Hello,
I've read about GamCare for a long time now but for some reason never thought about signing up and looking further into getting support from people in a similar situation.
I've been gambling online (mainly sports betting) since I turned 18, i'm now 26. I can't begin to think how much money I've lost, easily £25,000+. A few years ago I got stuck in a horrendous cycle of payday loans to support my habit, pushed people away who were trying to help and in the end wanted to end everything all together. I finally opened up and got support from counselling and hypnotherapy when I hit rock bottom, but I just can't seem to stop myself!
The habit I got myself into of gambling money which was due for rent and bills has gone, but whatever I am left with now after I have paid these I feel the urge to splurge on outcomes I am convinced are going to happen. I work myself into the ground to earn a good amount every month and up until the minute I am paid I convince myself it won't happen again; yet the second it hits my bank account I feel suffocated and intent on having another dabble. One bet leads to another and the rest is history....
One thing I learnt through the hypnotherapy and counselling was that one of the reasons I gamble is because I am intent on beating the system, even though I know it is never going to happen! Doesn't anybody else feel like this?
I've always told myself I want to beat the addiction on my own but the reality is maybe I can't. I closed all of my gambling accounts but I always seem to find another one to open each month. My partner is amazing and wants to help me, but every month I end up in the same situation, hiding my gambling and the stress I am under. I'm worried she is reaching the end of her tether.
I've learnt to cope with the stress which is why I am more resilient than I was 4/5 years ago, but I am not sure how much more I can take. This is why I thought it is a good time to give GamCare a whirl.
I apologise for the long post, I just wanted to give a little background on my situation. If anybody has had a similar situation or can offer the smallest piece of advice it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
Hi
Struggling to abstain from unhealthy habits takes time.
It was important for me to swap unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
It was important for me to put more time and effort in to my recovery.
The addictions and obsessions were a symptom that I was emotionally vulnerable.
When I went to the addictions and obsessions were a way of me escaping in my fears from people life and situations I could not cope with emotionally.
The recovery program was going to help me help myself become healthier and healthier.
The recovery program was not going to stop me gambling that had to be my own daily choice.
The recovery program was going to help me exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
By going to meetings I would learn from other people.
By going to meetings I would relate to other peoples therapies.
In other peoples therapies I would learn how to cope with people life and situations in a much healthier way.
The recovery program helped me understand what my emotional triggers were.
The recovery program helped me learn how to interact with people rather than react in unhealthy ways.
My emotional triggers were my pains not healed, my fears not faced, my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, my loneliness due to my fears of emotional intimacy, my feelings of boredom because I felt that life was boring, that I could succeed, that I avoided facing being accountable and I avoided facing challenges in my life.
My unhealthy reaction in my anger was due to my pains not healed, my fears not faced, my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, I use to think that being angry was healthy, not today being angry is not healthy in any way for me today.
My unhealthy reaction in my anger caused further aggression and confrontation, my anger caused people to fear me.
I want every one to be free of all fears towards me today.
I am no longer the victim, I am no longer the perpetrator, I am no longer the rescuer.
As our fears fade our trust grows, once we heal that hurt inner child our inner child comes out to play.
As our fears fade we no longer fear rejection or abandonment, we no longer fear failure, we no longer fear being our self.
Love and peace to every one
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
It looks you are describing my life. I have lost about £25000 online since I turned 18. I am almost 25 and have lost it all online. I won back all loses over 3 years but then lost it all back in a week. I stopped gambling in stages when I blocked my Santander debit card only to get a new debit card 3 months later where the gambling cycle starts all over again. It was only when I actually close the bank account that related to that debit card over 6 months ago when it really stopped. I have an esaver account which only offers cash cards. For me to gamble online from now, I would would have to open a brand new bank account as well as go to my bank branch to produce a bank transfer. I have blamed gambling losses on lots of things, but the one true and real cause is ONLINE DEBIT CARDS. If I had one, I would still be broke and gambling. However, I have since saved 7 grand since I closed the bank account related to the debit card. I have lots of hobbies like bodybuilding, football that absorb me so I give less importance to money and gambling.
Hi, I would make sure you have no access to cash for a while. Trust somesome to give you an amount each week to live on. If you do spend it on gambling you'll have yo wait until next week. Its like getting pocket money. Also try and find something to occupy your mind for the next few weeks to take your thoughts off gambling. Goodluck
Hi Richard,
I have tried that before and in fairness it did work to an extent. I just feel that it's extra stress on my partner having to ask her to monitor my money as well as my own. I think to myself that at 26 I should be able to control my own finances but it's evident I struggle with that. Appreciate the advice though, might be time to try that approach.
Thanks!
Hi Richard,
I have tried that before and in fairness it did work to an extent. I just feel that it's extra stress on my partner having to ask her to monitor my money as well as my own. I think to myself that at 26 I should be able to control my own finances but it's evident I struggle with that. Appreciate the advice though, might be time to try that approach.
Thanks!
Hi, I cant gamble online and thats helped me alot. It means i have to go out to place a bet which is good but a pain. It's been 3 weeks now and i've slowly started to ween off gambling and i'm not too bothered about it now. I still get the urge but i don't want to P**s anymore money away. The problem is the amount of time and energy i put into gambling rather that the money side. If you want to stop gambling you really can. It's going to be hard but at the end of the day its down to you but you still need support from someone you know. Speak to them when you get the urge to gamble. Also praise yourself for not gambling each day that goes by...
I wrote on a small piece of paper to remind me of the reason not to gamble and put it in my wallet....
1. You always lose in the end
2. You gamble your winnings just to lose it again
3. Even the faviorites lose and anything can happen in football.
4. Whats gone is gone
It's just not worth my time and energy anymore.
Hi Richard,
I think to myself that at 26 I should be able to control my own finances but it's evident I struggle with that.
There's no shame in admitting you have a serious problem and need all the help you can get.
Help is the key here, not pride.
Best of luck ?
Ps. I'd take 'an extent' to 'no extent' any day of the week. In fact, I'd take all the help I can possibly lay my hands on to deal with this problem. If you don't pay gambling addiction the necessary respect you could end up on here talking about a 50k deficit as opposed to a 25k one.
And yes, people have been on here with debts of that nature and will continue to come on here with debts of that nature and more as this addiction is ruthless and shows no mercy.
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