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Urge to gamble feels stronger than ever  

 
Frogman
(@frogman)

The last few days have been really tough trying to stay clean. Almost 3 months gamble-free now but I think I now need to do something else to keep me going.

My 84days of not gambling is mainly due to willpower, busy schedule, working long hours to pay debts and other activities going on for me. In the last few days, things have been winding down and I have more time in my hand, some money in the bank and feeling a lot better but the devil appears to be closer than ever.

I have all the blocks in place so it will take walking with my own legs to the local shops to place bets on tennis. I am going to look into how to block ones self from the local bookies, can anyone recommended anything else I should be doing now that I at least have some sense in my head.

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Posted : 19th September 2020 6:25 am
Redcan
(@redcan)

Your 84 days free Mr frogman. Make it 85. I wish I was that far into being free from gambling.  You have been working hard and sorting out your debt. You know the feelings of the day after once we loose. Don't interrupt all those days of hard work. I've g

a long way to go and will be so happy when I get to 84 days . Hang in there . Dean

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Posted : 19th September 2020 6:35 am
michaelscott92
(@michaelscott92)

Don't do it Frogman. You've been strong for 3 months so you know its possible. Keep going and keep at it.

Remember the horrible feeling after your bet loses or you've emptied your bank account, or you wonder how you're going to pay that next bill. Find something to fill your (new) free time, start a new TV show, do anything but just do not make a bet. 3 months is a long time and you'll go right down to day 1 again and not just lose your money, but all the effort and strength you've put in over the last months.

I sometimes make a 'to do' list on paper, with all of the other things I need to do or could do, maybe it would help you too as I'm sure there are plenty of other things you could fill your time with.

Best of luck and stay strong, and keep on posting here to update us on your amazing progress 🙂 M

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Posted : 19th September 2020 7:25 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hey frogman, I had a funny feeling this was coming for you as I read something you wrote on someone else's thread . I can't remember exactly what you said but it was along the lines that you felt at some stage you would relapse. The difference for me is is that your talking about it and i believe that this is because although the urges are bad you are fighting this and you don't want to make the conscious decision to gamble. I too have struggled this week and like you I wrote on my thread  as usual had good support and advice slightly different to you in what I've been struggling with but struggling all the same. However I've closed a door on an avenue of potential relapse in the future and I feel massively better. Asap you need to self exclude from all your local bookies willpower alone is not enough I'm not scared to admit that willpower would get me nowhere I need the blocks and maybe I'll always need them and so what if I do. The demon will always be lurking the further away we keep it the better, this addiction is for life and I'm finally accepting that , frogman we have come a long way keep going forward, if we have that first bet disaster awaits we both know it . Use the self exclusion scheme for bookies and get that demon further away from you.

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Posted : 19th September 2020 9:47 am
Frogman
(@frogman)

Thanks very much everyone,

@Redcan, your 84days will come in no time I'm sure. It still feels like yesterday for me. I came here one afternoon and that was it. Keep it up

@michaelscott92 Thanks, the thought of those dark days scares the hell out of me honestly, so many times that single bet has cost me a lot so I know exactly how it feels. I don't want to go back to those days. And you are absolutely spot on, that'll take me back to Day1 and then it becomes harder.  On the other side of the fence is this devil, I know I will not gamble for the next coming days and even weeks, however, I am really struggling to come to terms with the fact that it is a continuous battle/starvation with this addiction.

@charlieboy, thanks. Yes, you quoted me rightly, I was being realistic with myself, the urge wasn't actually there at the time of writing, I was just going by what others have said, people relapsing after several months and years and looking at my own track record. I have actually never been to a local bookies to bet and I am not going to do that, it simply doesn't appeal to me. I have blocked all avenues to gamble online but you know that feeling when it just feels like something is missing in your life. It's crazy.

This post was modified 1 month ago 2 times by Frogman
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Posted : 19th September 2020 12:03 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@frogman I feel I'm flogging a dead horse on here sometimes, but willpower alone isn't normally enough for us addicts. Try to get to a local GA group or maybe look at the Gamcare counselling. 84 days is great but unless you look at yourself and change the behaviour behind the addiction, you'll enevitably struggle, like you are now.

There's a saying in GA meetings for when people say they don't gamble in bookies only online, or I don't gamble online, only in arcades, or so on, and that is you don't gamble in that way YET. It's all just waiting for you.

If you wanted to exclude yourself from the bookmakers, then MOSES is the scheme to help you do that. Goodle it or look at the self help section above. If you don't use them then there's no harm in being excluded from them anyway.

