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one month today but scared

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#1 Posted on:
Sun, 15/04/2018 - 14:20

valdab

Joined:
2018-03-10

Hello all, well its one month today since I had my last blow out on the online slots losing thousands. The urge is getting less and less and I seem to be more focused on cutting down my debt as soon as I can. I think this is the main reason why Im not gambling...I simply cant afford to. But the worrying thing for me is that Ive been here before..in fact several times before. Once the credit card debt is cleared and I've built up some saving again, that is the time that I tend to fall again. I somehow forget all the pain and misery that the gambling brings...right now I feel like I never want to be in this situation again. BUT...like I said I am afraid that once this debt crisis has eased, the pain is soon forgotton and I will do it all over again. Any help or tips greatly appreciated to ensure I dont end up back to square one again. I have self excluded and have a block on my PC.Thanks

 

Posted on:
Tue, 17/04/2018 - 22:29

wittle71

Joined:
2018-04-17

I know what you mean . That gutted feeling wears off so you let you're guard down. Write down how you feel when you've lost money. How bad it is for months . Once you feel like gambling again read it and hopefully it'll give you that feeling back again .

Posted on:
Thu, 19/04/2018 - 16:05

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi Valdab,

Congratulations on your abstinence for one month!

Well tried, and it seems like you’ve taken a step in the right direction by applying numerous strategies. The strategies that you’re applying seems to be yielding expected results, so keep going.

Just to make you aware that the urge will always be there but, it’s what you put in place to help distract you from responding is what matters and also important. Try to be strict with yourself; perhaps allow those close to you and whom you trust to look after your finances for you for a while, and until such time you feel well recovered to manage your finances again.

How about putting your money in time saving account so you can’t just withdraw easily?

Since you’ve been able to abstain before shows you that you can repeat the process, and maybe keep it there with effort and hard work.

How about finding out of more help options by getting in touch with our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133 for further help and support?

Thanks again for sharing your story, and please keep posting!

Kind regards,

Beatrice

Posted on:
Fri, 20/04/2018 - 22:20

Bryan

Joined:
2017-12-24

Thanks for your kind words on the other thread . I’m no different than anyone else here no better or worse . Ok the money total is different for each person and the ability to earn it the normal way , but strip it all down and we are all the same .You are very active on this site which is a massive positive for you . One of the most difficult things to do at the start is to admit your problems. Then you can air your feelings and try and help others if you think you can . One of the traits of a gambler is selfishness and I think this site and other forms of suport help to eradicate that . By helping others you can help yourself . Keep posting and I’m humbled that people like yourself can relate to what I post and can use some of the practical advice . Personally making that choice to stop has been a life changer and I’m not underestimating that . If you ever have time to read my diary you can see how far my mindset has come . You are creating your own story and I will follow your progress with interest . Keep doing what you are doing it seems to be working ! 

Posted on:
Sat, 21/04/2018 - 10:09

Onepunchjamoo

Joined:
2018-03-23

I think the best thing you can do is to keep busy. With the weather being hot this week I've barely touched my phone or thought about gambling. Find something you enjoy or like to do, learn so new, keep yourself so busy that you only have time to do these things then sleep and in time you'll probably forget about gambling, maybe.

Posted on:
Sun, 22/04/2018 - 18:21

valdab

Joined:
2018-03-10

Coming on here regularly definately helps me enormously Bryan...even to read back over what I wrote when I came on here first. Its a great way to bring back up those aweful feelings and total despair...a reminder of how terrbile I felt after the last big binge gamble. Those feeling subside very quickly...and its actually a good thing to have stuff written here so that I can remind myself and hopefully these daily reminders will be helpful to keep me on track. I am seeing more and more stories and documentaries on TV about the secret online gambling world and how its a huge unnoticed problem lurking in society. Im delighted that this is being exposed and hopefully it might lead to more awareness and legislation to help prevent people ruining their lives in a few minutes with the ease of online deposits etc. 

