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#1 Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 12:57

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

 

Hi all,

 

I am a CG. I have been gambling, mostly online, since the age of 18. (I am now 37)

I lost £80 today, which is the final straw for me. I lost £220 last week. 

I did manage to stop gambling for a over a year, by keeping a journal of my progress, but even now that doesn’t work and I have slipped back into gambling again.

My vice is online slots. I cannot stop at £20, if I lose that I have to keep making small deposits until I claw it back, and very rarely do.

Over the course of the last 3 years I have lost almost £2,000, and I just cannot afford to keep gambling. This first entry online will hopefully be the start of a gamble free life. 

Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 13:36

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Well done on starting a diary it will help and you've done a year before so you can go over that again. Good luck we'll all support you where we can

Wilsy

Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 16:12

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

 

Thank you, especially for the recommendation for the mobile app to stop me gambling. I’ve hidden it in other folders on my phone to prevent me from accidentally deleting it.

Hoping that as of 12 pm today (now 4 hours gamble free) that this will be the start on the road to a permanent recovery!

 

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 12:54

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 1

Well, I’ve hit the first milestone in my journey. 24 hours.

I’ve installed gamblock on my phone and it seems to work (for the most part, it doesn’t seem to block all gambling sites after I tested it thoroughly)

I will be making entries in here as much as I can to keep everyone up to date with my story.

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 13:33

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Nice one, nice and easy does it

Wilsy

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 15:39

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Well done buddy - good on you for starting the diary and I sincerely wish you well. I am desperate to stop too. I know from my own experience how bad this affects you and want to offer my support.

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 18:17

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Well into my second day GF now. Trying to keep busy and not think about my recent losses but it’s hard when payday is still over a week away and I’m stoney broke.

I get bored really easily and that’s my trigger to start again, my wife is really supportive of me but she’s not always around and it’s mostly when I’m alone that I’m tempted. Having no money to gamble with does help... I have a massive credit card debt (not through gambling, thankfully) and my aim is to put every spare penny I have into paying bits of that off.

First milestone again is a week. I’m 2 days towards that target.

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 18:37

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Keep at it. Stick some headphones in and go for a walk in the fresh air. Doesn't have to cost money to fill your time =)

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 13:29

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 5 now and still going strong. Not even remotely tempted. Away to a gig tonight in a different city so hopefully that’ll keep my mind off of it. I’ve kept a diary offline before and that worked to a point but having the support of everyone else here on the road to recovery is very encouraging.

One day at a time.

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 13:58

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Good on you CG, keep up the effort and keep updating us. I take huge inspiration from all of the recovering addicts on here and want to help with support where i can. 

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 10:37

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

 

burko26 wrote:
 

Good on you CG, keep up the effort and keep updating us. I take huge inspiration from all of the recovering addicts on here and want to help with support where i can. 

Thanks very much, it’ll be a week tomorrow since I last did it. Wishing you well in your recovery too. 

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 13:40

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hope you enjoyed your gig last night and congratualtions on being a week gamble free tomorrow, keep up the fight, you are doing well.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 14:01

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

A week GF now. It’s tougher when you have no money, still a few days away from payday and I’m trying to stay strong but it is so difficult. Trying to keep busy at work and at home to prevent myself doing it - I always find the first couple of weeks the toughest to around a month, always seem to relapse after three months though. This time it’s not going to happen. If I’m tempted, I’m going to use the money I would have used for gambling to pay back my credit cards. I need something else to fill this void though, something that will not result in me losing any more money. I’ve tried to take up the guitar but lost interest. Anyone got any suggestions as to what else is out there and especially people who have beaten the habit - I know there is no quick fix but I’m really trying hard!!