Keep strong and keep going.

Chris.

 

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Posted : 19th September 2020 12:51 pm
Frogman
(@frogman)

@chris-uk

Thanks very much for the reminder, GA next for me. I have been through the counselling here. I have had really good sessions and it's helped me a lot but I need to try something else so I will be looking for a local GA to attend

You are right, it's becoming clearer to me by the day that willpower alone will not get me out completely. When I returned here a few months ago after over 2 years of first posting, all I wanted was to get some senses back into my head and then I could look for other means to fight the addiction. I haven't been gambling that long, only 8 yrs, with the last 3 being a destructive gambler so I can very well understand the ''YET'' as I witnessed myself going from someone regarded by friends and family as responsible to an extremely reckless individual. I have taken myself to some very dark places. I have in the past used friends, wife's, brothers account to gamble online but I just wont go into the shops to gamble, it's a personal thing + my type of gambling (in-play) and not that I feel like the addiction can't get me in there.

I will do the MOSES as well.

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Posted : 19th September 2020 1:44 pm
Gambling_toad
(@gambling_toad)

Hello Frogman, 

Well done in making 84 days that is amazing. I have gambled for 18 years and only managed 6 weeks gamble free.

I now have put blocks in place so I never have much cash on me to do damage. 

Just wanted to congratulate you on your achievements. Stay strong. 

Best regards, 

Toad. 

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Posted : 19th September 2020 4:51 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

hi

I can see the addiction working on you Frogman but you must stay strong and remember what it did to you and what gambling actually is.

focus and take pride! feel  surge of pride and phone teh national gambling helpline to exclude from all bookies in your area 0800 2942060.

you can email them a photo so no photo booth or faffing around...please get it done and yo will self exclude from all bookies in a wide area.

You are allowing the addiction to put thoughts in again. NOBODY is offering you life changing odds against a one legged tennis player...I make these exagerated points to get it through that NOBODY is offering you a no brainer decision on any odds that will make any difference.

Most of use were addicted to the act of gambling which is a strong drug. hard to understand at first but its a powerful drug we get hooked on.

I never understood sports betters but they dont understand me either. However its just evidence that its all a mind control illness...machines... sports betting...casinos.....all of it.

Winning is a rarity which make it a mugs game. Once addicted its beyond all that anyway...its a fix and the money is secondary or much lower down the list.

Its not for you...you are not missing anything...go and do something else...no excuses there is plenty to do which is fun. Keep getting help but get the blocks on.

Your willpower is NOT enough on its own. If you fail to get a grip of that fact, a relapse is coming

Get monitored! TELL someone close who can do that. There is no shame in asking for help. It will save your bank balnace and it will save you!

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

 

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Posted : 20th September 2020 9:46 am
Frogman
(@frogman)

Thanks very much @joydivider @michaelscott92 @redcan @gambling_toad @charlieboy and @chris-uk

The urge appears to have left me for now.

I am off to my first GA this evening, meeting type is Steps, whatever that means but I am looking forward to it.

 

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Posted : 20th September 2020 11:33 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Frogman. You are not afraid to take it on the chin, you read,you take it in , from people who really have "been there got the t-shirt " and now you are acting on what they say. Some people " throw their toys out of the pram" but like me you are taking advice from people , not feeling offended at the advice you're given like some people do. Out of everything though the best thing that you have done is owning up to struggling not too proud to do it. The saying "pride comes before a fall" is so so true. As Chris often posts...you've taken the power out of the feeling. Keep going, I'm not giving in !!

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Posted : 20th September 2020 12:18 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@frogman Well done for seeking out the GA meeting. Just a little advice through experience, the steps meetings are based around a 12 step program which is about facing up to your past, sharing it, looking at yourself, making amends and continually reviewing yourself so that you change the defects in your character that you couldn't deal with, hence escaping into gambling.

You might be okay with nearly 90 days off a bet but my advice to anyone is just attend GA for now, get some clean time and build up relatinships within the group and after a few months then start to look at the steps.

It can be intense because it is dealing with emotions that you probably suppressed for a long time and in my experience, those that go straight to GA and work the steps struggle and some therefore leave the group as a whole. That's the last thing I want a*s a strong advocate of GA.

The steps have been a lifesaver for me as well as adding another tool in my armour against gambling so I wholeheartedly support it, but done at the right time.

Any questions please ask away.

Chris.

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Posted : 20th September 2020 2:47 pm
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