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Vinnie
(@vinnie)

hi all I new here ,after months of my son telling me I had a problem  im finally ready to address it I no I cant do this alone my question is , will I have enough support on here or do I need to tell all my family and friends what im going threw? the shame of my son noing is bad enough without everyone talking about me im feeling very confused on what to do 

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Posted : 13th January 2020 9:22 pm
Murlo
(@murlo)

Hi Zoe, I am so sorry to read your story.  It must be a really confusing time for you at the moment. Everyone has different experiences in their recovery. My first suggestion is to have a one to one chat with a gamcare advisor. I got so much from my initial contact. Also if you can, pop into one of the group chat rooms that run at 1pm and 8pm for an hour each day. 

I did choose to tell a few selected people. Not many though. It has helped me. That isn't a decision you need to make right now. The most important thing is to start getting the right blocks in place to help you stop gambling and a gamcare advisor van help you through what those might be for your circumstances. 

I wish you all the best and hope to see you in chat some time and on the forum here. 

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Posted : 13th January 2020 9:50 pm
Vinnie
(@vinnie)

thankyou for getting bk to me , I did go in chatroom tonight just watched tho, then after I wasn't sure if I needed to tell everyone or just be ok with the support of my boys, I have put things into place to take the temptation away and to be honest when I finaly admitted it to my son the shame guilt I felt was far worse than what I thought … I think I already no the answer I just don't need the judgement atm 

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Posted : 13th January 2020 9:57 pm
Boo radley
(@boo-radley)

I joined gamcare chat and diary.. Which has helped me. 

I haven't told friends. Its contained to my immediate household. That's my choice. It works for me 

Do seek help. No one judges.. I wish you the best

Boo 🙂

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Posted : 13th January 2020 10:01 pm
Murlo
(@murlo)

Just take your time Zoe. You don't need to bare your soul to the world. If I had my time again, I would have told fewer people than I did. I should have asked myself what the purpose was of telling them. Some have been a great support and give me practical help, some just really didn't need to know. 

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Posted : 13th January 2020 10:05 pm
Vinnie
(@vinnie)

thankyou for your reply boo,  Im  on the onlinecorse atm I will and can do this ...

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Posted : 13th January 2020 10:08 pm
Vinnie
(@vinnie)

thankyou so much for getting back to me ,

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Posted : 13th January 2020 10:09 pm
Silver lining
(@silver-lining)

Hi Zoe and welcome to the forum.

You talk a lot about the shame you feel towards your boys. Now imagine how proud you will be when you can tell them your a month gamble free, then 6 months and a year.....

The future can be a bright but only if we stop gambling.

All the best.

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Posted : 14th January 2020 10:06 am
Vinnie
(@vinnie)

Thankyou for your kind words @silver-lining , I just need to get it into my head that it’s one hour one day at a time , I dint  get this problem overnight so I can’t fix it over night , you are right I can make them proud of me again 

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Posted : 14th January 2020 10:26 am
Matty4becca15
(@matty4becca15)

Different things work for different people, when I first came clean about my addiction my Mrs had to force it out of me, I was so ashamed but felt an immediate weight fall off of my shoulders.  I explained to my boss I had a situation to deal with and was subsequently given the weekend off to get my head together and return to work with a better mindset.  On the Sunday evening my fianceé asked me “what are you going to say to people at work?” As clearly they would have known something was wrong and the team I worked with at the time weren’t an easy group to keep things from. My answer........ “I’m going to tell them what I am!!”  She was shocked as were my parents as they figured I would want to keep it private but my mind said otherwise.  I decided if I was going to deal with it I wanted to build up a group of accountability so that people were aware this is who I am and this is what I am fighting.

As I said different things work for different people, I have a network of nearly 2000 people who know my story, I do regular updates on social media and the support I receive is astounding.  I have also had people come to me for advice on dealing with their own gambling problems and asked for me to tell my story.  I am over 2 years clean but am only in the early chapters of my recovery as far as I am concerned.

Maybe for you it might be that you want a smaller group of people to be your go to, maybe select 2 or 3 people you wholeheartedly can trust and be accountable to them. In time your strength and courage may grow and you may decide to let others in.  The decision is yours and yours alone but if you do wish for my opinion I do believe from experience that it is very important to have people, people are a great support if they are chosen wisely, talking is a wonderful form of medicine as it lifts so many worries and problems instantly.  It is hard in the early days to deal with but I can assure you over time it does get easier.

Stay strong and best of luck

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Posted : 14th January 2020 6:03 pm
Vinnie
(@vinnie)

@matty4becca15 Thankyou for your reply , it means a lot that you’ve all took time out to help me feel less confused about my situation, 

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Posted : 14th January 2020 8:36 pm
Murlo
(@murlo)

Zoe,

It was lovely to see you in chat tonight. I hope you keep popping in, updating your diary and maybe taking a look at some others. We are al here for each other. 

Murlo x

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Posted : 14th January 2020 9:44 pm
Vinnie
(@vinnie)

@murlo,  it was nice to come in and meet you all , and see I’m not alone in the way I’m feeling , you was all very welcoming I look forward to getting to no you all , Thankyou so much for including me and taking time out to write to me x

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Posted : 14th January 2020 10:40 pm
Boo radley
(@boo-radley)

We all help each other zoe.. 😘 There will be better days..

Have an easy day. Touch base in chat maybe xxx

Boo 😘

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Posted : 15th January 2020 10:43 am
Vinnie
(@vinnie)

Struggling a little today ... was on my mind as soon as I woke up I am keeping myself busy but the thoughts keep coming , I thought it seemed to easy been really good even got money in the bank for the first time in I can’t rember how long , I will keep myself busy and fight the urge , reading all the post journals is helping me massively... 

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Posted : 15th January 2020 12:24 pm
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