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Debt Help...Any real stories?  

 
Jinny19
(@jinny19)

Hi. I've not posted before so hello all. I was wondering if anyone can offer any advice or share any recent true stories of how they dealt with debt...or should I say debt specifically as a result of gambling.

I am in a lot of debt currently, largely from gambling and am at the point where something has to give.  

I plucked up the courage to speak to Payplan recently and had a 2 hour conversation with a nice lady about my options and went through my budget and stuff.  I was feeling positive for the first time in months, thinking there may be a way out for me but when I mentioned that a lot of my debt was from gambling I felt a change in her tone and she said a lot of lenders won't agree to any debt plans or even an IVA if the debt is from gambling...I felt really flat at the end of it all and feel as ifi have no where to turn now.

What do I do now? 

 

 

 

Quote
Posted : 21st October 2019 10:58 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi Jinny19

Thank you for posting your story. You've taken a really important step, by facing up to your debt and talking to PayPlan, and by facing up to your gambling and posting here.

While we can't advise about the debt itself, we can say that the success of any debt management plan is going to depend on being able to put the gambling behind you. You don't say if you've taken any steps to stop the gambling, or had any treatment for the gambling. 

We'd be really happy to talk this over with you and let you know what options there might be for you for support with your gambling. Our helpline is on 0808 8020 133. If you prefer webchat, you can chat 1:1 to an adviser on our NetLine. Both are open 24/7.

Many people here on the forum have posted about getting their debts under control. Hopefully some will be along to post their stories here. You could also try using the "search forum" facility at the top right of the forum to find posts about debt.

Best wishes

Forum Admin 

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Posted : 21st October 2019 11:19 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hello and welcome.

You need to get into the mindset that your mental health is the most important thing along with stopping the gambling for good.

You can only pay back what you can afford. A DRO debt relief order is an option and the citizens advice bureau set that up for me. The CAB are very good to talk to.

There is hope and there is serenity to be found. Ive been bankrupt twice and I am now ticking along very nicely. Ive never been better with money and I finally have some.

Openness and honesty are key factors here. You will find people will help when you are straight with them. They want to see your mistakes or flaws so they can properly prepare the help needed.

Im asuming here that you are in a proper recovery from gambling because that must stop for things to fall into place.

Now Ive been a credit controller so you must not let debt scare you. Believe me let them do the worrying if they are going to get their money back....many of them were over lending to people in the first place. Im not saying totally ignore responsibilities but you find a balance to care only just as much as you have to.

There is no shame in admitting to a gambling problem so dont let payplan embarrass you with it...you need a third party advisor like CAB or a trusted friend/professional to act on your behalf.

Look at it this way.its the reason debt got out of control so I dont think you should hide that you are getting help for it.

If you have credit card transactions linked directly to gambling you should point that out...Its a national disgrace that financial institutions allow gambling deposits from cards. 

So there is help and there is a future for you. Remember there is always a way out because you are allowed a living allowance and if its all too much bankruptcy/DRO is a fresh start...dont let anybody stress you about any stigma because you can start again. Your financial advisor will look at the figures

Best wishes 

 

This post was modified 3 weeks ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 22nd October 2019 3:02 am
SteSteB
(@stesteb)
Posted by: Jinny19

Hi. I've not posted before so hello all. I was wondering if anyone can offer any advice or share any recent true stories of how they dealt with debt...or should I say debt specifically as a result of gambling.

I am in a lot of debt currently, largely from gambling and am at the point where something has to give.  

I plucked up the courage to speak to Payplan recently and had a 2 hour conversation with a nice lady about my options and went through my budget and stuff.  I was feeling positive for the first time in months, thinking there may be a way out for me but when I mentioned that a lot of my debt was from gambling I felt a change in her tone and she said a lot of lenders won't agree to any debt plans or even an IVA if the debt is from gambling...I felt really flat at the end of it all and feel as ifi have no where to turn now.

What do I do now? 

 

 

 

Hi jinny

 

I'm very much in the same boat as you.

 

I spoke with step change and they are fantastic. I made them aware of the reason I was the situation I was in and they never judged and even mentioned within budget to allow for relapse to an extent. The spoke with all my creditors and my monthly outgoings have gone from 1.4k per month in debt repayment to about 600. I have defaulted on all my loans and credit cards but I'm paying them all back and a debt management plan was the right solution for me. 

 

I can now go to work and know what I earn 8s enough to keep a roof over mine and more importantly my familys head and not have to worry about how I'm going to cope the next month. Up to the point of the DMP being started I had never missed a payment and I rang every creditor and asked them for a 30 day hold period while the DMP was being sorted and gave them my step change change reference number. The DMP was set up and payment taken after about 3 weeks start to finish. Very easy and very non judgemental. All the creditors never asked the reason why things had changed but I was open and open and honest to the step change adviser and he never said anything derogatory in fact he sympathised and asked if there was anything in regards to counselling etc that I needed. 

 

Don't let debt ruin your life. I had been doing for so long in fact it was the primary reason I gambled. To try and recover from the hole gambling had got me into in the first place. Since I've got my DMP in place I've not gambled as I'm much better financially and i am now 140 days gamble free.

