ALL MY LIFE

Thanks for sharing your story. Gambling can make us very selfish. The fact you have made the post to encourage others means you are thinking of people other than your self which is a good thing.

Well done on taking steps to improve your life and the lives of your loved ones. It's never too late to start living a life without gambling. Yes it gives us pleasure - but at what cost? Is all the pain worth the entertainment?

I am 69 days gf and my life is so much better than 10 weeks ago. I've concluded I can live a life without gambling, I can see how it is possible.

Take each day at a time, each day make a vow not to gamble.

Take care.

Thanks tom for your words of kindness and encouragement.I didnt start to heal on my own i did it with the support and help from the people whod experienced the pain of this dreadful addiction. Alone im nothing but with people like you i grow stronger each day. I will take each day at a time and although i cant right the wrongs of the past i truly believe i become a better person every single GF day. The fact youve taken the time to respond to my post reminds me that theres so much more to life than living in a secluded gambling bubble detached from genuine people like yourself.

Best Wishes and Kind Regards

AL

Hi AL

Thank you for sharing your insights and your story. Also thank you for others who have shared their stories as well.

It is so very true that gambling, chasing after losses makes one so selfish and causes so much hurt to the people who love us. My life is an example too.

I am very lucky that my OH is very understanding and still believes in me after all the mess that I have created.

Wish you all the very best and lots of courage and strength in staying GF and living life the right way.

Many thanks for posting on my diary Alwalm. I appreciate your support and encouragement.

I was quite moved by something you wrote in an earlier post: "I will take each day at a time and although I can't right the wrongs of the past, I truly believe I will become a better person every single gamble free day." I think that sends out a great message.

Congratulations on your excellent progress, almost 3 months since your last bet. You are showing courage, common sense and have a great attitude towards your recovery.

Best wishes to your delightful, hard working and long suffering wife. She has been a real treasure throughout the ordeal and has continued showing you unconditional love, friendship and support.

Wishing you contentment, fun and happy days as you continue on your gamble free adventure...stephen

86 days GF Mrs in control of finances and im absolutely skint ( nothing new there cos ive been skint for 40 years while i gambled) but today im skint and happier. I need a haircut and had to ask the Mrs if she would leave me £10 for the barber in the morning before she goes to work. Of course she was happy to oblige. So whats different you may well ask. Well im allowed just what i need for daily expenses nothing more so im happy for the reason im skint which is NOT because i blew £500 yesterday on football and horse racing and another £500 trying to win it back today. Even now i know i couldnt be trusted with cash or credit cards even though ive done exclusion, I hear tales of people finding a way around it all the time and that scares me. So tommorow when i get back from the barbers ill look in the mirror ( no 1 back and sides no 2 on the top ) what ill see is an old man who looks a little bit tidier rather than the face of a b*m whos thrown hundreds of pounds of someone elses money away and dragged his family further into the cess pit where hes been for the last 40 years. Just remember no matter how bad the addiction is i can honestly say after every GF day i wake up so much happier than i did when i was constantly gambling.

WHAT AM I ?

Tonight i want you to ponder the question WHAT IS A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER. Sometimes its a person who plays a FOBT and loses everything they have. Convinced that big pay out is just around the corner they come back the next day then the next. Before you know it the FOBT has become the master and you become its slave.

A poker player who thinks everyone around them isnt as smart as they are until their 2 pairs turns out to be worthless as his opponent turns over a royal flush. Personally i was none of those things i was the one who was convinced i could bring Britains bookmakers to their knees with my knowledge of horse racing being such a leading expert on form.

Most people would wise up much sooner than us and give up but not CGs..The seed is now sewn and weve all bought a business class ticket to hell.This is where were on a journey of no return. My personal love was not FOBTs or poker but football and horse racing. Each to their own.

The FOBT pundits imagine themselves in some famous USA casino flying back with millions in the bank. The poker pundits imagine themselves in some international multi million pound poker tournament banking millions and all their financial problems are over.Me personallly i believed i was the one who would benefit from Frankie Dettori when he rode 7 winners at Ascot and it was going to happen all over again just for me.

