Student Gambling

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(@joecpfc)
Posts: 8
Topic starter
 

Hi all, 

I am new here to the GamCare website. Gambling on stupid things like virtual and live casinos for the past year and a half have ruined me, especially being at university (still). My dad passed away 2 years ago and my nan (dads side) only 2 days ago. Maybe an escape, but not an excuse.

I spoke on the phone to someone from Gamcare and now I am determined to change the way I live, hopefully with the help from you guys. (If theres any pointers and tips for someone who has gone 1 day without gambling, please share!) I've shared the news with my mum, explained about loan sharks I have picked up whilst gambling and rent i havent paid. Very supportive and loving, much more than i'd be if roles reversed. 

I'm hoping to add to this to keep my mind sane and to stay off the gambling websites (GAMBAN is in place on my devices)

 

thanks, Joe 

 

 

 

 
Posted : 30th April 2019 3:23 pm
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posts: 503
 
Posted by: joecpfc

Hi all, 

I am new here to the GamCare website. Gambling on stupid things like virtual and live casinos for the past year and a half have ruined me, especially being at university (still). My dad passed away 2 years ago and my nan (dads side) only 2 days ago. Maybe an escape, but not an excuse.

I spoke on the phone to someone from Gamcare and now I am determined to change the way I live, hopefully with the help from you guys. (If theres any pointers and tips for someone who has gone 1 day without gambling, please share!) I've shared the news with my mum, explained about loan sharks I have picked up whilst gambling and rent i havent paid. Very supportive and loving, much more than i'd be if roles reversed. 

I'm hoping to add to this to keep my mind sane and to stay off the gambling websites (GAMBAN is in place on my devices)

 

thanks, Joe 

 

 

 

Hi Joe and welcome to the forum ?. Gambling is definitely an escape from the real word as I did that myself for many years. I’m really sorry to hear about your Nan passing away a couple of days ago and you have my condolences. I’m assuming your around late teens early 20s if your at Uni ? . If so then we already have things in common as I lost my dad when I was 19 also and although I’m in my late 50s now I can remember those dark days like it was yesterday. All I can say is that although you never forget the loss time will heal and make it easier to deal with my friend .  You’ve already done the hard bit  by admitting that you have a problem with your gambling and admitting to your family plus putting Gambian in place will help you no end , so well done for all of that . 

Maybe look at ways of restricting your ability to have funds to gamble or even better do it by handing over financial control to your mum maybe ? . Or at least give her the ability to be able to check on your accounts for gambling transactions, that way there’s full transparency and nowhere for gambling to hide ? . The best thing I can suggest for now is to treat everything on a one day at a time basis as it’s much easier to give up if you can initially get through a 24 hr period and then bolt them together to form a week and a month and do on ?.   You also need to get your head around the idea that gambling has beat you this time , allow it to win , forget the losses and walk away , that way if there’s nothing to get even for there’s no point in going back for more is there? .  The great thing is that your still young enough to turn your life around  and make a difference, you’ve seen at an early age how bad this can become and more importantly you’ve had the sense to seek help before it becomes an even bigger issue ?. I’m always on here with many others so if you need any advice or can’t find what you need just ask and someone will reply .   Look after yourself buddy and I’ll catch up with you soon.    Alan 

This post was modified 5 years ago by A 9
 
Posted : 30th April 2019 10:51 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)
Posts: 859
 

What ^ said 

 

You are so young yet very mature to accept it's a problem.it will only ruin you if you let it.

No more gambling .nothing .

That's the key to this.go change ya habits, get through the next few days then start life again.good luck young man 

 
Posted : 1st May 2019 4:10 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1696
 

Hi

Thank you for sharing your pains and vulnerability with us.

Sadly I was in action while I was studying and was not able to give my full time and attention to my studies while escaping in my gambling.

Learning that Gambling is unhealthy so soon in your life is an asset for you.

Please keep attending the recovery program and finding healthier choices in your life.

Your losses and pains are hard to process yet time invested now will save your further pains later.

It sounds like you are aware that Gambling is not a healthy choice.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

 
Posted : 1st May 2019 7:22 am
(@joecpfc)
Posts: 8
Topic starter
 

Thanks all for your kind replies, Alan I am 20, 21 in July. I feel very welcomed and really want to put these awful days of betting massive amounts daily behind. Was struggling when Barcelona v Liverpool was on but held firm and Gamban definitely helped there. I want to do this for family, for my girlfriend and to enjoy the better things in life instead of sitting there in darkness; angry for losing money I could've used to enjoy something with friends or loved ones. 

