Well this is a conundrum.
My boss has sprung this on me and I have to go, 30 staff and customers at the races next week.
I wont say where or when but for work purposes its 99% certain I cant get out of it.
I champion on here about staying away from situations like this but I'm actually thinking I can do this, entertain and not get involved.
I'm very rarely off work sick, my customers would be let down if I dont go, it's a big part of my job so not that easy to toss it off.
I will let you all know how I'm feeling before and after.*gulps
I’ve probably told you this before: I tell anyone and everyone that I’ve had an epiphany and have decided to try some self improvement. I’ve set myself a one year challenge not to bet for the year. I started just before new year and I’m about 260 days in. I also tell people that after a year I’ll make a considered judgement and possibly stop forever. In year 2 I’ll give something else up.
This has felt far more comfortable for me, particularly in certain environments like the one you describe, rather than telling people it had become an issue. It’s not a lie, it’s not the full truth (I had lost control and had to stop), but it works for me and seems to be accepted by others. In fact, they’re very congratulatory and supportive when they know you’re doing a challenge, like when you do movember or stoptober etc. There’s no pity party, no long conversations and for me, it’s been really helpful to be able to share that I’m not gambling, without the reactions this could rightly or wrongly bring.
You can go to the races and not bet, just enjoy the day out. I’m sure you’ll have a GF day. Good luck ?
Interesting replies, great idea about saying I’m giving up betting for 2019 as a challenge, I think folk would get that.Yes I can go and enjoy a drink and free food.
I just didn’t want to put the devil infringement of me.
however what I have learned is take no money with you, I don’t need to in truth and that will prevent me from betting, think I’m worrying about nothing.
thanks lads
Interesting replies, great idea about saying I’m giving up betting for 2019 as a challenge, I think folk would get that.Yes I can go and enjoy a drink and free food.
thanks lads
I'd make sure to say it firmly in the past tense - ie 'Oh, I gave up betting for 2019 as a challenge.'
That way it sounds more of a done deal to the listener, no-one will even think of pressuring you then, as a) you already have a good three-quarters of the year behind you and b) nobody wants to derail a success.
If you're there for your customers and for work, focus on them and the day will fly by.
And if you get a bit apprehensive in the run up to the day, imagine it's already happened, that you've already been and it went very well for you. That little trick has worked for me loads of times to calm anxiety.
For me, it's a no brainer. Don't go.
I'd like to go into details on how desperate my life has come in regards to gambling but Gamcare won't allow it. If you're on this site I've no doubt you too have reached these depths of absolute despair. I agree that there is a spectrum of problem gamblers, some can gamble occasionally. I guess you're not in that category? Even walking past the bookies or watching a gambling advert on tv makes me uncomfortable. A day at the races spells disaster to me.
All the best
Stuart
I could say " Don't go but if it's a business thing not much you can do , " No money , no card's " = " No bet " but the easiest way would be to take a screenshot of your first ever post on here Holly and if your feeling tempted take a long hard look mate as to why your here .... Nuff said and I'm sure you'll not mess it all up :))
I have only one way of getting out of it and that would be to be unwell.
It's a simple solution , take no cards and very little money , I dont need to in truth.
The customers will keep me busy , look I understand why put myself in this position but in truth if I had urges I could walk into any bookies and break my pledge to never gamble.
I'm learning to watch sport and not want to bet , I can do that next week too surely.
I wasn't having a go mate , just saying be careful .
Enjoy your day and all the best 🙂
I wasn't having a go mate , just saying be careful .
Enjoy your day and all the best 🙂
Yeah I know pal....
Another way to look at it is to set yourself the challenge for the day.
Can you go, eat, drink, network and not gamble. Could you use it as a test and if completed might give you a great platform to work off.
Another way to look at it is to set yourself the challenge for the day.
Can you go, eat, drink, network and not gamble. Could you use it as a test and if completed might give you a great platform to work off.
I’m going to treat it as a night out, the only time I will leave the room will be for the loo.
usually I’d have £300 in the hip and bet , I actually like the races,I always did fine, even if I lost I had a good day, i treated it as it was, a nice day out.When I was at home or in the betting shop I’d lose control in the most hideous of ways.
it will be a weird night but one I’m going to confront.
I’m going to be in the same position at some point, I’m going to do what you plan to do. Treat it just as a night out.
Good luck
Yes I think you can deal with it if you have no option but to go.
As others have said, You set up a controlled environment with very limited cash and discuss your feelings afterwards with people who understand.
We have to confront this. Its unlikely but if I was forced to take customers into a gambling environment, I have the knowledge to protect myself before I go. Its an unlikely scenario but not impossible.
The key to a long recovery is never being complacent and never really writing a success story. I know Im vunerable given the wrong set of circumstances...aimless, lonely and in the wrong areas are potential trigger points for me.
I think you will be fine because you are setting up laboratory conditions. If you did lose control then having no cards with you and limited cash would be a backstop. Youre not really going to be borrowing from others on the spot but you have to discuss every possible worst case scenario.
Then I think you have to ensure its not a regular occurence related to your job. I would not want a job where that was a regular occurence
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Yes I think you can deal with it if you have no option but to go.
As others have said, You set up a controlled environment with very limited cash and discuss your feelings afterwards with people who understand.
We have to confront this. Its unlikely but if I was forced to take customers into a gambling environment, I have the knowledge to protect myself before I go. Its an unlikely scenario but not impossible.
The key to a long recovery is never being complacent and never really writing a success story. I know Im vunerable given the wrong set of circumstances...aimless, lonely and in the wrong areas are potential trigger points for me.
I think you will be fine because you are setting up laboratory conditions. If you did lose control then having no cards with you and limited cash would be a backstop. Youre not really going to be borrowing from others on the spot but you have to discuss every possible worst case scenario.
Then I think you have to ensure its not a regular occurence related to your job. I would not want a job where that was a regular occurence
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thanks JD, I agree and because now I know how to protect myself I know I can go and enjoy it actually.
Enjoy might be the wrong word but the fact that I will go and not hand over 1p to bet will bring me happiness. If I'm asked why I'm not having a bet I will just tell them I'm here for the customers.
Keeping the faith
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