Suddenly reality cicks in and we realise we were all dreaming and we decide its time to give up. IF ONLY by this time weve spent a fortune got into debt chasing a paper moon. The worse is yet to come because the casinos bookmakers FOBT operators have us in their pockets.

The stakes become bigger the lies become bigger still and were on a long lasting journey of self destruction and if thats not bad enough were taking our loved ones on the most dreadful ride thats almost impossible to jump off.

Each time were 1 number off the jackpot or weve got 20 in blackjack and the banker gets 21 through clever marketing the operators go PHEW you nearly wiped our profits out and we buy it.

Thats whats unique about CGs we swallow that c**P time and time again and continue to go back our belief of fantastic riches unyielding whilst the PHEWS spend hours calculating their vast profits and plan their next marketing strageties to shaft the next generation of young and impressionable young kids.

Its at this point where a slight glimpse of reality raises its ugly head and it becomes blatantly obvious that not only will we ever achieve these none existing riches but were simply just trying to get back the thousands of pounds weve given to greedy operators whilst robbing everyone dear to us of their future and quality of life.

Im no psychologist so i dont know how CGs developed this design fault ( and it is a design fault because many folk less intelligent than ourselves would have given up chasing the dream long before us ) but wouldnt it be wonderful if a brain surgeon could scan our brains, identify the faulty circuit board and simply replace it on the NHS. Wonder how long the waiting list would be.

Stay Strong

AL

Very true Al,

Something very liberating about both self exclusion and not having access to cash and credit.

There is evidence that brain injury is a indicator for addiction. My dad was a compulsive gambler and told me he was attacked and struck in the head as a teenager. I fell from a 2nd floor window as an 18th month baby and fractured my skull. I too have lost everything through compulsive gambling. Maybe i'm just trying to find an excuse for being irresponsible?

Hi K2 & Canterbury,

Thank you both for your posts.Whatever makes a CG lets take comfort from the fact there is a cure for our addiction and by supporting and gaining strength from each other we can beat this. Sincere & best wishes to you both in your recovery.

Kind Regards

AL

How old are you sir?

Stay strong and GF

Hi Myfreedom

In answer to your question im 63

Hi alwalm! I always had a feeling i was getting too old for this nonsense - illness actually and i needed to treat it, even though most people around casinos i gambled in were always older than me. It's never too late and you took a good decision. Dont have hard feelings or regrets sir whats done is done. Enoy life Sir at its fullest ...gambling took enough from us we deserve better.

Have a great day!

Hi Myfreedom,

Thanks for your kind words of support.Of course i regret gambling so long and not seeking help long ago but now i want to concentrate on the things i can change rather than the things i cant. My kids are grown up now and im so proud of them. Because of my addiction i didnt give them the attention they deserved when they were younger and now they are parents themselves. Right now as my recovery gets easier i try and spend as much time with my grandchildren as possible and hopefully become a better grand parent than i was a parent.

Once again thanks for your kind words of support and i wish you well with your recovery.

Kind Regards

AL

Hi alwalm

I am very glad that you are commited to doing this. I am sure you will be a great grandfather. Without the stress and all one has to go as a compulsive gambler, life becomes so much easier as everyday passes, not sure about when years pass without the disease. The most I stood clean was 11 months, i was the happiest guy in the world, when i passed by casinos or betting shops whatever i used to spit on the street right in front of them. Honestly. I think i did that without even thinking much, thats how much i hated them and loved my life so much. I even bough a house that year and my businesses were doing so well, my gf atm was great, everything turned better. I am only 62 days gamble free at the moment, this summer was a mess. I never had enough money to do anything i wanted because i fed the machines. Anyhow now im back on track working again and things are going the right way. I am looking forward to a gamble free life not just days months , years.. forever free! I wish this to all the nice members of this community. Your grandchildren and everybody that loves you will be very proud of you!

Kind Regards

MF