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 14:10

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

During the winter and evenings mate, box sets, more box sets and then more box sets, especially if you don't have the energy to exercise or go out. Congrats on a ful week now

Wilsy

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 16:19

Jayjam

Joined:
2017-08-09

Congratulations on the week, great milestone to hit. I'm a couple of days behind you so continue to stride out in front : ) In terms of your question, 'how to fill the void', I am certainly understanding you loud and clear here. A couple of things that I have done is, read a book, book a game of Badminton and gone swimming. Not sure if any of thos will tickle your pickle but I agree boredom is a ****** to get rid of! Good job so far : )

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 22:04

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Thanks jay and wilsy.

Day 9 now and been trying to keep busy by doing other things. Went to a friends today and had a good laugh with some other people. I will admit I did look at some YouTube videos of people losing money gambling but it made me feel stronger not to do it. Some of these people have lost more in 5 minutes than I have in a lifetime which is horrifying; I really feel for those people. I want to stop before I lose more and before it destroys my life. I’m doing this for me and my wife, who has been so supportive of me. Keep fighting the good fight!

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 20:20

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Nearly 2 weeks in now. Keeping myself busy with other things and trying not to think about the dreaded G word. Been busy at work so that’s been a blessing, kept my mind off of it.

Payday tomorrow so I’m gonna treat the wife to a meal out - much rather that than literally throwing money down the drain and it’ll put a smile on our faces. 

A little reward for my progress; next target is a fortnight then after that I’m aiming for a month, and so on. Every day I don’t do it is a day on the road to recovery. Hoping I never ever veer off that road again.

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 17:39

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Just checking in. I’ve hit my second target, a fortnight. Not spent a penny gambling! Next target is a month!

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 17:55

degenerate

Joined:
2013-05-10

Well done for getting through payday without gambling. If you buy treats with half the the money you would have gambled with, your quality of life will be so much better.

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 23:32

wants2stop

Joined:
2015-02-03

Well done. 2 weeks done :)

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 23:33

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Thanks degenerate. You’re absolutely right. I’d much rather have something to show for it after spending some money rather than nothing by blowing it on gambling.

Posted on:
Mon, 05/03/2018 - 18:30

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

18 days gamble free now. The real tester is going to be this weekend. My wife is working and I’m going to be home by myself. 

I’ve just got to stay strong and busy myself with other things. Bought myself a new pair of jeans to reward myself for my progress to date. Should get them in a couple of days. 

Not really feeling the need to do it at the moment, I usually do it when I’m tired or bored or both so just need to do other things to keep myself busy!

Will keep checking in, and updating where I can. Any words of encouragement appreciated !

Posted on:
Wed, 07/03/2018 - 21:43

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

20 days GF and counting !

Posted on:
Sat, 10/03/2018 - 17:42

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

IJust checking in. 23 days gamble free today. Took my mum out for an early mother’s Day lunch earlier, it felt great to be able to treat her to something. 

Taking my wife out for a meal tomorrow too, it feels great to be able to afford to treat others (and myself with a new pair of jeans) rather than squandering cash. 

I’ve also managed to clear another £400 of my credit cards, got below the £6k mark now so I’m pleased with progress. I’m trying to get back in the black before the end of the year. A tough target to meet but I’m determined!

Posted on:
Fri, 16/03/2018 - 14:02

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

 

Just over 4 weeks free, fast approaching a month. Been very busy lately, especially at work so it’s been a good distraction for me. I’m only thinking about gambling every couple of days now which is an improvement.

Feeling pretty stressed out with work in fact which is usually a trigger for me, but I’ve got to stay strong and think of other ways to relieve my stress head. I’ve not got much in the way of plans this weekend but my wife is also off work so I’ll just chill with her. Trying not to spend too much money so that I can get out of debt. 

Treated myself to a couple of ps4 Games on eBay so they should be arriving soon. Will update more when I can!

Posted on:
Mon, 19/03/2018 - 14:02

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 32

Over a month in now. Pleased with my progress. Been far too busy to even think about gambling, so it’s been great as I’ve had distractions and it’s meant I haven’t been squandering money.

