I've been to three different groups, the main problem for me is that I'm an introvert. Add to that chronically depressed and I don't feel like talking let alone making the effort to go to the meetings. I'm at a crisis point once again and I honestly feel it's hopeless but I'm willing to at least try and help myself. As I hadn't gambled for 8 months this year, I saved up just over a grand. I left my last job because everyone and everything annoyed me to the point that I was thinking I'm just doomed. My life has become so solitary. I've always been a loner as I grew up in the care system, moving from home to home. Eventually you stop trying to make friends if you're just going to be moving on soon enough. My gambling addiction is also the reason why I didn't put enough effort into my friends. Also it's affected any chances of a relationship. Anyway, I digress. Today I've been trying to get a Gamstop account. Tomorrow I'll self-exclude from my local betting shop and I was thinking of going to the nearest GA meeting. I honestly think it will be a waste of time but who knows? It might be the best decision I've ever made? My life now is hopeless. I can't work anymore, the stress from not gambling builds to the point where I only see the worst in people. I wish I didn't have these negative thoughts flooding my brain. I've just completed a CBT course which was quite useful but when I self-destruct, CBT isn't effective.
Does anyone on here regularly attend a GA meeting? Is it useful? One of the conditions I believing in a higher power which is going to be a struggle for me. I used to be a Christian and I have been on my knees begging God to take away my compulsive thoughts. I've even had people pray for me when I was suicidal. I got nothing back. I understand that being the victim isn't going to help. I fully accept my actions are to blame for my situation.
I'd appreciate it if anyone responds.
Stuart
Hi Stuart,
Yes, I go to GA meetings, or should I say I've just started again. Last year I went to quite a lot of meetings and found it useful and then, thinking I was "cured" stop going. Needless to say after a while I started gambling again so I have now joined GamCare and started with GA meetings again last week.
I am also quite introvert so similarly find it difficult to talk at these meetings, it is hard to open up about your problems to people who are effectively total strangers but I believe it is worth sticking at it as you get to know the people there gradually over time and it becomes easier to then talk to them about your issues and get advice from people who are (or have been) in a similar situation.
Not sure what you mean about "conditions I believing in a higher power". Do you think the GA meetings are very "faith oriented" and push religion through their meetings? If so, that is quite wrong, certainly in my experience anyway. There is no expectation that you have to believe in God, belong to a faith or anything like that, even though the meeting I go to is held in a church.
I would certainly recommend giving it a go, even if you don't say much for the first few meetings, just introduce yourself and say you find it difficult to talk, but listen to what other people are saying about how they are trying to address the addiction and you may get some good pointers to apply to yourself. Then, after a while, you may find you are able to discuss your own problems.
Thanks Bill for your encouraging reply. I have nothing to lose by going along at least once. I can't beat this addiction on my own. I'm already in the process of joining Gamstop and self-excluding from *****. I'm determined not to lose anymore money. I am a terrible gambler. In over 30 years of gambling, the most i've won on a bet is £2,500. I've got to get myself involved in something good. There has to be another way in life?
Stuart
You're welcome Stuart, we are all here to help each other and ourselves. I would however suggest that you give GA at least 3-4 meetings, if you can cope with that, rather than just go along to one and decide. I found you need a bit of time to feel comfortable with the group and I think you need to commit yourself, in your head, to go to at least 3-4, otherwise you'll find after the first one you will be thinking that "this doesn't work for me" and stop going, whereas if you convince yourself to do a few before deciding whether it is for you or not, then you are more likely to get something out of it, and keep going!!
Hi Bill,
That's great advice. I'm going into this meeting with a defeatist attitude. I need to give it a shot before I write it off. I'll have an open-mind. I'll go to 4 meetings. It might be a great decision. My mind is very negative at the moment, everything feels hopeless right now but people stop addiction everyday. I'm not bothered about what the other people think of me it's just having the will to share. Some days I just don't feel like talking. I appreciate your time.
Stuart
The “Higher Power” is nothing to do with Christianity or religion, but more spirituality.
we are admitting we are powerless to defeat gambling on our own and we need help to do it.
Hi Stuart,
I go to a GA meeting every week when I can and I have found it extremely helpful. I dreaded walking in the door on the first evening and I had a million preconceptions beforehand. What I found was a very welcoming group of people who have all experienced the same things as me and didn't judge me at all. I think you will find a lot of people there who have become very insular or are loners and that has been mainly driven by gambling. I didn't feel confident enough at the start to say much but with time I found that I could open up a little bit and let out some of the built up angst, anxiety, stress etc. The group I go to does not run the 12 step programme but does always end with the serenity prayer, which of course starts with 'god grant me...'. I personally say 'please grant me' instead and there's no judgment.
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so helpless but I would definitely recommend trying the meetings and like an earlier poster suggeted, I would give it a good few meetings to give it a chance.
I'm not saying that I've made friends for life, but I know that there is a place to go where people 'get it' and have been welcoming to me and everyone is working towards the same goal of being gamble free.
You've got nothing to lose by giving it a go. It's only been a positive experience for me.
I wish you well
Kate
Thank you guys for your encouraging words. You've convinced me that going to my nearest meeting next Thursday evening is a priority. This year I didn't gamble for 8 months. I know I can stop again, it's staying stopped. I hope going to a GA meeting will help me to abstain from this ridiculous addiction.
Stuart
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