Completely new to this site, I have struggled with my gambling habits for the 15 years. I had counselling roughly about 6 years ago which helped but didn't last for long.
I truly want to stop gambling or atleast have it under heavy control, I have had a lot of turmoil in the last few years a bereavement and a few relationships that have gone south, through gambling too much. I have two kids that I want to be better for, so I'm doing it for me but for them overall. I have a current relationship that will be ending very shortly due to the issues around lying about gambling.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to keep the mind busy I would be grateful.
Hi mate, keep at it, hope this helps, what I have been doing during lockdown is getting French lessons on Duolingo, it keeps my mind focused and I have an objective every day, also if you are in similar dire need as I was two years ago sign up with Gamstop, get the monkey off your back, you will feel like a free man like I did, good luck.
Similar to you, I have struggled with my gambling addiction for over 10 years, the pain I have caused to my wife and family over and over, god knows how she has stuck with me but she has. My life without gambling is as close to perfect as I could wish for and yet I have still found myself ruining it through gambling. Gambling makes even the most loving person a horrible selfish one.
I tried counselling about 8 years ago and hated it, the councillor I had was very new and had no experience, I felt like he needed me to understand problem gambling and I really wasn’t in a position to be someone’s project.
about 18months ago I decided to try counselling again as I was in a bad place gambling, this time I had a fantastic counsellor and I found it really beneficial in giving me new ideas to focus on etc.
if you haven’t tried it already, gamblers anonymous meetings are definitely worth a try , some of the best advice you will ever get is from a gambler, as they know exactly what they should be doing but struggle to do it themselves.
I have found when I’m at my best times gamble free, walking my dog in the country side has been the best help for me, as i focus on how far I walk and how calming the peacefulness is etc.
You need to focus on stopping gambling completely, you can’t go half hearted telling yourself you can control it because it will always be something that drags you back in.
hope this helps.
Good morning & welcome to the team.
Your story is a very similar path that we can all relate to on here. I have lost 100k in 5 years through betting on football. During those 5 years, many times I said to myself I have to quit & I would for a day or 2 but then give in to this horrible addiction as it lured me back in.
I look back now after being 86 days GF & think d**n it why didn’t I quit a couple of years ago, I could have saved myself from losing so much money, but I didn’t, & the reason why I didn’t was because I didn’t want to quit enough!
I have had the counseling by these fantastic people that are out there for us, to give us advice & to try & train our mindset against this horrible addiction.
But these great people can only help us a certain part of the way because if WE don’t want it enough then we will always relapse & that is what happened to me many times.
There comes a point in your life whether it be, losing your family, your home or potentially your job because of gambling & I reached that stage where if I didn’t quit, that’s exactly what would have happened. Was this awful addiction going to take what is most precious away from me?......NO it wasn’t & it was at that point I was at day 1 of being permanently GF.
We all have things go on in our lives that we can’t change, but what we can do is learn from them & find the right path in putting it right. I am on that path & so are so many great people on here fighting this addiction.
If you truly want it enough & willing to put everything into quitting, then join us on the journey.
Hi big red.
You ask how to keep the brain busy its hard .... what do you or did you enjoy doing as a passtime, ive found with lockdown i turned to gambling more its isolating in itself. When I have an urge I pop on here read some or update my diary, write jot down those thoughts. Ive just started the cbt course on here game change, how about trying that?? Were never to old to learn.
You say your relationship is going to end soon, hows that affecting you?? Can it be rectified by working together on this. Gambling does make you hide things and lie it is part of the addiction does your other half fully understand ?? Maybe showing them some of the diaries on here may help if you want to work on it.
Lastly your on the right path by being here, support is always in abundance.