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Struggling bad with a 10 year addiction  

 
Temptation86
(@temptation86)

Hi everybody I hope your all doing well. As with most newcomers ive got to the point ive hit rock bottom. For the 500th time. Like a never ending cycle that has gone on. And on. And on for over ten years now. I tried to attend a gamblers anonymous meeting last night in Birmingham. Drove a way to get there, to be met by a locked door and an unhelpful caretaker. Not on apparently. So low and behold after dropping my partner at work this morning I headed straight for B*****d and lost £400. That takes it to over £12000 in four months, considering I'm a self employed painter and decorator, nearly half a years wages. FOBT roulette (machines in bookies) is still where my downfall lies. I know they are evil but I can't stop.

With the closure of betting shops during covid and working my a*s off I'd had more savings than I'd ever had in my life. It will come as no surprise I've lost the lot. Even at 2 pound a spin the machines are still capable of rinsing £100 from me in 5 minutes. I'm suffering mentally and physically from spending 4/5/6 hours a time transfixed by the game, the wheel and the bar at the side. I'm suffering anxiety and migraines and my all round well being is not good at all. I'm sure a lot of you can understand, my diet aswell is awful. I know within GA meetings figures are not generally talked about but I reckon in ten years I've lost money that could of paid off a 2 bed house mortgage. 

I went to a few GA meetings 4/5 years back. That helped for a short while. I always go back though. I havnt had a holiday in 10 years and worse than that neither has my son. All through my selfish addiction. I just wanna talk. With people that understand. I've been to the bank earlier and made changes to my expenditures on my bank cards, which is a start. Be good to chat with people the same as me on here and I'm as happy to hear your storys as I am that you will listen to mine. God bless

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This topic was modified 2 months ago by Forum admin
Quote
Posted : 22nd October 2021 7:40 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hello @temptation86

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. 

I'm sorry to hear how you have been feeling, well done in taking such a positive step to acknowledge that it is a problem and to reach out for some support.

I would really encourage you to get in touch with your GP surrounding your well being, to make sure you are receiving the support that you need with that. 

You may also find it useful to look into contacting MOSES and put a self-exclusion in place for your local bookmakers, you can find their details at: https://self-exclusion.co.uk/  

We are available 24 hours a day on our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat, so please do get in contact and one of our advisors can talk everything through and look at all of the support available to you.

Wishing you all the best and do keep sharing your journey. 

Regards, 

Sophie C.

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd October 2021 10:34 pm
Asas786
(@asas786)
Posted by: Temptation86

Hi everybody I hope your all doing well. As with most newcomers ive got to the point ive hit rock bottom. For the 500th time. Like a never ending cycle that has gone on. And on. And on for over ten years now. I tried to attend a gamblers anonymous meeting last night in Birmingham. Drove a way to get there, to be met by a locked door and an unhelpful caretaker. Not on apparently. So low and behold after dropping my partner at work this morning I headed straight for B*****d and lost £400. That takes it to over £12000 in four months, considering I'm a self employed painter and decorator, nearly half a years wages. FOBT roulette (machines in bookies) is still where my downfall lies. I know they are evil but I can't stop.

With the closure of betting shops during covid and working my a*s off I'd had more savings than I'd ever had in my life. It will come as no surprise I've lost the lot. Even at 2 pound a spin the machines are still capable of rinsing £100 from me in 5 minutes. I'm suffering mentally and physically from spending 4/5/6 hours a time transfixed by the game, the wheel and the bar at the side. I'm suffering anxiety and migraines and my all round well being is not good at all. I'm sure a lot of you can understand, my diet aswell is awful. I know within GA meetings figures are not generally talked about but I reckon in ten years I've lost money that could of paid off a 2 bed house mortgage. 

I went to a few GA meetings 4/5 years back. That helped for a short while. I always go back though. I havnt had a holiday in 10 years and worse than that neither has my son. All through my selfish addiction. I just wanna talk. With people that understand. I've been to the bank earlier and made changes to my expenditures on my bank cards, which is a start. Be good to chat with people the same as me on here and I'm as happy to hear your storys as I am that you will listen to mine. God bless

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi mate, I am the same I have been struggling for over ten years now and it’s a horrible addiction where you can’t talk to anyone about! Not everyone understands how evil this addiction really is! 

