Had recently went 7 weeks gambling free, felt great was reaching territories i had never been before trying to get clean from gambling. Alls it took was 1 mishap and the disease had took over me again, unreal how quick it all comes back. I cant explain how crappy gambling makes me feel but for some reason i continue to do so. Over the 7 weeks i had saved up a nice amount of money to blow it all in 2 weeks. If anything it tells me iv done it for 7 weeks before i can do it again plus some. My family know iv had gambling problems before and i continue to lie whilst still betting when i can. Im hoping from now i can beat this disease, nothing is impossible when you put the mind too it.
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time with it. Remember to have the controls in place if you can, like Gamstop and ban of gambling transactions through bank. They are so important for stopping you in your tracks if you feel an urge.
Could you be honest with anyone about the relapse? It may be very difficult but it could be the key to preventing more carnage and being accountable to those you’ve lied to. It could go a long way to help make amends.
I know you can do this. Keep your chin up and forgive yourself for this relapse but make sure that you put measures in place to stop it happening again.
good luck on your journey
Hi cpb
The fact that you are talking about it and on this site are great steps forward.
However you have to realise and work on the knowledge that this addiction will bide its time and lull you into a false sense of security.
You have to build on the strong foundations that gambling is simply highly dangerous and something you must not and can not do. You cant really do this alone. Ideally you need a support network who will swing measures into place based on your feelings.
You should be talking to them and us regularly about how you feel about gambling.
The gaps are not ultimately a sign of control. when I was gambling I could have long gaps if i was working away for example...perhaps I was showing the symptoms of binge gambling but its a progressive illness and I ended up gambling regularly and every time I had been paid. When I didnt have any money I didn't gamble and that was the only real regulator. I was confused and mistook any gaps as a sign of willpower
Those signs of control come over a very long period when you can genuinely say the urges to gamble are truly fading away. When you've had a true born again moment and finally know that gambling is just pain.
When you talk to people and are proud to give them reports..all your savings should be protected
When you know that this is a lifetime of non complacency but that is a positive statement not a sign of weakness.
It took me 10 months after joining to even start recovery properly. I was even advising people!! Can you believe that? I would say the shame of it but I was addicted and very confused...not really my fault in that sense.
Somebody told me to shape up and I got very angry with them. I thank that person from the bottom of my heart now because I needed shaking out of my deluded comfort zone
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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