3rd and last relapse

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4th time lucky
(@4th-time-lucky)
Posts: 34
Topic starter
 

Been a while since I posted on here, so I thought write a post. I logged on this morning to see that I’m 40 days gamble free, and it feels amazing. I really feel my life is beginning to get back on track, I’m working well with my counsellor and I’ve made lots of positive changes in my life, the big one being a career change! My current job allows me too much free time and too much freedom. Two things I realise are not good at all for my gambling. The biggest piece of advice I can give anyone would be to really analyse your life and the things that make you happy and the things that don’t. Gambling is definitely one that doesn’t make anyone happy, which is why we’re all here. Look at causes for your gambling and really make the changes. It’s not easy, but if you recognise you have a problem, you need to recognise what causes the problem and you need to make the changes. If you really want to stop this, you have to put everything into it. I feel so much better and more rewarded for doing so. I’m no expert, but I’ve been here enough times and I feel I’m doing the right things this time and I hope to continue doing so! I hope everyone has a productive, gamble free day...

 
Posted : 12th December 2018 8:41 am
Freeee
(@freeee)
Posts: 118
 

4th time lucky wrote:

Been a while since I posted on here, so I thought write a post. I logged on this morning to see that I’m 40 days gamble free, and it feels amazing. I really feel my life is beginning to get back on track, I’m working well with my counsellor and I’ve made lots of positive changes in my life, the big one being a career change! My current job allows me too much free time and too much freedom. Two things I realise are not good at all for my gambling. The biggest piece of advice I can give anyone would be to really analyse your life and the things that make you happy and the things that don’t. Gambling is definitely one that doesn’t make anyone happy, which is why we’re all here. Look at causes for your gambling and really make the changes. It’s not easy, but if you recognise you have a problem, you need to recognise what causes the problem and you need to make the changes. If you really want to stop this, you have to put everything into it. I feel so much better and more rewarded for doing so. I’m no expert, but I’ve been here enough times and I feel I’m doing the right things this time and I hope to continue doing so! I hope everyone has a productive, gamble free day...

Well done you! We’re about the same days gamble free and I too feel exactly the same, it’s like a huge ball and chain has been removed, and bonus.... I have some money to spend on myself! Selfish maybe but I’ve not been able to buy myself any new clothes or things I really need because I’ve literally been skint... well done us and a very happy Christmas! Kaz xx

 
Posted : 21st December 2018 10:09 am
4th time lucky
(@4th-time-lucky)
Posts: 34
Topic starter
 

Proud of you Kaz! I hope you’ve had a positive and gamble free Christmas.. you shouldn’t feel bad for spending your money. We’ve not been free to spend our hard earned money for years, we deserve to do so now. Here’s to a gamble free 2019 and spending our hard earned money on the things we deserve to have and the things that make us happy. Not on something that will ultimately be the death of us!!! Good luck xx

 
Posted : 28th December 2018 10:19 pm
4th time lucky
(@4th-time-lucky)
Posts: 34
Topic starter
 

Hi All, thought I’d check in as it’s been a while! Sorry for my lack of posts.... I started a new job just after Christmas and it’s been absolutely crazy since! I thought I’d post now as I’ve passed my 90 day mark, today being 91 days and Jesus does it feel good to be gamble free.

I am still seeing my counsellor once a week which is a great reminder for me to not go back to that hell that was gambling!

If you’re new to this site, well done for making the first steps to a gamble free life. If you need a chat, I’ll be here whenever I can. Even though I haven’t posted recently, I’ve been checking in regularly and reading other people’s stories, it can be really inspiring. I know from previous experience that it is important not to get complacent so I will keep doing what I’m doing to remain gamble free!

Hope everyone has a fantastic, happy and GF weekend. Good luck x

 
Posted : 1st February 2019 5:22 pm
urgh
 urgh
(@urgh)
Posts: 201
 

Congrats! You are right about the complacency thing. Most I ever done was 9 months and after that amount of time I would maybe think about gambling every several days so I know it will get better for you! So the longer you go, the less you think about it. Remember complacency is very easy, keep on guard!