Thanks so much once more and I'll continue to read stories from others and have inputs myself from time to time. 🙂 

 

joe 

 
Posted : 2nd May 2019 12:31 am
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posts: 503
 

Hi Joe :)) 

Glad you held firm with the temptation of the football :)) . 

I think there's one person you omitted from your list of people you want to do this for ? and that's for yourself my friend , get yourself back on track and everyone and everything in your life will undoubtedly benefit greatly . 

I know you want peace an happiness for those around you but it's you and I that need to be fixed the most , just like a car not running properly " If it's broken you'll not get to your destination " ? .

I wish you well Joe :)) 

 
Posted : 2nd May 2019 12:25 pm
(@joecpfc)
Posts: 8
Topic starter
 

I f*****g caved. I got paid the money owed about 200 and it was supposed to be go to my mums account but for some reason came to mine. i hate myself.the complete truth is  I told myself again i could make back some of the losses even though i know its so stupid and so many people have told me to cut it there. God this is the worst illness. I hate it so much. i want to stop but my mind power is not enough. Im going to book doctors on monday see what they say. sorry mum. 🙁 i promise i am angry at myself but more upset. joe 

 
Posted : 20th May 2019 12:29 am
(@joecpfc)
Posts: 8
Topic starter
 

I am lying here on the floor just so upset with myself. I know i have age on my side to correct this but its not what i want, i want it to all disappear now, i wish i never put that first bet on years ago. I just want to take my girlfriend on holiday as i know she really wants too(she deserves it more than anything) but i cant even do that now. i know deep down my family are disappointed with me and will be tomorrow AGAIN. is there any hope? please. if there is i just need to get my mind back. i have work tomorrow and its a well paid job for what i do but its just a struggle. ahhhh. sorry, my mind is a mess again. just rambling now to take my mind off it. 

 
Posted : 20th May 2019 1:00 am
(@joecpfc)
Posts: 8
Topic starter
 

I''m going to speak to my boss tomorrow and make sure my pay on the 28th goes into my mums account, i dont know why it didnt and i really wish it did. sorry for the spam. 

 
Posted : 20th May 2019 1:17 am
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)
Posts: 859
 

Don't dwell on what's lost.get back to changing ya life.

In the early days you need to avoid all the triggers that got you here, not easy but understand the massive change you must make.

The money is gone. Forget it.

 

Start again

 
Posted : 20th May 2019 4:48 am
(@givemethebuzz)
Posts: 174
 
Posted by: joecpfc

I am lying here on the floor just so upset with myself. I know i have age on my side to correct this but its not what i want, i want it to all disappear now, i wish i never put that first bet on years ago. I just want to take my girlfriend on holiday as i know she really wants too(she deserves it more than anything) but i cant even do that now. i know deep down my family are disappointed with me and will be tomorrow AGAIN. is there any hope? please. if there is i just need to get my mind back. i have work tomorrow and its a well paid job for what i do but its just a struggle. ahhhh. sorry, my mind is a mess again. just rambling now to take my mind off it. 

to be totally honest with you gambling isn't something you can just give up over night its an extremely draining mental process that tends to consume our entire lives 

i have tried every trick in the book to quit gambling but ultimately i always return to it , its just the way my brain is wired  i think i would have to actively fight urges every day for the next 20 years to "quit"

some commitment huh ?

fortunately over the years i have developed a safety net system where i will never completely leave myself broke as this is dangerous and can lead to highly irrational thinking i would advise you to consider a similar strategy for the future regardless of wether you tell yourself you are quitting on not 

i read somewhere gambling has a strong link to the bipolar disorder and i am starting to wonder if  problem gamblers do indeed have a multiple personality disorders 

 

 

 
Posted : 20th May 2019 9:07 am
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posts: 503
 

Hi again Joe :))

Sorry you've slipped Bud but nobody said this is easy did they ? and the only way your going to not gamble is to hand over all financial control and put every block in place to ensure you can't gamble , these procedures are needed to at least get you to a point in life where you feel strong enough to fight off those urges and take back some control of your life , when that point is .....well that's down to you my friend .

