Hi Everyone,
I should have done this years ago, but like most addicts, I didn't want to admit a problem. My name is Alan. I am 42 and I have gambled since I was 16. I had just left high school and didn't know what journey to take in the world. I loved school at a young age but once I'd got to high school that love quickly turned to hate. At the time I lived with my Mum who had suffered ill health for many years and as a result she was unable to work, meaning the only income was her very measly benefit money. As I was approaching school leaving age, the DSS wanted to know what my plans were so they could reduce her payments further. I ended up taking a YTS which looking back was perhaps the worst decision of my life. In my very early childhood years, I was bought up near the seaside and was transfixed by the slot machines and in particular a 2p play horse-racing game. I would stand and play on it for ages trying to pick the winner. I am fairly sure this is where my addiction for horse racing and gambling in general stems from. I am also an avid football follower and having moved to a city that had everything on my doorstep I wanted money for all the usual teenage things. Clubbing, football, clothes etc. and quickly realised to fund this type of life my £29.50 a week YTS would not stretch very far! Despite my Mum being poor and very much on the breadline, she was (and still is) so strong minded. She never got into debt, if she couldn't afford something she would save up for it and credit has never been a word in her vocabulary. Why then did I turn out so different? I tried to estimate how much money I had staked in approx 25 years and it really is extortionate. I would say around £300k. I have had loans, credit cards, redundancy payments and savings that have all been spend gambling. I have had failed relationships, struggled to make friends and interact in certain social settings. I have had however still had a good life, I've been on holidays, had nice clothes, lived in some good houses (and bad!) and I believe I am a good person who is caring and empathetic yet I just cannot seem to help myself. I always thought my strong interest and knowledge in sport and my quick mathematical head would give me an edge, but my desperate lack of discipline has put paid to that. I have always said to myself that I can WIN only to find myself constantly chasing losses. I had systems and staking plans that have all failed because of my over indulgence. I have recently closed many of my online accounts but there always seems to be another one available to register for. I hate walking into high street bookmakers so I am getting there slowly, I just need a final kick up the back-side to help give me that extra push to walk away completely. I then need to find ways of paying off my debts - my partner has no idea how bad things are and the irony here is that when we got together 3 years ago, I helped her pay off her own debts within 12 months so its almost like I am playing good cop / bad cop. I lack patience and want everything yesterday and despite being careful with money in other ways, that is obviously just to leave enough aside for gambling. We need new things for the house which I keep trying to put off as I can't afford them and we would also like to buy this property, but I know for a fact any application for more credit would be declined. I need a change of direction and something to focus on. Sport is my life and blood but with it comes the need to place a bet. I currently owe around £29k in outstanding debt. Just 4 years ago I was debt free and had £25k in savings and was a contractor earning £1k per week - this shows how quickly I have spiraled out of control. What can I do to get my life back on track, earn some more money to help repay my debts and find an interest that frees my mind from gambling? Thanks for reading
You are a compulsive gambler, so much of you story is similar to my own. One thing is for sure, once you continue to gamble things will not change. Look up your nearest GA meeting and go ask for support there. You will meet others who have similar backgrounds like yourself. Go there, be honest and open and you will begin the journey to a brighter future one day at a time.
I am extremely new to stopping gambling ( 8 days) but have been trying for over a year knowing I had a problem. This time I know I want to stop as I have signed up to gamstop for 5 years and put Gamban on all of my devices. One word of advice would be to talk to the wonderful support people here at gamcare. They will give you advice and tell you all the different ways to ban yourself from gambling, not to mention offering counselling . Register with Gamstop this is the first step to ban most sites so you cannot play. I am finding that now I have all the blocks in place I am looking into the counselling side and working out why I gamble. I believe it’s a whole process of many steps that need to be taken. And as everyone always says it’s one day at a time.
Hi there,
Im compulsive gambler and im new here too.
I was never take my addiction and illness very serious.
I thought I will be ok to deal with it on my own.
In Dec I self excluded myself from online gambling for 5 years and also from all bet shops for 12 months (maximum time / need to be renew after a year).Went to see my GP on that time and asked for support. Get some antidepressant tablets few tel numbers to get some help.
At the end of the day nobody was able to help me. Assessment was on the phone for at least 45min.Loads of questions asked by " stranger " on the phone about my mental health and how I feel coz of gambling and stuff....Last question asked at the end of assessment was WHAT SUPPORT YOU NEED AND WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM US ??? I was shocked and cant believe what I was asked.. than I thought and said how should I know what I need and what is the best for me...so I gave up and I thought no chance will get help. But after 4 months battle with myself and family support with no good result ( spend bills money on facebook games ,buying stuff only to win challenge or go Level up) I found Gamcare..
People here will supporting You and huge Thanks to All of You for that...
Im already after my 1st GA session and waiting for 1 to 1 session now..
I don't think I would be able to sort and be brave enough to start any sessions without people here...
I believe in You...small steps forward...I know is hard coz im in the same point like you are...
Hi
I learned in the recovery program that gambling for me was a very unhealthy habit for me, it was a form of escape, while in action I would bury and suppress my pains, while in action I would lie and escape responsibility for fear of being rejected and abandoned, every time I went to my addictions and obsessions was a form of escape.
In the recovery program I would find out that it was a healing program, that over time I would relate to other peoples pains and relate to the panic that use to be an unhealthy state of mind to be in.
The more I got in to my addictions and obsessions I felt less and less control in my life, I did not know or understand that I was escaping people life and situation I felt vulnerable about.
In time I would give up my sad pathetic war stories and about money lost and then talk about my hurtful painful experiences in my life.
As the therapies got deeper and we could relate to each other I saw myself in other people, both the healthy and unhealthy parts of me.
The recovery program which is non religious to me helped me understand that over time my hurt inner child would heal, over time I would live a much healthier life with out my addictions and my obsessions.
It would take me slow steady baby steps, my fears would reduce, my trusting would grow, my wording I have to would change to I need to do things or I want to do things.
My wording I have to indicated obsessive behaviors.
In time on a daily basis I would write down my daily needs, I would write down my daily wants, and I would write down my daily goals I wanted to reach.
There were times when I wanted to escape people life and situation in other ways, television computer games etc.
The longer I attended the recovery program the greater the chances of a healthy interactive productive life.
The reality I was unhealthy, the reality I was having growing fears in my life that caused me to go in to panic mode far to often.
When I was willing to admit to myself I was just unhealthy only then could I find a healthier way of life to live.
Money was never going to buy happiness.
Money was never going to heal my hurt inner child. My control issues were fear based.
The money was just the fuel for my addiction.
Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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