Stay strong mate and be positive there is light at the end of the tunnel! Feel free to stay in touch 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23rd October 2021 2:20 am
Temptation86
(@temptation86)

Hi there, cheers for the reply and support. I did think of going to the doctor's, I have been before though and their answer to my problems always seems to be anti depressant medication of which I am reluctant to get involved with due to seeing a family member go bad ways on them. I would definitely be interested in some one to one counselling but I realise times are hard and I would have to drop lucky to get that. Regarding the Moses/self exclusion, I am already banned from every bookies in my local town. And am well known to shop workers in over 10 shops. The problem is if I want to get into a shop I will. Whether that means driving 10 mile down the road or wearing a wooly hat and scarf to disguise myself, I'll find a way. I have to do this of my own will. With my job I can work all over the Midlands and have been known to stop off 3/4 times on home journeys at different bookmakers along the way. I am a all or nothing gambler. I can't walk off 100 up and I can't walk away 100 down. The lot will go eventually as I chase a big win on the god forsaken devil machines. And when I'm losing, I chase, as in my mind I always seem to remember that one time I came back from 2500 down to win a grand. Somehow forgetting the countless other times they have savagely destroyed me. I've woke up this morning with the headaches, the soulessness and the fatigue. But I've also woke up with a mentality to do this. I'm going to London for the weekend with my partner and my son which could be just what I need for a few days to get away. Then I plan to attend a GA meeting the start of next week.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23rd October 2021 7:53 am
Temptation86
(@temptation86)

Hello mate, cheers for replying. Yeah the feelings of anxiety, depression, loser-ness and feeling like I live with a blackened soul are feelings that I don't know how much longer I can live with. I totally get the thing with keeping it all in, hiding a scheming and deceitful lifestyle. I feel like a shady character at times when trying to interact with people and long for the day simple things give me satisfaction and I can wake up of a morning with a fresh outlook on like, feeling clean. Whats your story pal, how did you end up here?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23rd October 2021 12:02 pm
Dave101
(@dave101)
Posted by: Temptation86

Hello mate, cheers for replying. Yeah the feelings of anxiety, depression, loser-ness and feeling like I live with a blackened soul are feelings that I don't know how much longer I can live with. I totally get the thing with keeping it all in, hiding a scheming and deceitful lifestyle. I feel like a shady character at times when trying to interact with people and long for the day simple things give me satisfaction and I can wake up of a morning with a fresh outlook on like, feeling clean. Whats your story pal, how did you end up here?

Hello temptation,

I hope you can rearrange next week and get to he GA meeting again if possible. You said that you went to a few for a short while about 4 or 5 years ago. What I found is that you have to keep going as a reminder and positive boost to your week in which is does when you get the opportunity to open up to like minded people and it always works on here on gamcare to a certain extent.

calculating the losses and trigger ones self. I know deep down the total amount I have lost, and guess what! Its some thing more valuable than money and that’s time with family and the friends I had. My relationships have been destroyed over a good 16 years or more gambling with social issues and mental health problems as well as possibly physical ones too.

but guess what we can fight this horrendous addiction through unity, respect and understanding while taking what people share from their own journeys and aids via sites and tools to become better people and free of this addiction. It’s easy to get complacent and think I am cured I don’t need to use this site or go to meetings but some times that’s the addiction finding a way of beating us.

we all have been through a hard journey and working on better ourselves can help heal with time and absence from gambling.

just for today I will not gamble.

dave101

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23rd October 2021 3:15 pm
Temptation86
(@temptation86)

Hello Dave, cheers for the reply mate. I just read that message and that's a great point you have made about time lost with family members being the most important of your losses. Hit home a bit that did mate. Its something that hasn't Crossed my mind as much as it should have, through all my selfish calculations of figures over the years. Time sat at the machines. And it has consumed so much time. Should of been spent with loved ones

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23rd October 2021 6:11 pm
Givemethebuzz
(@givemethebuzz)

Perhaps i am being dull here but i thought measures were introduced in 2019 to stop people losing so heavily on these machines ?

In theory it should be incredibly difficult to lose large sums in a short space of time

How are you circumventing these measures ? 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th October 2021 11:52 am
Si_mon
(@si_mon)

Hello,

Well done on starting to take pro-active control of your outgoings, that's really important and you should look to make sure that any debt is at the lowest possible interest rate that is available to you, it will make a real difference. I stuck my head in the sand for a number of years with regards to what interest rates I was paying and just accepted it as being what it was. Once I started to take control I made it a (positive) challenge to be on the best rates available and got my buzz off chipping away at the debt however large or small a payment was. 

My mental health suffered as a result of gambling so I know exactly where you are coming from, my recommendation to help with that is to be open and honest with people close to you, it's no fun doing it but is very liberating once done and for me personally it was very surprising as to how positive people were with me.  

I struggled quite badly with insomnia and was referred to a sleep therapy clinic, this helped tremendously with my anxiety (I was referred to something called Sleepstation). The therapy was tough as it involved sleep deprivation (sounds odd given I'd got insomnia I know) as even though I had insomnia I was still going to bed at a regular time and just didn't sleep. The therapy had me stay up until the early hours of the morning by which time I was desperate to go to bed and slept better as a result.

I wish you all the very best.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th October 2021 9:48 pm
Temptation86
(@temptation86)

They have managed to wingle their way around it without breaking the law and in theory it is £2 a go. But you can have I'd say probably 20 £2 presses of the button in a minute which will account for £40 and still not even get on the roulette board. It surely is a game for mugs these days, sadly I am a mug of the highest order who just cannot stop. The crafty swines have even introduces two extra 0's to the board now making it even harder to win. They have no mercy

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th October 2021 6:23 pm
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