Call free 0808 8020 133

Trust is broken

 
Emma1234
(@emma1234)

I've been with my husband for 15 years. When I asked him what he was looking at on his mobile, he blurted out that he had bought some cryptocurrency. He told me that he had spent £300. After asking to look at his mobile banking, I learned that the amount he had spent was actually £1,500. He had made multiple transactions in three months. He seemed to think that he was "investing". It was obvious by his body language and talking that this came out that he hadn't planned on telling me. 

We have three kids. We live off my husband's income at the moment. I cannot understand how he could be making these transactions in spite of me always being very clear that I don't believe in it.

We normally discuss financial matters together. If we buy something for £20 or less we'd probably talk about it. So why was this different?

I'm shocked by:

1) the use of family money,

2) his not being honest with his intentions (at the stage of even researching all this cryptocurrency) or actions

3) not fully disclosing the amount once I was aware. 

He claims he has and intends to remain inactive in gambling. He is seeking help. 

Can anyone help me to understand at what point the 15 years of TRUST could be so quickly and easily broken? That's what I'm finding most difficult.

I'm devastated 🙁

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 25th January 2022 2:28 pm
Lost11
(@steve850)

Hi,so sorry to read your post,only your husband will know as to why he has done what he has done,multiple transactions of any money even if it is cryptocurrency is compulsive gambling,I don’t know too much about this as over the years I used to gamble on sports betting on and off,it’s a good sign he is seeking help and realise he has a problem here,only you and your husband know where you go from here but as I have found out trust in any marriage is important and once that is tested things become difficult, I hope you can work this out but as I said only your husband will be able to do that if he wants to stop.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th January 2022 7:40 pm
DAL83
(@dal83)
Posted by: @emma1234

I've been with my husband for 15 years. When I asked him what he was looking at on his mobile, he blurted out that he had bought some cryptocurrency. He told me that he had spent £300. After asking to look at his mobile banking, I learned that the amount he had spent was actually £1,500. He had made multiple transactions in three months. He seemed to think that he was "investing". It was obvious by his body language and talking that this came out that he hadn't planned on telling me. 

We have three kids. We live off my husband's income at the moment. I cannot understand how he could be making these transactions in spite of me always being very clear that I don't believe in it.

We normally discuss financial matters together. If we buy something for £20 or less we'd probably talk about it. So why was this different?

I'm shocked by:

1) the use of family money,

2) his not being honest with his intentions (at the stage of even researching all this cryptocurrency) or actions

3) not fully disclosing the amount once I was aware. 

He claims he has and intends to remain inactive in gambling. He is seeking help. 

Can anyone help me to understand at what point the 15 years of TRUST could be so quickly and easily broken? That's what I'm finding most difficult.

I'm devastated 🙁

Hi Emma 

I hope you are doing ok , I don’t comment usually but this screams out to me something that I’ve recently experienced. 

im a compulsive gambler and I recently relapsed after 2.5 years free of gambling the only sites I could gain access to were unlicensed and one of only deposit methods for a number of these were crypto, I’m not saying that this is the case but I’d say that the chances are high that the money no longer exists ! A gambler will do everything they can to bet and I hope your husband can reach out and get the support he needs , you also need to know you have support, he needs to allow you to take control of his finances , easier said than done but that was my biggest step in recovery , good luck and stay strong x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th January 2022 10:52 pm
freshprince
(@freshprince)

people do lose a lot of money when doing cryptocurrency. I guess its just not as frowned upon like gambling is. Plus you don't ever hear people talking about their bitcoin losses etc. One big ponzi scheme I say.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th January 2022 12:52 am
Share this page
Share

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

Find out more
Close