After 2 years of not gambling I was stupid enough to try again tonight. I started small, 30 deposit then 50 then a couple of hundreds. £450 altogether. I could have easily have kept going. In the old days I did £8k in one night. Twice ?. I haven’t kept up with this forum in a long time but just as I was about to make my next deposit, I thought I’d post on here instead. I thought I was done with this. Do you think I have ruined all what I have done? Or Maybe I can wake up in the morning and remember why I stopped. Sorry for bothering you all. It’s like I have forgotten about this place when I thought I didn’t need it but as soon as I need to talk to someone I come crawling back
You craved the feeling of that lottery big win so you relapsed. You should know by now that the money could have been used spent in other things literally better than gambling. You have reactivated the feelings of gambling and that is not safe, which is why you continued and tried to win it back. You should not have feelings of gambling, avoid it, leave it. I know it sounds cold but it is literally like a person or a leech you know that takes your money and leaves you with temporary satisfaction and then you realized that you are slow getting drained of your life-force until you get rid of it out of your life.
You have improved but know you should never touch gambling as you can develop feelings for it again. Its a hate/love relationship, like a bad lover but without the intimate. Dont crawl back to him/her.
Hello Wishicouldstop
It is good to have you back on the Forum to share your experience, strength and hope. You have shown just how powerful problem gambling is and how easy it is to become complacent. Please do not be too discouraged as you did manage over 2 years gamble free and can get back on track once again.
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Best
Amanda
Forum Admin
Hi, you seem very similar to me. I have realised that for me, just hearing about other people winning a bet triggers me. I dont even realised it at the time but the more I think about my latest relapse I have realised it all started from hearing about a man in my husbands work who won ‘100k on a scratch card’. The big win always appeals to me and just hearing of their people winning makes me want a piece of the action.
Honestly form your post I just see a lot of growth-you spent 450 but that easily could have been thousands. You have used your support network and reached out. Let the loss go and move on….a win could have been more dangerous. Put blocks on you online bank accounts in settings-it’s so easy and effective.
good luck for the future!!
Thanks Meg. That was a nice and convincing message to read and think it’s what I needed. Your right, it could have been so much worse
Here's a saying I like: It's never too late to do the right thing.
Just because you had a relapse doesn't mean you're doomed. Keep the faith and keep trying to avoid gambling going forward.
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