The real test will be when I hit 3 months, it’s something about that 90-100 day mark that something in me tends to break and I slip up. I’ll keep checking in from time to time. Not sure if many people are reading this but I’ll keep it up. Any words of encouragement Are appreciated !

Posted on:
Mon, 19/03/2018 - 16:50

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi mate, well done on 32 days gamble free, I am the same, get over 100 days and my brain starts to think I can have a small bet from time to time, it is the giving up for life that is really hard for me, I believe once someone is a gambler they will always remain a gambler, I suppose we go on runs of not gambling at all then we have a little go and a full on relapse occurs after that, we just have to remain strong. Wishing you well over the next 68 days until you get to your milestone, just take it a day at a time.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Mon, 19/03/2018 - 18:56

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello CG,

Well done on over a month GF now, for me i found that a tricky time in the past, before joining here and really going for it with my recovery. Its normally the time the funds start to become available again, just enough to keep the gambling train rolling as it had in the pervious months so just be mindful of that.

People do read these posts if not always (or sometimes ever) posting on the topic to say that have. I find having a diary lets me look back at my journey and if other people see it and get something out of it along the way too, then great.

All the best mate, have a good gf week.

Posted on:
Wed, 21/03/2018 - 21:24

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 34

Thanks SJ and willsy. Determined to reach and surpass 100 days.

I know exactly what you mean guys. Whenever I have disposable income I think that I don’t have anything better to spend the money on, but as I have debt on my car anything I have spare is going on that so that I’m not tempted to spend more.

Time + money is always a bad combination but just trying to fill the days with other things. Stress usually sets me off and things have been tough at home and work lately so it’s tricky. I’ve just been going on eBay and making small purchases here and there, mostly PlayStation games!

Wishing everyone all the best in their own recoveries and thanks again for all your messages!

Posted on:
Sun, 25/03/2018 - 07:49

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

 

Day 38

Not been sleeping well lately. Work has been very tough. Up very early this morning as needed to take my wife into work. 

Over 5 weeks in, no real temptation to gamble at the moment. Cleared off another little bit of my credit card debt, every £ towards getting out of debt is a step in the right direction. £5k to go, living frugally I will get out of debt by the end of September. Still seems so far away but I’m determined to make it.

I guess the real challenge will be when I have money to spend again once I am debt free!

 

Posted on:
Sat, 31/03/2018 - 10:42

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 44

Payday was on Wednesday, and bills don’t come off for 3 days due to the Easter holidays. Trying my hardest to refrain from spending money on the dreaded G word, but haven’t actually felt any temptation lately which can only be positive.  In fact, the only things I’m spending money on now is clearing my debt and treating myself to more PS4 games! I also treated my wife to tickets to one of her favourite bands who are playing England in December. She’s happy, and I’m happy I’m able to do it. I realise it’s a little splurge but it’s a fine line between not treating ourselves at all and clearing debt.

Happy to report that I’m just over six weeks in though, and determined to best this once and for all!

Posted on:
Sat, 31/03/2018 - 10:56

samorgo

Joined:
2013-02-01

Hi CG, I have just returned to this site after another relapse yesterday. It's so encouraging to see others being able to overcome compulsive gambling and making real changes in theire lives - congratulations and long may it continue!

Posted on:
Tue, 10/04/2018 - 19:29

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 54

Almost 2 months since I last gambled now. Have been keeping myself busy with other areas of my life and I’m feeling so much better for it. My obsession with money is still ever present, but my new fixation is on clearing my debt, which is much more healthy! Had a really nice few days off work with my wife and got away for a bit too, which was great! 

Have a bit of an issue with my crowns I had fitted a few months ago as one of them feels really tight and my bite has been affected which is making me feel a little down, but got an appointment on Friday to get it looked at.  

Wishing everyone luck in their recoveries as always. Stay strong!

