Held out for a long time after practicing what I preached but over one crazy weekend, it’s gone.
Was out in Ireland for the weekend with my best friend of 25 years for a drink-up and hitting the bars this weekend... The next morning walked past a bookies and the next 48 hours seen £1500 lost just like that.
The lies and deceit of borrowing money from Mum and Dad are back. Not cool at all, felt awful about it.
Feeling a bit better now after reading up on forums where this happens but to be real with myself in that; a relapse is okay, the progress can be made again but understand clearly that gambling is never the answer.
I stopped when I did because in truth I ran out of money. It was not worth it, but we go again with recovery.
I have blocks in place - debit card restrictions to only withdraw £100 a day, GamStop activated for life, debit card gambling restrictions.
The way I managed to withdraw so much in a day was lying to the bank’s customer service saying I need to withdraw £1000 in a day due to paying rent? Silly really. It was after I lost my £100 withdrawable amount initially and it spiralled, like every compulsive relapse goes.
My mum and dad said they want the money back no matter how slow, which is great and very reasonable. The answer is not to gamble I know... Immediately after getting the money a part of me (addicted compulsive part) wanted to throw £1000 at a football match to pay them back, but it would end in misery one way or another.
Really do not want to be posting here again in a year with the similar story of a relapse... Nor do I want any more thoughts of actually placing a bet now I have the money lost back into my account (I was overdrawn due my loss)...
I welcome any thoughts guys and thank you for reading.
Yes, stop it before you start!
Realize that you can not trust your mind and as it is hijacked atm you will get more urges that you will need to deal with. We have a tendency to test our limits of sanity because we believe so much in our own movie that we don't realize that we are in our own bubble of fantasy only to come back out again to reality when all is lost and we find hell. That is the most dangerous part of being an addict because that is where ideas of suicide are hatched. You don't need to go there at all. Just be mindful. Understand who you are how and why you tick. Have a holistic approach to yourself now and again just to keep tabs on where you are. When you manage that you will have a tool that can get you beyond any relapse and you will be much better equipped to handle your day.
You can do it. You have already proven yourself so just keep going!
I am glad you came back before any more serious damage could be done, c43h has some sound advice above. This all reminds me of my most recent gambling trip ups along my recovery. After 7 months of not gambling and little support I ending up gambling a 1000 loan and maybe some on my weekly wages around my birthday last year only to turn around and tell me girlfriend what I had done and had to use Gamstop.
Then 119 days later I gambled again via trading and lost approximately £250 and stopping sooner helped me prevent further damage more so to my mind than financial position and if I had continued it would of hurt massively financially my mind didn’t want to be in a trance of stupidity looking at charts or slot reels or what ever you’re fix. My mind just wanted to let go of it because I new there were more investing and better things to do with my time.
the squeeze of responsibility can become stronger than the addiction while on the road to recovery which makes things easier but not to be complacent that the addiction is still with us. I some times wonder if the 2 wolves theory plays a part in are mind in regards to gambling.
I guess it all comes down to if you want recovery or not and after a relapse we realise we bloody need recovery otherwise it’s a downward spiral into the abyss and beyond.
As hard as it is to comprehend. Those 320 odd days are gone now. That’s how it feels. Like a waste. Tomorrow is day 1 again. But just think of the money you saved over nearly a year. And today yes, you will feel like you failed but you haven’t. Takes a strong person to get past day 1 or 5 never mind 322. Go again and tell yourself this is the beginning of the rest of your life. Well done on lasting so long I’m proud of you
Don't dwell too much on your mistake. You took a chance which at the time seemed feasible, but it didn't turn out as hoped.
It was chancy though and that's what you have to rationalise in future. There are thousands of gambling opportunities but they all represent a big risk. You have to retrain your mind to judge the risk on its merits and when the temptation presents itself in the future just say to yourself, "do I want to buy a risk or save a certainty."
Your parents have helped you out, but don't try and win back their loan with gambling. Imagine how hard that conversation will be!
Don't live in the past obsessing about 323 days and how you were doing well etc. That's gone. Just focus on today. That's the only day you have control over.
Hey guys. Support on here has been phenomenal. Thank you all. Thoughts are very up and down at present. I have had to pay some unexpected car repairs to add to my woes which was £770 yesterday... Now overdrawn AGAIN.
Feeling so tired and mentally drained via the fact I applied for loans yesterday and not got approval for any that I had applied for to ‘cover’ the financial damage over the past week. I guess this is part of the story, the aftermath of gambling is never pretty and other costs always come up, typical. It is supposed to drain you with remorse pouring out of your body. It’s the way it goes.
I know parents have helped but I am again in my overdraft and need £1k to restore my position from red to green.
I have made the mistake of applying for multiple loans/credit cards and now I am certain ALL will decline despite being pre-approved (as CRA’s all speak to each other). If this happens I will have no other choice but to go for a stupidly high guarantor loan OR borrow from my mrs (9th time or so since being married 7 years ago?!)
I will let u know how this all unfolds, but awaiting 2 pre-approved decisions between Monday-Friday but as I say holding no hope as they will see how desperate I am for cash!
Any further advice is welcome and sorry to be such a drama, it’s the way it is right now!!!
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