All time low

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kch1990
(@kchurch)
Posts: 48
Topic starter
 

Just an update on how it all started for me and where I am on my road to recovery. It all started at 18 first going to university. Online gambling seemed so accessable and i thought nobody could ever know I was gambling. I was very lucky in the respect my parents paid my first year accommodation up front so i had no outgoings. Started with £5/£10 football accumulators and for the first year or so kept the stakes the same and probably broke even/made a slight profit.

Second year of university came, saved quite a lot from year one which I always vowed never to touch. Stakes started to increase over time and broadened my horizons to tennis as it was always a sport I loved so I thought a quick way to make cash was to bet on a player to win a service game, for example, set one game 5 winner. To me at the time seemed logical because I could back £80 on the server holding at odds 1/4 for example. With this stupid theory I thought I could easily make back what I lost on football accumulators. This got progressively worse and thought the more I staked the more I could have won. Also each service game could be over as quick as two minutes so saw it as easy money. This only lasted so long when all my money in my current account had gone. I started digging into my £3,500 savings which lasted me until the end of my second year. That summer I vowed to stop because my year in industry was coming up which was a well paid job so this was my chance of a fresh start.

Placement year came where I secured a job for a chemical company for my year in industry, based in Frankfurt. Lasted about 3 months before I started to gamble again. I was stuck in a bad place mentally, didn't speak German, had no friends at all I'm Frankfurt and didn't feel I had anywhere to turn. I gambled every evening to pass the time. Again I was lucky as my rent was free as I lived on site so again had no outgoings whatsover so really I thought I had nothing to lose as I had a roof secured over my head. Payday would come and I would buy a big shop so I knee I would have food in the cupboard however the rest of my wages would be gone in hours. I went through a period of then thinking when next payday come if I just make £10 a day that's at least £300 a month..how hard could that be. That's when I started taking out payday loans to fund my habit. Managed to take out £2000 of payday loans in a month and thought I could make a profit and if not I could just withdraw what I deposited and pay the interest from my wages. Some months this was fine when I had a good few days so came out of the end of the first month with a profit. Next payday arrived, same story lost all my wages so turned to payday loans and was entitled to more. Lost all that and was at an all time low. Set up a payment plan with the lenders and paid off a bit a month however every payday would come where I ensured I still hand funds to gamble.

My year placement was over and just about paid off all my debts that I owed. Arrived back to my original home in Wales in July 2011 and first thing I did there was secure two summer jobs, one working at a 5* hotel and other working nights stacking shelves at sainsburys. In total I would earn and £1500 a month and did that for three months. I then quit the hotel job and got transferred stores with Sainsburys to the Huddersfield store where I was studying. With the money I had saved that summer not gambling I managed to pay for my first two rent installments and still had some saved for a rainy day.

This was my final year of a Chemistry could so i knew this was going to be tough! So my first term student loan came and went about a month without an urge to gamble..so far I had gone 121 days a thought this was it now..I'm never going back to the place I was in. I was exhausted working two jobs all summer and thought all that hard work must count for something. Slowly the work load increased, pressure from fellow students for my help increased and felt increasily stressed to keep everyone happy. I made absolutely no time for myself and got to the point where I couldn't face the world so locked myself in my room for days on end. This is when thoughts creeped into my mind about gambling as I would complete and submit work early so had evenings completely free. Unfortunately I returned to gambling with initial small £10 deposits then same old story , stakes increased, losses increased. What drawn my to online gambling was the secrecy about it all and the fact I didn't feel I was physically losing as I never saw the money I had lost..to me it just seemed like a number..almost as if it wasn't real. Went down the same route of payday loans/ payday wages being lost on gambling..maxing out my £5000 overdraft and £1500 credit card. I was at an all time low..managed to stay focussed and graduated with a 2:1 in the end but I wasn't happy within myself. All income I had would go straight in gambling. Again payment plans were set up and then I secured my first job relating to my degree and this was the boost I needed. Still I gambled every day but a little less as I ensured all my outgoings were paid and the rest I had would go on gambling. Got to the point in June 2013 where all my debts were paid off but was still gambling. I opened up to my current girlfriend at the time, my family and friends and told them I had every intention to stop.

Life was going well and in March we decided time was right to find our own place together. I secured a job in Plymouth and made the move in April. A month in and she ended the relationship with me, stating she wasn't ready for this after all so I was renting a house for us which had stay in for a minimum of 6 months and rent wasn't cheap. Times were tough, I had no connections down here and thought its only a matter of time before I turn back to gambling. The 6 months passed and thought I would move to a shared house where the rent was almost half the price and was an opportunity to meet others. 

Moving back to South Wales in 2016 I moved back in with my parents initially as I secured a job back home but that urge came back to me just as life was great to have a bet which absolutely crushed me. Borrowing thousands in the process from loan companies and eventually my mum paying off everything to the point of owing her £25000 as of September 2020. Having worked all the overtime possible as of this month I owe her £3500 having been bet free all this time. Having being so close to being debt free two months ago I couldn’t quite fight that urge and despite not taking out any more loans it still feels like something I can’t quite shake. I have an amazing fiancé who knows everything but still find it difficult to confide in her because I feel guilty having to put this on her shoulders despite her saying she would rather know than to find out I’ve relapsed. Really focused on our wedding next year which is my immediate goal to be gamble free for! 

This topic was modified 2 years ago by kch1990
 
Posted : 16th May 2022 8:06 pm
 GREG
(@gdiddycourogen)
Posts: 53
 

Take it from someone who blew up his whole family by gambling so much money away…I lost my wife, my kids and dog half of the time, our million dollar home. Most importantly my self-worth (literally and figuratively) and self-esteem. Give your fiancé complete control of your money.  If you love and trust her….trust her with it.  I sure wish I did.  I never gambled a day in my life until I was 40.  Over the next ten years gambling stole my soul and crushed my precious family.  Please don’t let this happen to you!!!!

take care,

Greg

 
Posted : 16th May 2022 11:58 pm
 GREG
(@gdiddycourogen)
Posts: 53
 

I am only in day 7 myself.  In betting the NBA playoffs, I turned $7 into $350 in two days….only to give it all back in the next 3 days.  Like everyone says…the only way not to lose in not to play.  I mean….didn’t I just say I chased my WINNINGS?  I never thought about it that way.  But if one chases wins AND losses…we know the math on that one!!!  That was the last time I go up the ladder only to come crashing down. I’m done with it!  I hate Las Vegas (where I first started) and I hate gambling!!!! 

 
Posted : 17th May 2022 12:08 am

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