Unfortunately I am not in the best place right now. I wish you all the best.

 
Posted : 1st February 2019 5:58 pm
4th time lucky
(@4th-time-lucky)
Posts: 34
Topic starter
 

Sorry to hear you’re not in the best place, can I help at all? Talking about your problems is always good. I’ve struggled through many bad periods on my own, but with the help and support of others I’m in a much better place now. Give me a shout, I’m free to listen!

 
Posted : 2nd February 2019 10:14 am
4th time lucky
(@4th-time-lucky)
Posts: 34
Topic starter
 

Today is my 100th day GF and I’m so greatful for that. My life is so much better now that gambling is not part of it. I know that complacency is the biggest danger, so I’m going to continue what I’m doing. Counselling, reading and posting on these blogs and continuing to better myself. Talking about the way you feel is hard, but it’s the best thing to do. I hope everyone has had a gamble free weekend!!

 
Posted : 10th February 2019 9:03 pm
Freeee
(@freeee)
Posts: 118
 

4th time lucky wrote:

Today is my 100th day GF and I’m so greatful for that. My life is so much better now that gambling is not part of it. I know that complacency is the biggest danger, so I’m going to continue what I’m doing. Counselling, reading and posting on these blogs and continuing to better myself. Talking about the way you feel is hard, but it’s the best thing to do. I hope everyone has had a gamble free weekend!!

Well done you!! Such an achievement, I hope there were more ups tha downs :)) Kaz xxx

 
Posted : 23rd February 2019 1:38 pm
4th time lucky
(@4th-time-lucky)
Posts: 34
Topic starter
 

Hi All, just wanted to give everyone a heads up, it’s been a crazy few months! 

I am 224 days gamble free, something I didn’t think I would say 12 months ago. I have been able to save during this time and me and my girlfriend have finally managed to buy a house, something we have dreamt of for years. But not been able to do because of my gambling. I know I haven’t beaten this bas***d disease and I know I never will. But providing I avoid that first bet I know I’ll be fine. 

I’m still seeing a counsellor once a week and it’s amazing. He’s so helpful and really given me practical things to put in place. The biggest difference to my life is that I’m watching far less sport. I’m still very much into my football, but I won’t watch a single minute of tennis as I know this is very dangerous for me. 8 months ago I couldn’t live without watching tennis, now the thought of watching it scares me to death!!

If your new to this site, keep your head high, take everyday as it comes and put everything in place that physically stops you gambling. Take the advice from others on here and before you know it you’ll be gf and living a better life. 

Gambling does not make us happy, it tricks us into believe it does. But it definitely doesn’t!! 

Good luck 

 
Posted : 14th June 2019 6:47 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1696
 

Hi

For me the recovery program works like mountain climbers tied together with ropes who find safe and secure ways of learning and finding new skills in living a healthier life today.

The recovery was not going to stop me gambling, that had to be my own conscious choice.

The recovery was going to help me understand each of my emotional triggers.

The healthy people in the recovery program was going to help me and nurture me in to exchanging unhealthy habits in to healthy habits, in my work time, in my want time, and in my family time.

The simple sad fact that when we walk in to the recovery program we have already been survivors, we have already understood by our guilt and remorse we have gone against our own conscience, we have gone against our instincts and said and done things that were very unhealthy to us and to other people.

I am a non religious person and yet I have achieved so much that at one time I thought was impossible.

I am able to be more stable and more at peace with in myself and with other people.

The pains of my past caused fears in me that I did not understand or even know about.

Am I willing to be completely selfish in becoming healthy.

My addictions and obsessions were just symptoms that I was an unhealthy person.

My addictions and obsessions were just symptoms that I was an emotionally vulnerable person.

