So... It’s been a long struggle for me. I’ve tried and failed to beat this hideous addiction many times in the last 10 years. I’m heading towards 38 and have a lot of scars from gambling. I also amazingly have a lot of good stuff going on in my life as I have really tried hard to beat this addiction. To the outside I have made good progress the last year I’ve a new girlfriend who I adore and is literally the first serious girlfriend I’ve had. I’ve got a new job in the craziest times we have ever lived in.
So what’s the problem Robbie!!!
The problem is 80% of the time I am good - balanced - not thinking of gambling but that 20-% is literally killing me! I lose control find away to get an account open and bang €2k gone in an afternoon on horses and dogs and then I find myself feeling like there is no way forward and no way I am ever going to be at peace with myself! This happens yesterday (payday) and last month (payday) €4.5k gone! I’ve about €40k in bank debt as well which I could clear in 3 years if I just committed to it! It’s like I’m waiting for them to forget I owe them which I know is stupid but this addiction plays great tricks on the mind.
So to conclude I know all the things I should be doing to beat this but it’s like I don’t believe I actually can get rid of the 20% part of me that is wired wrong!
Thanks for listening! I’m hoping writing this will give me what I need to finally kick this.
I wanted to reply as I fully understand what you're saying and because no one has replied I don't want you to feel alone.
Gambling has utterly destroyed my life and so many other lives - so many I couldn't even hazard a guess.
How many years have you been an addict? Is it ten years trying to beat your addiction or have you been an addict for ten years? I was addicted at 15-16 years of age and I went into rehab at forty-one. More than twenty-five years of gambling and just like you the scars will probably be with me for a very long time. I'm now 705 days gamble-free, though I have to be honest and say that gambling is on my mind all the time. My addiction has ruined all sport and I can't own a TV because of all the gambling adverts.
To beat your addiction you might need to look at why you gamble - for me that was very painful. It might be worth looking into rehab. Look at the Gordon Moody Association. No point in having a great job with a good wage if it's all blown on gambling. I've been there and got the t-shirt. Fabulous salary for the month and all of it blown in a bookies less than 48 hours later. Might as well have sat at home on the dole.
Rehab for me was a lifesaver. Maybe you should look into it.
Hope this reply helps. Tony.
welcome to the Forum and thank you very much for sharing your story.
From your post it sounds like payday and access to money are your main triggers. Have you thought about creating a block to make it more difficult for you to gamble on payday? Maybe you can speak to your bank and see if a merchant block can be applied to gambling transactions? Or maybe even ask someone to hold your cards/money for you for a period of time?
I would also recommend self-exclusion and blocking software to address the access element of the gambling triangle.
It would probably also be helpful to plan nice things on payday to make sure you are busy and you don't have time to think of gambling. And get a treat - you worked hard all month, you deserve a treat, but one that you can afford and will benefit you.
If you are a resident of Great Britain please call our Helpline or Netline any time, we are here 24/7.
If you are outside of GB you can contact www.gamblingtherapy.org
Please keep sharing on the Forum as well.
Wishing you all the best,
Thanks for your reply.
In reply to your questions I have been addicted for probably 10 years. And trying to beat that at various levels of success. I am at the stage now where I have good stuff to live for. 2 years ago I’d didn’t and I didn’t really care whether I lived or not. I suppose getting out of that headspace and into a more positive one is relative success!
l came close to going into rehab so I get where your coming from but the truth is I would lose my job and that’s not something I want. I know u might say I can’t afford not and that blowing my payday is the same thing as not working.
What rehab did u do? How long?
I have put in a fairly brutal few days mentally but do feel like I have the point of finally finally accepting the losses and more so knowing that no matter what the next bet is gonna trigger a spiral and I just don’t want anymore so that’s it. I’m done.
Thanks so much for your reply.
I have taken your advice and now blocked all channels once and for all.
I have also restricted access to money by giving my girlfriend control over same.
I’m really gonna put in the hard work now and concentrate on the positives and beat this once and for all!!!
I went into rehab in 2019 and was there for twelve months. To be honest under normal conditions I would never have spent that long in rehab, but while I was in the final stages the first lockdown came in and I was stuck there. Most people spend fourteen weeks there - many speak to their employers and are given fourteen weeks sick leave and they then go back to their jobs.
Rehab for me was a gift from the gods. The Gordon Moody Association are the best people to speak to. They have sites in London and Dudley. They have a waiting list so you'll have time to get your affairs in order. You won't phone them on a Tuesday and be told right we'll have you in next Monday.
I've finally realized that the reason why I gambled for so long is because I wanted to and I didn't want to quit.
In 2019 I went into rehab because I had to - either that or commit suicide. I now I'll never gamble again and that's because of rehab. It worked perfectly for me.
Thanks for sharing that. Interested in the sick leave option. I totally get what your saying about realising the reason and ultimately I feel similar. I have not wanted to draw a line and quit. I think that ties in with the acceptance piece. As the last week has unfolded I feel I have got that feeling of really wanting to quit and accept the losses. I am under no illusion that feelings alone or trying to beat this addiction on my own will be enough but it’s a start and I now will reach out for help and rehab.
It’s great to hear where you are mentally today compared to 2019 and I’ve been in a similar mindset around that time. So fair play to you and continued success.
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