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Self exclusion  

 
Light
(@light)

Hi, I’ve just joined this after promising myself I wouldn’t gamble on payday and yet again I have and now have nothing for the month. 
as you can imagine I’m feeling pretty low right now and can’t sleep and have a thousand stresses, like what am I going to tell my partner (doesn’t know about my addiction) how I’m going to afford food and bills etc. 
Ive been gambling for a year now and I can’t remember how it feels to actually have any money or nice things, No stress or lying to people but I’m struggling to self exclude myself completely and am leaving a few back up sites that I can use. For the life of me I just can’t seem to take that leap as For some reason I just keep thinking I can bet a small amount and get I higher next payday and I tell myself it’s a waste no one who’s addicted can ever win on gambling cause I know I would put it back in. What did it finally take for you guys to take that step because I just can’t seem to do it and keep chasing my loses 

This topic was modified 3 weeks ago by Light
Quote
Posted : 5th September 2020 3:11 am
bdog
 bdog
(@bdog)

Hi,

Read my bio. I struggled too, but if you actually really want to stop you will take all the measures. Really wanting to stop was the key for me. I had pretended I wanted to regularly, and usually when I’d done all my money and felt low.

Take action. I’m now over 600 days GF after 20+ years of daily gambling and I feel like a different person. It’s not easy, but if you really want it, you can do it.

Do you really want to quit? 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th September 2020 8:26 am
Mickpa
(@mickpa)

Everyone thinks the same as you. We all want to gamble. I want to right now but know I cant...I mustn't. I've gambled for donkeys years and lost a fortune and can say to you that if you don't stop you will lose your partner and it will ruin your life. Take a breath and sign-up for self-exclusion 100%. Do it immediately and when it done the stress will lift. It takes a while for you to stop looking but try not to......make a pact with yourself that every time you feel an urge to gamble you hoover or take a shower...anything to take your mind off it. I come on here and pass on my thoughts as I've had that many showers I'm getting wrinkly!!  Just do it - self-exclude from all sights.  Be strong and then you will notice the extra cash in your pocket, extra time to spend with friends and family rather than glued to a screen or in a bookies. It only takes a second so don't think just act. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th September 2020 9:02 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@light

My experience is that people get to a point when they've had enough or they hit a rock bottom moment and that's enough to start the process. 

This site gives those whose haven't had enough an idea of the things you can do to help yourself but very few can take advantage of it. You would think all the horror stories would be enough and yet here we are.

For me it starts with honesty. Being honest with yourself and those nearest to you. If you can do that then you have a base to work from.

I hope you're not at your rock bottom because it's really not a good place to get to but you can see where you'll end up if you keep going.

Good luck.

Chris.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th September 2020 7:48 pm
Light
(@light)

Thanks for the reply’s guys, I do try to do things to take my mind off it but I seem to gamble at night until the early hours as it’s when I’m most relaxed I think plus I’m on my own as my partner is asleep,  it’s hard to find things to do at that time, I have since lent money and convinced myself I would win after all the losses surly and spent that too like a absolute idiot, it’s my own fault I just don’t get why I give into it the feeling the next day is indescribable  

to be honest I would love to feel like I have money but when I have it and gamble it feels like it’s nothing untill I lose it all anyway,  telling someone would take a huge weight off me at the moment as I can’t afford to live for the next month plus money’s coming out of my next pay to pay back what I lent it’s just I feel ashamed, I’ve just excluded from All the sites i was on it’s a start I suppose 

I need to change I know I will lose it all otherwise including my partner who I’ve been very distant with due to being stressed and isn’t fair well anyway I hope you guys are all staying strong a huge congrats on being gamble free i cant wait to say it one day 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th September 2020 1:24 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hello @light

Well done on self-excluding from the websites, it's a good start. You're thinking about the impact that gambling is having and you're looking to make the changes that you need. You can self-exclude from all UK-licensed gambling websites at www.gamstop.co.uk, this helps to prevent the cycle of self-excluding from individual websites and then setting up new accounts elsewhere. 

You can get lots more information about support that's available to you and tools and strategies you can use in your recovery by contacting the Advisers on our Helpline (0808 8020 133) or Netline (our webchat). They can help you put a plan together of next steps and are able to make referrals for free treatment. 

Keep reaching out. You can make the changes, but you don't need to do it alone.

All the best,

Elizabeth
Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th September 2020 6:08 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@light, Another thing that might help is not using the language you use. You're not an idiot. You are a compulsive gambler. There's a vast difference. One is a choice or just stupidity. The other is an illness, or addiction, that means you cannot stop on your own using willpower only.

You've started by excluding yourself from individual sites. Now use Gamstop for the others. Then tell your partner. Start having help from others.

Chris. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th September 2020 10:56 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi light. Try not to look too far in advance even one day is one day gamble free take it a day at a time will soon build up then imagine getting to a week and so on. You need tools to help you do this gamstop is an excellent one a simple thing to do but has massive impact. Prior to using gamstop I had gambled every day for approx 2years now it's been 3months gamble free !! Now I'm not saying that's all there is to it....once you get the start away from gambling and the fog starts to lift you need to have to change and I'm not saying it's easy. But are good things ever easy to come by ?? Find a GA meeting sit in a room of people who understand without you having to explain get the support open up heal, get the change

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Posted : 6th September 2020 11:17 am
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