This is not a situation I thought I’d be in today, I am 60 days gamble free today (after being an addict for 11 years) which was a huge achievement for me. It took a lot for me to get here and I’ve managed to fill the voids in my life with some new hobbies and healthier exciting things.
For the last 50 days I have been lucky to not have any gambling urges at all and staying away from gambling has felt easy. I was really looking forward to reaching 2 months and I felt proud and I was going to treat myself to something nice.
However yesterday was my birthday and it was an awful day, 2 family members one being my mum made my day so horrible and caused arguments with me and my mum told me she hated me. This led me to spiral down and then I find myself on gambling sites debating on a gamble.
Last night I managed to call gamcare in tears and managed to not gamble, but I’ve woken today with some difficult and hurt feelings and I’m finding myself again staring at the screen of gambling sites debating on gambling to block out my feelings.
I REALLY do not want to go back there. I don’t want to start back to day 1 again but I feel like I will end up giving in.
Hi Lola,
I suscribed in here as I really wanted to reply on your post.There is such a resemblance in our gambling history(11years of gambling,53days GF)...with the difference that I failled yesterday...so today I start with day 1again.I’m feeling awful as being gambling free was really deliberating.So please stay focus on your goal to not gamble-as if you do so not only that wont resolve your current issues,but you will feel much worse.
All the best?
Hi Lola as the above poster said you will regret it. Stay strong I understand how hard it is for you, nothing good will come of gambling. I used to gamble if my husband was horrible then it carried on escalating from there. You know what on times he's still horrible but my self esteem is better and I use how I feel into not gambling , sometimes I think he's waiting for me to fail.....I won't I have strong barriers talk about how I feel in GA and use it to make me stronger. Gambling is evil and not the answer you feel wretched because of your mum, and I'm really sorry about that. But any relief by getting gambling fix will be shortlived( that's what it is a fix) ring the helpline again instead talk it through. You are doing really good don't put yourself back to square one
Congratulations Lola on 60 days gamble free.
The addiction will be trying its best to get at you again and might even be telling you that gambling is your friend or that you deserve to reward yourself by gambling.
Please don't listen to it because deep down you know it is a load of nonsense and you are just being taunted by an insidious addiction.
Tomorrow is another day and you will be relieved that you didn't give in.
There will be ups and downs but you are now sixty days into a wonderful journey to rediscover your life and gamcare friends are here to walk side-by-side with you.
Respect and best wishes
From
Stephen x
Wow im also 60 days gamble free
Well done lola have you got blocks in place to resist urges ? Gamstop has been a great help for me
Welldone on picking up phone to gamcare and visiting the site for support
Xlou
Hi Lola, well done on 60 days GF, that's an amazing achievement. Well done also on calling out for help on here and to advisors in your time of need, I hope you've drawn strength from the friendly / positive posts that you are getting in response to your note. If you haven't already done so then I'd recommend you putting blocks such as GamStop in place, these things are helpful but I'm sure you already know that! I wish you all the very best.
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