Posted on:
Sun, 15/04/2018 - 18:54

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

2 months tomorrow since I last gambled! Don’t miss it one bit.

Posted on:
Wed, 18/04/2018 - 20:05

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 62

Nine weeks tomorrow since I last gambled. Coming up to my real test soon. Usually I can’t make it past 100 days without slipping but honestly my life has been too busy to miss it and when I have had some spare time I’ve been spending time with my wife, watching tv, playing games, making new friends, and clearing debt!

Still got nearly 5k to find but barring any huge expense this should be cleared by the end of the year.

Posted on:
Thu, 26/04/2018 - 21:40

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Made it to 10 weeks! Haven’t been thinking about gambling much at all lately. I’ve got 17p to my name until tomorrow when I get paid next. Just got to keep strong and fight the temptation... I am so determined to make it over 100 days and to keep going after that. No reason why I can’t win this fight!

Posted on:
Fri, 04/05/2018 - 17:54

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 78

Went to a race night last Saturday and spent £4, but it was going to charity for any losses so I don’t count this as gambling, it was supporting a friends charity... and I also bought £10 of raffle tickets as well. Does this count as gambling? I seriously hope not... didn’t really think about it!

It’s not caused me any further gambling tendencies and I’ve refrained from online gambling so I don’t see this as being an issue, kinda beating myself up about this too much I think!

I would never spend this money if it wasn’t benefitting a good cause!

Got a weekend to myself this weekend... just gotta keep busy and stay off the computer!

Posted on:
Mon, 14/05/2018 - 08:07

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

 

Day 88

Just checking in, now just over 12 weeks since I last gambled. Struggling financially as I’m still in debt by over £4K - trying my hardest to pay this back but I’ve got a week off coming up in June so want to keep some money aside for that, as we are not going on a summer holiday to speak of and we have been living so frugally lately, so think we deserve a break from paying creditors next month! 

Been so strong lately and have definitely noticed a difference in my finances by refraining from gambling. It’s definitely true what they say, you only win when you quit. 

Things very tough at work just now but as long as I can remain in employment until the end of this year, then the debts should be paid, and we will have the car to sell if things go awry.

Usually I start to get the itch around the 3 month mark, just got to stay focused and make sure I do not gamble!

Posted on:
Wed, 23/05/2018 - 22:31

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 97

Fast approaching 100 days again. Feeling confident that I will not slip up - not even thinking about gambling most days as I’ve been so busy in my work and personal life. Keeping myself busy is such a great outlet,as I then have no inclination to gamble whatsoever. 

I know I can beat this once and for all, just one day at a time.

Posted on:
Thu, 24/05/2018 - 09:39

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Fantastic effort, 100 days soon and you are well on your way to your new brain and new life. Well done : )

Jam

Posted on:
Tue, 19/06/2018 - 12:04

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 124

Almost 18 weeks in now to my fresh start. Still in debt to the tune of £3,500 but could be much worse and I’m gradually paying it off. Can’t wait for the day when I can say - I’m debt free!!

Posted on:
Tue, 17/07/2018 - 07:56

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Day 152

Had a dream last night that I gambled and lost £200. Thankfully I woke up and felt a huge sense of relief that I hadn’t done it for real.

I did install a couple of free slots apps on my phone a while back but thinking I should maybe uninstall them as I’m worried it will lead to temptation. I really feel like I’m doing so well - 5 months in now and I don’t want to undo all my hard work. 

Posted on:
Sat, 01/09/2018 - 14:58

Compulsivegambl...

Joined:
2018-02-15

Checking in.

Nearly 200 days gamble free now. Still over 3k in debt but slowly trying to clear my feet.

Posted on:
Mon, 03/09/2018 - 18:45

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Compulsive Gambler on 200 days gamble free.

Your a real diamond in the gamcare treasure chest and an inspiration to myself and others.

Wishing you happiness, contentment and good adventures as you continue on your journey...stephen