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd October 2019 9:58 am
Compulsive Gambler
(@compulsive-gambler)

Hi first and foremost you need to commit to stopping gambling, at whatever cost and whatever that takes. Any other financial relief will be temporary and probably pointless if you don't. It is also very easy to commit to not gambling, when you have no money and no way of getting any money.  I've lived long periods of my life with less than £20 to my name and short of theft or burglary, no way of getting any money.  I time and time again convinced myself that I would never gamble again. I had bail outs, was given lifelines left right and centre. I've cashed in 1ps and 2ps, I've gone without food and sold anything I possibly could to try and raise some money to eat, then gambled everything but 30p and lived on mouldy toast.  Yet the second I had money I went straight back to gambling. I'd often 'win' on the next trip which would convince me that I could always get myself out of it.

Stepchange are always touted as being great. a website called debt camel helped me. I've also finally committed to be a loser.  I lost. the bookies won, fair play to them, I kept making the choice to take them on, yet I never actually won.  Just over two years ago I was up to my eyeballs in debt, I had payday loans, bad credit cards, defaults and repayment arrangements.  My debt was the same level as my annual salary and I'm on a decent wage.

About 6 weeks ago I was approved for a mortgage.  I am 900+ days gamble free, I am still an addicted gambler but I also have a choice and today I am choosing to not gamble.

I feel sick when I read stories like yours, It's all too real and It's so so hard. However it is also possible, very possible and you can do this, if you choose to.

Oh, you will also face some criticism, some nasty comments or an unwelcome tone of voice. You will face your own chimp berating you, belittling you and encouraging you to take a shortcut, in these moments you still have a choice. You can break, you can give in and gamble or you can accept it, they are all consequences of your choice to gamble. You rolled the dice, you lost.

but it's ok.

honestly, it is ok, you lost, well done bookies, you won. 

  I can't change my past choices, no matter how much I wish to but I can control my choices from here on. I'm Dan, a compulsive gambler but today I will choose to not gamble.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd October 2019 11:48 am
Bal
 Bal
(@bal)

I would recommend a debt management plan (dmp) with Stepchange Debt Charity.

When i set my plan up they asked the amount of debt but not the reason why.

They work out a plan to pay off your creditors bur leaving you with money to live on each month. Any negotiations with the creditors are done by them including requests to freeze interest etc.

You MUST pay them (via DD) the correct amount each month or it is pointless as they may refuse to help resulting in them withdrawing the service.

I am coming towards the end of mine. It can be a long road but it helps you begin to deal with monies again.

Best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd October 2019 2:06 pm
Xenedra
(@xenedra)

Hiya! 

can also vouch for StepChange! Very similar to PayPlan but better I think. 

I had £23k in 𝖣𝖾𝖻𝗍 about £20k was due to gambling! I currently owe £11k and it feels good to be on top of it! I don’t ever hear from creditors and it’s brilliant! Only downside is a hefty 3 figure direct debit to pay it all back! I’d rather not be paying that but I do need to pay for the damage my gambling caused!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd October 2019 7:21 pm
Oranje01
(@oranje01)

Hi,

i should have used step change but I decided to call all my creditors Individually and set up payment plans with them all. After all my repayments have been made each month I’m not left with much disposable income, but in 2 years I should be out of the hole.

c

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd October 2019 9:29 pm
Givemethebuzz
(@givemethebuzz)

 I called it a day at about 12K worth of debt repayments were north of £500 a month and it was all getting too much

entered an IVA 4 years ago I abandoned all my credit cards and overdrafts and didn't really look back

I learnt to survive without any of it , and I will say it makes you incredibly resourceful

there was times where it was hard really hard , I remember having to live off 5 or 10 pound for a week before payday missing nights out with my friends , sneaking on trains to work etc

now with  8 months to go I am financially stable and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer everyday

the only advice i can offer is to start today as you have a long road ahead of you

prepare for life without credit , you need to start making contacts that will allow you to manage without it

 

 

This post was modified 3 weeks ago by Givemethebuzz
ReplyQuote
Posted : 23rd October 2019 9:41 am
Losingnomore
(@losingnomore)

Hi Stesteb,

Thanks for your post, I find myself in a very similar situation with the same £1.4k a month just to pay loans and cards.

Did the DMP reduce the amount of interest or did the creditors not agree to this, I assume they did if your payment has reduced considerably.

Also, were they fair with your budget that’s required each month and able to leave you a bit extra or was it a case that you were allowed bills and food with any remaining going to the creditors?

 

thanks in advance.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th October 2019 5:25 pm
SteSteB
(@stesteb)
Posted by: Losingnomore

Hi Stesteb,

Thanks for your post, I find myself in a very similar situation with the same £1.4k a month just to pay loans and cards.

Did the DMP reduce the amount of interest or did the creditors not agree to this, I assume they did if your payment has reduced considerably.

Also, were they fair with your budget that’s required each month and able to leave you a bit extra or was it a case that you were allowed bills and food with any remaining going to the creditors?

 

thanks in advance.

They sent messages to all my creditors. I'm unsure as to how it works exactly. And whether the interest has been frozen for the duration but it certainly has take the stress and worry away from me. 

 

My dmp leaves me with an amount a month to live on. I pay my wife a large sum of my wage as a board payment. She has always dealt with the bills. Then what's left they ask about mh lifestyle and the money left goes to my dmp I should be debt free in 6 years its a fair amount of time, but I'm not hemorrhaging money on gambling any more. My wife has full financial control and I signed up to gamstop. And had counselling through gam care.

 

The important thing for me was re prioritising and gambling is no longer a priority. It only works because of that fact. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th October 2019 6:36 am
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