It's been a long time since I last used this site and it's not because my gambling had stopped, nothing could be further from the truth. I'm back here as I need to stop, when will enough ever be enough? I've lost so many friends, relationships via gambling to the point I've hardly any mates I never go out and it's a cycle I need to get out of. Gambling has robbed me of over 30 years of my life and I don't want to give any more days to this horrible addiction. Today is day one and I'm feeling pretty low due to overthinking why do I do it to myself. Am I punishing myself as I dont like who I am as a person or am I gambling as some sort of escape from reality? What ever my reasons for doing it I really don't know but right now I really do hate who I have become as a man. I put a face on when I'm at work i have a good laugh but then on my days off I'm just sitting about and that's when I gamble. I signed up to gamstop the day it came out and done the 5years exclusion, I have excluded from all the bookies within 15 miles, I have put blocks on my cards, and excluded from casinos yet i still I find a way. We have all these offshore casinos advertising not signed up to gamstop and they are totally preying on no one but problem gamblers and the deposits also bypass the banks blocking system on your cards. I recently deposited a large amount on one of these sites. when I first tried the transaction I prayed it wouldn't go through but it did so I played and I don't need to tell you what then happened as you know the cycle yourselves. When I had the courage to actually look at my credit card statement my heart sank as it was way more than I thought and to make matters worse the deposits went to lagos Nigeria 🙁 I'd have been as well responding to those dodgy emails and handing over my back details. I now have gamblock and gamban on my phone so I pray that I can't do any more gambling on my phone I've tried accessing sites just to see if I can and so far so good. So yesterday comes and I'm up town and I had not one thought of gambling but I missed the bus by seconds so I walked along to another bus stop which is close to the arcades and its crazy how it just pulled me in like a magnet, I was fighting with myself all the way along and I gave in. I knew I should have also excluded from these places but deep down I knew it was the last physical place I could gamble so here I am missing the bus by seconds and a stupid amount of money lost again. So here I am on here looking for help and admitting again that my problem is way out of hand. I have no control over gambling, for 35 years gambling has controlled me. Its time to stop and today is my day 1.
It sounds like you have had a difficult time recently. Well done for coming here to talk about everything that is happening for you and for being so open and honest. This is a very positive step to make.
You don't mention if you have or not but i would encourage you to give our HelpLine a call. Our advisers are available 24/7 and are able to support and advise you through this difficult time. They could even refer you for free one to one treatment if you would like them to. You can contact them by calling the HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 or by using our Livechat.
I am sure you will also get some peer support her on the forum.
For now, take care and keep posting.
How you doing eckybhoy? Looks like you’re probably from the other side of Glasgow city from me 😉. A lot of what you’ve said rings true with me, I’ve had a massive lapse on Friday night there and I’ve been sitting shellshocked all weekend wondering w*f am going to do. I’ve downloaded Gamban and it definitely seems a lot more robust and secure than it used to be so I’m counting that as a massive positive. Done all the gamstop enrolments etc as well. But I know what you mean re the where there’s a will there’s a way thing, I’ve joined countless dodgy online casinos in the past, doesn’t bear thinking about.
Why don’t you have a look at the online GamCare treatment course on the website, I spent a few hours reading about it yesterday and it definitely seems worthwhile.
I can totally relate to the losing pals and relationships over this Addiction, I’m mid 30s and out of a group of about 5 or 6 lifelong pals, I only speak to 1 of them anymore. I can’t blame the rest of them for not talking to me but some of those relationships were toxic anyway so I’m just trying to keep my chin up about it.
the most important person in your life is you mate and while we’re gambling we’re definitely hurting that relationship, sounds pure hippyish but it’s defo true.
Hope your feeling bit better mate, Just go one day at a time!