Coming on here and also reading others stories is a great help. And I find myself having so much empathy for others on here...that I actually spend less time on self pity and more time thinking about others. 5 weeks since my last bet and very much looking forward to payday next week to knock some more off my credit card. I have watched every penny this month and that has been a lesson in itself. I am amazed even in the supermarket...how much you can actually save if you pay attention to what you are buying....something I have never done before. Feeling good, feeling in control at the moment. I had a 2 second moment yesterday where it crossed my mind to play the slots...it was a fleeting moment...lasted only a few seconds of thought. This is a huge improvement for me. Previously I would have spent the whole day convincing myslef it was ok and justifying why it would be ok to have a flutter! 

Posted on:
Sun, 22/04/2018 - 18:28

Emptyp2

Joined:
2018-03-11

Hi Val. Those debts will soon be gone and you will soon have some savings again. 

Good luck with being GF. 

Sammy 

Posted on:
Sun, 22/04/2018 - 18:58

valdab

Joined:
2018-03-10

Thanks Emptyp2...I have just read through your posts and congrats to you too...you seem to be doing really well. Itsnt it amazing how in the space of a few short weeks or months things really do get better. Finances get better...our outlook gets better...once we have drawn that line under gambling. 2 more paychecks and 2 more months of frugality and I should also be back on track and ready to save again. Thats whats keeping me going at the moment...seeing that it is all within reach. Well done Sammy...keep strong

Posted on:
Sun, 22/04/2018 - 19:52

Emptyp2

Joined:
2018-03-11

You can do it valdab I can see from your posts what a really great person you are and you have such a great perspective. I'm like you ms frugal and its all coming together nicely . I'm still smoking which isnt great but have switched to roll ups :-) lol

x

Posted on:
Sun, 22/04/2018 - 20:57

valdab

Joined:
2018-03-10

Emptyp2...thank you so much. You have no idea how much your words mean to me...to read your words about being a great person and having great perspective. You have lifted my spirits no end. Gambling and the secrecy of it has turned me into a shell of the person I used to be It has lead me to become so low internally and not liking myself very much. It led me to isolate even more from family and friends...because when you feel your self worth is so low then you dont even see the point in being around peope. Thats what gambling does to you.But I know there is a lot of goodness in me! and its just so lovely for someone to recognise that.Thanks for giving me the boost to start the next week with extra gusto! X....PS..roll ups better but we must stop smoking..very soon!
 

Posted on:
Sun, 22/04/2018 - 21:21

Emptyp2

Joined:
2018-03-11

Hope you have a great week  - You really deserve it . 

We got this :-)

Posted on:
Thu, 26/04/2018 - 20:46

valdab

Joined:
2018-03-10

Payday today...gutted to see over half my salary going directly to paying off the gambling debt I racked up since Christmas. Trying to count my blessings as Im another closer and can see the credit card debt diminishing. It is still sickening though...and a reminder of the several times I threw a whole months salary away within hours...a month to earn it...a few hours to lose it. Thats the nature of the beast. Am dreaming up ways of entertaining myself cheaply for the next month..at least the weather will be getting better so no excuse to not avail of free fresh air and do some excercise! Will try to keep myself busy and live frugally. I will get there...soon!

Posted on:
Thu, 26/04/2018 - 21:32

Annabelle1967

Joined:
2018-04-25

Well done valdab on a month GF.  Awesome.  So many times I have wished I could bottle that horrid, gut wrenching feeling after losing a months wages in an hour or two to remind myself how awful this addiction is.  Keep doing what you are doing and focus on the amazing progress in reducing those debts - great job :) 

I am 2 days GF (this time) - the difference is that I REALLY intend to change my life for good.  Each time I have had the urge to log on and spin I have gone and done something productive - even if it was just walking round the block, listening to the birds and noticing the beautiful things in life.  I keep giving myself little reality checks.

Stay strong and keep it up.