Before I came here and focused on what I needed to do I would always convince myself that after a few weeks of not gambling " I was cured " and had that control back ? . The truth is it was just addiction whispering in my ear saying those very word's I wanted to hear , unfortunately I'll never be cured Joe and even though I'm a fair while from my last bet I know full well that I'm only one bet from picking up from where I left off , I've enough time behind me now where I don't need all those blocks but they were something I def relied on for a couple of years and they served me well . 

Sometimes it takes us awhile for things to click into place and realise that we'll never be cured but we can control this .

As I and many others have stated " Let go of the losses coz it's not coming back mate " , you'll never beat a bookie in the long term and all the time you keep trying you'll continue in the cycle of destruction that I was on for many years . 

It takes strength and courage to fight an enemy and sometimes you just gotta dig deep to get ahead  .

 

 
Posted : 20th May 2019 9:25 am
(@joecpfc)
Posts: 8
Topic starter
 

I've done it again. A day before my mums birthday. A day before I fly to budapest for my cousins stag do, I lose a stupid amount of money (its alot.) that includes spending money, money for mums birthday present, list goes on. sick and tired of it and i say it every time but this time really has to be it. My mum is going to absolutely murder me im the worst family member ever. its sickening to the stomach and the thought of upsetting my family makes it 100x worse. im so lucky to have them; this might be it though. i just want to enjoy life but i do this. :@ i know people do this but i do it until i know my bank account is 0. crying for a couple of hours now just so sick of it all. i need more help than this. :'( 

 
Posted : 6th June 2019 12:36 am
(@givemethebuzz)
Posts: 174
 
Posted by: joecpfc

I've done it again. A day before my mums birthday. A day before I fly to budapest for my cousins stag do, I lose a stupid amount of money (its alot.) that includes spending money, money for mums birthday present, list goes on. sick and tired of it and i say it every time but this time really has to be it. My mum is going to absolutely murder me im the worst family member ever. its sickening to the stomach and the thought of upsetting my family makes it 100x worse. im so lucky to have them; this might be it though. i just want to enjoy life but i do this. :@ i know people do this but i do it until i know my bank account is 0. crying for a couple of hours now just so sick of it all. i need more help than this. :'( 

with all due respect it sounds like you are going around in circles here , I would pause for a second and ask yourself what exactly you want us to tell you on here, there is no magic route through recovery it’s a long hard slog

you are not the first person to lose the shirt off his back and you won’t be last …..crying over spilt milk is a waste of time

 you have to quickly figure out how to replace the cash lost and restore your family’s faith in you

 you will have to hustle 24 hours  a day 7 days a week but use the misery caused by gambling to to fuel you

 

 

 
Posted : 6th June 2019 12:06 pm
 A 9
(@alan-135)
Posts: 503
 
Posted by: joecpfc

I've done it again. A day before my mums birthday. A day before I fly to budapest for my cousins stag do, I lose a stupid amount of money (its alot.) that includes spending money, money for mums birthday present, list goes on. sick and tired of it and i say it every time but this time really has to be it. My mum is going to absolutely murder me im the worst family member ever. its sickening to the stomach and the thought of upsetting my family makes it 100x worse. im so lucky to have them; this might be it though. i just want to enjoy life but i do this. :@ i know people do this but i do it until i know my bank account is 0. crying for a couple of hours now just so sick of it all. i need more help than this. :'( 

Hi Joe :)). 

Look Mate , this is never going to change until you change and it certainly won't stop until you stop !!.

I feel your pain today and can completely understand how your feeling right now and the one thing that bind's many of us together on here are the thought's just after losing again when we say to ourselves " Why did I go back and do it again " and then the panic set's in trying to find way's of digging ourselves out of that ever deepening hole ? . 

I can't help with the immediate aftermath of what's just happened but you really do need to start owning this addiction and step up and deal with what you need to keep you safe . 

Whatever the consequences own up and reach out for help , put the block's in that really should have been there anyway by now , the biggest being you still having access to money to gamble with ? .

Lot's of thing's you can do buddy that can keep you very safe but leaving door's open where gambling can squeeze through is not good at all and you say you need more  help than this ?  , well have you spoken with an advisor or thought about councilling or a GA meeting if you need face to face ? . 

The choice is your's Joe and as Einstein said " The definition of madness is to keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome   " , I did the same thing for many year's myself Joe but it wasn't until I took this addiction seriously and made a few better choices that my life improved . 

Talk soon buddy and best wishes for now 

Alan 

 
Posted : 6th June 2019 2:50 pm
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