So after a huge binge online 18 days ago I feel strange this morning.. almost like reality has slapped me hard around the face. How the bloody hell can I be so stupid. I really don't understand how throwing your money away becomes an addiction. When you go in casino you know your gonna loose, might as well leave the money at the door. How can that make you happy? The only person who is truly happy is the one on the yacht in the med sipping pina colada with your hard earned cash. Whilst you are struggling to eat and are ruining your life....your being mocked. No one likes anyone who takes the Mickey!! I've developed a massive hate over the last 18 days...18 days will turn to 18 months and 18 years.... I hate it and I'm NEVER going back..... It's almost took everything from me... Material things, family and my mind...
Sorry for rambling, I like talking here with other like minded individuals.
Gambling is not worth it 😘
A great post and I am 100% with you. I have binge gambled for years and put myself into ridiculous amounts of debt.
I had the moment of clarity that you describe 27 days ago and I am now a non-gambler. I know that it will take years to pay off the debt but at least I have a decent income to get through this. It is hard to work out if I am more upset with myself for being so stupid or for having to spend years getting out of the hole that I have dug but, whatever the case, it will never happen again.
Stay strong and never forget these feelings as I believe that you will never want to gamble again when you realise how stupid you have been, just like me.
It can be a spiral for sure and there is nothing worse than the feeling of nausea straight after a big loss, then comes the self-loathing and self-pity....then the cycle continues.
Interestingly, I have just accepted this weekend that my self-destruction is not just confined to gambling and had developed in other areas, most notably binge drinking. Others might eat junk food or smoke etc but I am clear that the only way to benefit fully from being a non-gambler is to stamp out the other types of self-destruction.
Keep pushing with your journeys and I hope that all of us can make the most of our lives as non-gamblers. 29 days and not really counting!