Hello again all
I don't know where to start, I have been incredibly foolish. I took a 6 month gamstop sign up and when it came to an end I phoned up to allow it to be ended properly. I returned to matched betting on the basis that I was sensible now and would use any profit to pay off credit cards. My partner trusted me to do this. I had reached 50 days GF. Well that was 50 days ago. I started off fine, then the slots got the better of me and I was on a winning streak. I put the money towards paying off credit cards further, holiday, stuff I didn't need etc. And then the addiction well and truly took hold again. On Thursday night I went through thousands and thousands. Had a meltdown Friday eve and told my parents which was horrendous. I've told my partner too. He is disappointed but not as angry as I thought, he says what's done is done and move on. But that didn't stop me. I've carried on yesterday and today, adding more thousands. And I don't have this money, it's all through PayPal. I'm so scared what will happen when it bounces when PayPal tries to take it by direct debit. I'm not justifying this in any way but it seems so fundamentally wrong that PayPal can allow this to happen, the first few transactions should send alarm bells ringing let alone the 50 plus thereafter.
Ironically I have been on the waiting list for phone counselling for a few months and my first appt is tomorrow. I thought I wouldn't have much to say but never predicted this.
Why couldn't I just stop when i had the money, it felt so blissful. And I know I need to phone gamstop again but I'm torn in my head knowing that means I absolutely have to write that money off.
I'm in panic mode googling how to make more money, it's my whole focus.
Sorry for the rambles, it just feels so dire currently and yet I'm not doing anything to stop it.
I'm sorry to hear of your latest gambling spree... Me too did the PayPal direct debits with no money in the bank. I just set up a affordable payment plan with them to pay it off. Surprisingly they was very understanding regarding my gambling problem which was good. You must seek help and put the blocks back in place. I am one day gamble free so not exactly in the best position to give advice out. You stopped before so just shows can be done again. Wish you all the best in recovery x
Hi Jayjay,
Thank you for your support. I have this afternoon transferring my remaining savings to my partner so I have no money in my account at all as I'm still so tempted. And I've requested another gamstop ban this time for 5 years. I have no idea what the PayPal amount is going to be so will see what happens over the next few days. Trying to find other distractions just now.
Best of luck in your journey, we can do this xx
I'm in panic mode googling how to make more money, it's my whole focus.
Hi smudgey1,
Sorry to hear of your lapse but well done on signing up to Gamstop for 5 years & well done on confiding with your partner. You do however have to be ruthlessly honest with them about the extent of your gambling and debts. He must not bail you out.
If you debts are unmanageable, contact Stepchange or similar and get proper advice
Your whole focus should be on stopping gambling for good. It's never just about the money, but you will never, never win it back. Whatever you win, it won't be enough.
You won't be the first to get into this difficulty through matched betting & won't be the last. Its a bit of a stain on the site that promotes it.
You can come through this but I hope you understand that it is very difficult to do it on your own, or through will power alone.
Get yourself to a gamblers anonymous meeting as soon as possible.
Hope the counseling goes well.
Hi K2
Thank you for your supportive words and advice. The couselling session went well, lots of paths to explore over the next few weeks with it and already some practical tips for dealing with some of my feelings.
Not being able to gamble due to the self exclusion has been amazing today. I did some gardening before the session and housework after. Trouble is I have an all or nothing approach so need to find a happy medium with filling my time. Im focussing on making a note of what I have achieved today, so that it completely takes it away from how many GF days etc I am on. I want to show the benefits of not gambling and new lease of life I find, rather than focussing solely on the achievement of not gambling. Not sure if that's the right way to look at it, but it's where I am currently.
The PayPal money will bounce either tomorrow or the next day, at which point I will be clearer about what I owe and can contact step change as you suggest.
Thanks so much and best of luck on your journey too x
It seems somewhat perverse to say stay positive, but from someone who was in a similar position 6 months ago, I promise you it’s good advice,
whats done is done and by admitting it, moving on from it and eventually dealing with it, you are back in control.
It won’t be easy, but take every ounce of passion you have for other things (family, love, sport, music, food, theatre etc..) and utilise it to stop gambling and you’ll have a happier, healthier and more fulfilling life in time.
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