I found a post today that was written to someone in diar need of support:
Posted by: c43h
When you have a brain that is completely garbled with thoughts and ideas that make no sense you need to see that there is no sense in trying to figure it out. None. Why? because you won't figure it out right now.
At this stage, it is better to look at a very difficult problem as simply as possible.
1. Deal with depression. Go and talk to someone. We are flock animals. No one figured it out alone.
2. Money is UNIMPORTANT. It is just the tool for further addiction and no bills debts or accumulation
will solve the merry go round you are in atm. Let it go. Make it important later.
3. When one needs to solve the brain puzzle you need to take it one peal at the time. Break down that problem into bite chunks and address them.
4. When things are spinning out of control. Focus on your breathing. Become mindful of what is happening now
You need to see someone. Look up your closest resource and go and have a chat. If they don't work try and try again.
Gambling addiction is a repeat action of trained in behaviour. You can train yourself to do something else.
It is all about attitude to the problem. Make a choice and you will at some point do something else.
But you have to help yourself. It starts with you.
wow that was very moving so sorry about your friend man we all know the hardships of gambling what it does to our mind our body our souls it takes our money our life our personality it sucks every thing from us untill we have nothing left the part that is so hard to explain to a non gambler is the part where u want to stop but you cant there is no substance going into your body there is nobody holding a gun to your head why would you want to give your money knowing no matter how much you win you will lose everytime , i dont know the answers all i can say is it is like in the movies when somebody dies and there spirit is there watching them thats how i feel when i have gambled when in depositing my brain switches off untill i have no money left its all out ov my control i beleive now im at rock bottom and i also think or beleive that you dont want to quit untill you reach rock bottom i feel different now im only 7 days in , unfortunatly some ppl hit rock bottom and still beleive theres no way out regarding your friend may they r.i.P and the wsy you talk about them seems to me you was there every stro of the way so in a way the was lucky not everybody had someone like you i respect you being on here as a non gambler it was nice to here a story frim the other side so ty
The last thing I want to today is Gamble.
Just for today only I will not gamble is a boundary I set up for myself.
I know for sure that if I gamble I made my life more painful and fears get larger when I gamble.
My addictions and obsessions indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable, yet I was not weak.
My addictions and obsessions were symptoms that I was escaping in unhealthy ways.
The money was just the fuel for my addictions.
That money was never going to heal my pains.
By staying in the recovery program my obsessive thinking I would stop saying I have to.
In time I would understand my healthy needs wants and goals.
By writing down these things I was being accountable to myself.
Sticking with the recovery program I would give more attention to exchanging my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
Once my fears reduced I was able to open up more as my fears reduce my trust grows.
I would learn what my feelings and emotions were and how to articulate myself in healthy ways.
I would learn what my emotional triggers were.
I would understand that my pains were not healed, that my fears were not being faced, that my frustrations were due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
That due to my unreasonable expectations I was hurting myself.
By me reducing my unreasonable expectations I would stop hurting myself.
Every pain in my life caused fears I did not understand.
So me being in the recovery program I got more dedicated in becoming more and more healthy.
To exchange every unhealthy reaction in to healthy interactions, this takes time.
I am a non religious person and yet I understand that my healthy conscience is based up on healthy spiritual values.
As I heal the pains of my hurt inner child there was less anger, there was less fears of intimacy, there was more confidence, more focus on self sufficiency, understanding my needs my wants and my new found goals.
I did not get it right away, it took many times going back to unhealthy habits to come out of myself.
The consequences of my healthy conscience is that when I am unhealthy I hurt myself and others.
Because I felt like I was completely out of control I would do or say some very unhealthy things.
When I lashed out it was just the unhealed pains of my past.
When I lashed out I would feel guilty afterwards and carry that pain with me.
Understanding why I lashed out would help me heal my pains.
Anger is a very unhealthy reaction due to my pains which were not healed, due to my fears were not being faced, that my frustrations were due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
In time as we peel back the onion and expose more suppressed pains the inner child starts to heal.
This enables us to be more healthy and allowing intimacy in to our life.
It is important to understand that intimacy in our life is a very important part of healing the hurt inner child.
Hence hearing and sharing our therapies helps us to get our self more and more.
Some might think that they will never be able to be so open and honest about their vulnerability will never happen, yet I was able to do it.
As we share our pains we stop being the victim of our past.
Sadly people will often feel that they do not deserve a healthy life, this is self destruction.
It is important to heal and become whole and healthy and in time we will cry for our hurt little child.
As we heal our pains we have more focus on the healthy aspects of our life.
We give up living in the pains of our past traumas and have full focus on our todays.
No longer the loner, no longer the fears, no longer living the victim, to have a healthy voice and be able to set your own healthy boundaries.
To no longer live in fear of asking for help or guidance.
To be an open book to intimacy and healthy living.
Love and peace to everyone.
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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