Until I am admitted to myself that I was unhealthy no one could help me help myself.

I have gone back to gambling many many times, each time I went back was a lesson I was willing to learn from.

The recovery program was a manual to mature healthy spiritual living.

I am a non religious person.

If I can heal any one can, if I can live my life with out fears any one can, if I can live my life with out being angry any one can, if I can live my with no emotional ties to gambling any one can.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

 

 

 
Posted : 14th June 2019 10:56 am
Joenorris94
(@joenorris94)
Posts: 13
 

I logged in to write a post about me relapsing and I have seen yours, we can both take solace knowing we're not the only ones who relapse, I am sat in my car outside the bookies, I just snapped and went in after being gamble free for the past 40 days, I have just blown all of my money, emptied the bank. I am disgusted with myself, I had to take a £18000 bank loan out to consolidate my debts and I'm struggling with it, I shouldn't have blown all of my money but here I am.

 

Not asking for sympathy or someone to tell me everything will all be okay, just looking to vent the frustration I have for myself 

 
Posted : 16th June 2019 10:22 am
4th time lucky
(@4th-time-lucky)
Posts: 34
Topic starter
 

Morning all...

Sorry for lack of posts, life is still busy. I just wanted to drop in as I’ve just got to a year GF (371 days now).. I can’t believe it. It’s been a crazy year, I started a new job, I’ve bought my first house with my partner, I’ve saved money, I’ve spent money (on the write things), I’ve enjoyed life and most of all, I’m happy in myself. I am able to say all of these things now because gambling is no long a part of my life. It’s important to realise that if gambling was and still is part of your life, you will find it very difficult to say anything of these things. I certainly wouldn’t of been able to if I was still in the trap that is gambling. Gambling only takes from your life, it brings nothing but pain, misery and loneliness. It isolates you from everyone and it leaves you with nothing. However, the main aim of my post today is to show that if you are struggling, if you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, I am proof that there is! I know I still have to keep my guard up and I know a year isn’t a long time, but for me it’s an achievement and a huge step in the right direction. In just a year my life has dramatically changed for the better and if you do the right things, yours can too! Surround yourself with people that love and care for you. Give someone control of your finances, my dad still checks my bank account and my partner goes through every receipt I have weekly, I have to account for every penny I spend and I’m glad that I am able to do so with nothing to hide. Seek the right help, talk to others, I’m still seeing my counsellor almost every week (and have done for a year). Block every avenue that would allow you to gamble (gamblock, self exclusions etc). Fill your time with other things that bring joy to your life. Don’t give up, there can always be a future, no matter what stage of life you’re at. Most of all, take each day as it comes. One day at a time.. if I was to look a year down the line, it wouldn’t be possible. But to wake up every day and tell yourself you won’t gamble today, is more than manageable. I’ve done that, every day, for 371 days. I will continue to take it one day at a time... good luck and please reply if you have questions, I am not perfect and I definitely haven’t beaten this (that will take me a lifetime) however I am moving in the right direction and will continue to do so! 

 
Posted : 8th November 2019 8:08 am
No problem
(@no-problem)
Posts: 151
 

Hey folks. Call the self exclusion team they are great. Do it all over the phone and you can self exclude from as many bookies as you want. I have made a post with the number in the title. Dont give the bookies another penny of your money. Imagine them worried and panicking about finances. It's working for me so far. Self excluded from over 60 outlets. I also barred myself from every uk casino. And as for online gambling use gamstop. If you really want to quit you will. You have to leave no stone unturned though. It's time the bookies felt the pain that us gamblers feel and have felt. 

This post was modified 4 years ago by No problem
This post was modified 4 years ago by Forum admin
 
Posted : 9th November 2019 1:26 pm
No problem
(@no-problem)
Posts: 151
 

The number for self excluding is 0800 294 2060. Really helpful and friendly. 

 
Posted : 9th November 2019 1:28 pm
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