Support us

Third (and FINAL) relapse, nearly cost me EVERYTHING!!!  

 
9419andOut
(@9419andout)

Hi I’m 9419andOut

 

im 43 and started gambling 9419:days ago and stopped for the third time Friday 13th March, as of today I’m 11 days GF.

Last Thursday I came clean with my wife (of 18 months together for 8 years) for the third time, this time she ripped off her wedding rings, told my to go, told me it wS over, that was it....

 

3 days of anger poured out from her very soul into mine, 3 days of tears and fear, I did that to her, through lying, manipulating her and losing £1000’s and £1000’s in the last 14 months since last relapse maxing out two credit cards, getting a 5 year loan and maxing out my o/d, as I sit here typing this, 4 days have passed, my amazing wife and I have put the building blocks in place to try, step by step, day by day to go forwards, I’ve taken owner ship of my mistakes, I’ve removed my name from the joint savings and ensured all the debts in my names so she will never be effected, oh, and I’ve just been made redundant as a GM in the hospitality industry.

I was going to my first group GA this week butnCovid-19 put paid to that, I’m making lists, calling debters, job searching and using Gamcare, and have self excluded from the nearest 50 betting shops (I was a heavy cash better dogs/horses, never online).

Everything is now in my control, I can finally be the master of my own destiny, will I ever bet again? I don’t know, do I ever want to lose my wife and see her that emotionally destroyed ever again? I’d sooner die.

this is for her, she’s my everything, I need support, I need help but I’m stronger than I’ve ever been as I’ve had a glimpse of life without her, and it’s just not possible.

my name is 9419andOut and I’m a compulsive gambler, 11 days GF

 

thx for reading Xx

 

Quote
Posted : 23rd March 2020 10:02 pm
JOHNPOPS
(@johnpops)

Hi, Well done for those first 11 days... this is a major breakthrough for you and choosing to walk this journey again just have taken some heavy heart guts... so this is why you deserve the ‘Well Done...’

Just so you know we are all here thinking of you and sending you our best thoughts and hopes for your gambling free future!

If you REALLY want to stop gambling then promise yourself to just keep opening up this website, even every hour at the start if needed, if you think your brain is stretching you away And tempting you to the ‘other’ actual gambling sites...!

There is a triangle of three important things i use to stop me from gambling... simply this;

Money.

Time.

Access.

Stop ANY one of these three things then you CANT gamble. SIMPLE.

Take away your money... give ALL access to your money, cards, bank accounts, loans, cash, EVERYTHING monetary wise, to someone you can trust and know will look after it to support you.

Take away your time... All the time you spent gambling now has to be filled with something else... I chose to write a journal to record all my thoughts about my gambling and how its hurt people around me...? I wrote for about four or five weeks solid... BUT I did not gamble in that time so it worked for me..

Access... Denying yourself access to something that you feel is a given right is a difficult thing to accept for most of us, but is most likely the MOST important thing for you, or someone very close to you, to undertake. Self-Exclude immediately is my advice, from wherever you can. Then, once this is done, GET SOMEONE ELSE to go onto each and EVERY site you EVER used to gamble and self-exclude from ALL of them... forget any ‘pence or pounds’ you have on any account, its gone! Give over your phone, iPads and access to any pC,s etc... Sounds a bit strong but if you do this then the embarrassment and shame WILL help you to stop... but will ALSOI give your friend/partner a tiny bit of confidence that you REALLY mean this!

Remember... you ONLY need to remove ONE of these things to stop yourself gambling. If you remove two or all of them then great, you will have given yourself the best of chances.

I wish you the best in your journey and just know that whatever you have felt or done to support your gambling then there are thousands that have done much worse, but have come out the other side better people.

 

Blessings,

John Pops.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24th March 2020 3:46 pm
9419andOut
(@9419andout)

John Pops

 

thanks for your kind words, I attended my first virtual GA meeting last night, day 12.

 

9419

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th March 2020 8:26 am
Spendlikewater84
(@spendlikewater84)

Hiya

Thank you for posting. I went through similar with my husband. I made the decision to quit about 6 months ago. The lying and manipulation are terrible with gambling. You sound like you really love her and you've had a taste of life without her. This should be enough to make you wanna quit. 

Thing is you have to want to quit FOR YOU! only you have the key to your success and your the only one that can stand in your way.

I've had CBT on here you could try that I stead of meetings. It worked for me and opened my eyes. 

I also read a book by Alan Carr. He made me think of things differently too. It is worth a read. I was skeptical but it helped me MASSIVELY

now i am 194 days gf, I never thought I'd made it to 10 after ten years. 

YOU CAN DO THIS 

Spend 👍

This post was modified 1 week ago by Spendlikewater84
ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th March 2020 11:05 am
silee70
(@silee70)

Hi, just wanted to say well done for being so pro-active in putting blocks in place and to wish you the best of luck in your job hunting.

Take care.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th March 2020 11:35 pm
9419andOut
(@9419andout)

Hi Silee

 

thanks so much for your kind words, every days a school day x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31st March 2020 8:17 am
9419andOut
(@9419andout)

Hi Spend

 

thanks for your kind words, what Alan Carr book was it and why you think it helped so much?

 

HUGE kudos on you GF streak, a year GF is closer than you think 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31st March 2020 8:20 am
packer86
(@packer86)

Hey 9419

Well done on everything that you've achieved so far and by putting the blocks etc etc into place.

It may be a long road ahead ( I am just starting mine) we start it at least with our destiny in our own hands

Packer

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31st March 2020 9:15 am
9419andOut
(@9419andout)

Great Stuff Packer, stay strong, stay safe, stay GF Xx

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st April 2020 9:32 am
9419andOut
(@9419andout)

19 Days GF, We Continue Xx

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st April 2020 9:35 am
Share this page
Share
  
Working

Please Login or Register