Sadly I am not new here

10 Posts
6 Users
0 Likes
1,776 Views
(@hollaway)
Posts: 14
Topic starter
 

I could and should have logged off and took the cash like so so many other times I already knew what was in store just like you all know no need to go into the gory details we have all tasted these times we know that feeling , Anyway I have been at this for on or around 27 or so years since the dial up (loud noise) internet spawned online casino's before this I like a little footie bet in the shops but nothing of concern them days. Online started all my gambling problems and I have lived with them for nearly 30 years I have become an expert in lying to people or so I think I am , Truth is they know I am full of it these days so its water off a ducks back when I unload a pack of lies that sound only good to me. Anyway as stated above I have become a master at finding ways to have a bet on the slots. I joined this site some years ago and joined Gamstop thinking that will do the trick ?  It did not take me long at all to simply join casino's that did not recognise Gamstop some(most) of these sites I knew would not even pay me out if I did win they were that shady but it mattered not I was loaded with ammo and ready to click that auto spin button and away i went . Then I thought Ill join up a Major site pretending to be our lass which I did , I lost thousands and even went on live chat to say "hey look at me I am a banned player and you let me on" You can imagine how that went ? ?  I have had lots of big wins which never even made withdraw status and lots of big losses from my wages . What I want to know is I have tried the gamstop which was pointless I just used really dodgy casino's instead , i tried the gamban app which I found pointless as soon as I clicked on connect to VPN i was away and ready to spin them wheels so that did not work . If I can always find a way the only real way id to never put my fingers on a laptop ever again and that's the problem I hate TV . If I get in after a 12 hour shift and it's dark /cold and raining outside I am not going for any long walks on the beach I want to relax before bed and that's 99% done on a laptop .No point in telling the bank to block my card I will just visit a newsagents and buy a paysafe voucher or join one of the other payment methods like skrill or one of the many others available. the missus sits watching the TV she knows I am an addict she's gave up telling me . so the only answer I can see is to never get my paws on another computer unless anyone has other idea's Ill give them a go . 

 

Cheers all ? 

This topic was modified 2 years ago by PETER
This topic was modified 2 years ago by Forum admin
 
Posted : 19th May 2022 1:48 pm
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)
Posts: 607
 

So try to reason like this. If you need dopamine like you obviously do. Could you get it any other way? Could you run / bike / workout?  Take a cold shower that is a great dopamine high and it lasts for a while. Because that is all your doing. Chasing highs. You may think you are chasing losses and to some extent that may be true but you could in a sense play any video game and teach your mind to enjoy that instead.  The mind is like an orchestra and there are many moving parts. If you can get the part where you accept that you are being told lies by your own mind you could start to look at things differently. Habits mean doing the same thing again and again. We are and have been conditioned for a very long time so you either accept the habit you don't like and try and distance yourself from it by abstaining or you exchange that habit for a better one. You only need 5 weeks to sort out the chemicals in your brain. Anyone can do that. The other part is deciding how you want to live. Some people will always fall back because they are to focused on staying clean and then they relapse for one weak moment or another. Others will dose their gambling until they get bored and do other things. Some will hate themselves so much that they cant go back to the bad feeling and drop it all together and others are so afraid to hurt loved ones that they fall into line and change. Which one you decide to be is your choice. Just note there is no black/white version for rehabilitation. It is as individual as the gambler himself.

Tony Robbins said it is all about changing your state. He is right. I will suggest some NLP. I think you can get some good help to change your state to a different one.

 

I wish you well!

Best

C

 

 
Posted : 19th May 2022 3:00 pm
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)
Posts: 4883
 

Hi peter,

Well as is always the case, if we really want to gamble we will... we will always find a way. Interesting that you still play on the dodgy sites whilst realising that there is a good chance you won't get paid out if you win. If I think am not gonna get paid out i'd think "well what's the point?". For me the buzz is the "anticipation of winning".... and collecting, even if I then, like a fool, put it back

Of course the bigger picture to recovery is... What do I do with myself if am not gambling? Replacing gambling, filling the void, living life a different way. That's the hard work.

keep working at staying stopped.   

This post was modified 2 years ago by S.A
 
Posted : 19th May 2022 3:07 pm
 GREG
(@gdiddycourogen)
Posts: 53
 

You gotta keep getting back up.  Is there a way to restrict your access to funds?  Can someone else be in charge of your finances.  I know what it’s like to have those “cat’s eyes” when you are lying to others.  More important is the lies to yourself.  I said out loud to myself for the first time the other day… “Let’s be real…my addiction makes me chase not just losses…but wins!  Trying to get that shot of dopamine again we will just give it all right back.  Stare that demon down and tell it you have better things to do with your life. I am in the best shape of my life.  I was able to replace the gambling with exercise and caring for my kids.  Those things are money in the bank and they earn interest every day.  That account is building and I am putting those funds toward my self-confidence and self-respect which were completely depleted when I began this process.  I believe in everyone on here!  If you didn’t want to get better, you wouldn’t be on here.  Take care of be compassionate with yourself.  Self-flagellation was something I used to drive myself in the past.  I’ve learned that the most important thing is self-compassion…I watched a great TED talk on it.  I came away agreeing with the scientist/researcher who concluded that money, prestige and power to not bring self-esteem.  The basic building block is actually self-compassion.  Her data showed her that self-compassion opens the door for self-esteem.

greg

 
Posted : 19th May 2022 3:39 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)
Posts: 887
 

I have two simple questions. Have you had enough of gambling? Will you do anything to help yourself?

Chris.

 

 
Posted : 19th May 2022 6:53 pm
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)
Posts: 607
 
Best
C
 
Posted : 19th May 2022 8:36 pm
(@hollaway)
Posts: 14
Topic starter
 

Thanks for all the replies I appreciate all your comments and advice ? ?  

 

Posted by: @chris-uk

I have two simple questions. Have you had enough of gambling? Will you do anything to help yourself?

Chris.

 

Yes I think I have had enough now Chris . I have told the missus I'm putting all my wages in her bank this month she knows what I am like so if the urge comes I wont have the money available to log into a site a lose . 

 

 
Posted : 20th May 2022 6:31 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)
Posts: 887
 

@hollaway that’s good to hear. I only ask because if you haven’t had enough you’ll face an uphill battle.

I was also concerned because you said lots of things you couldn’t do but not what you could do, so I’m glad you’ve made the change to at least give away your access to your money. Don’t think of it as someone else having control, just think of it as you just not having instant access. I believe the two of you should sit down together and go through your weekly/monthly bills and decide together where the money goes, and just have what you need each day. What you really need, not what you want.

I’d ask one more question. These blocks in place are only meant to be short term, a few months maybe, so can you envision any issues that might arise that you can deal with now, rather than wait until they become an issue?

I’ll see if I can help through my own experience.

Well done on the first few steps though.

Chris.

 

 
Posted : 20th May 2022 6:45 pm
 GREG
(@gdiddycourogen)
Posts: 53
 

You just made my Friday, Peter.  That’s my brother’s name, too.  Chris is right on again.  That dopamine can be gotten in many other ways.  Sometimes it takes some pain….weight lifting, running, boxing, etc.  but the end result is a string healthy body instead of an empty bank account.  I think I got used to the release of dopamine being so easy by just pushing a button…which indeed led to an empty bank account, divorce, loss of time and other my kids….  Stay strong and smile big!  Every day without gambling is a victory.  And you have the ability to win every day from here on out!!!!

 
Posted : 20th May 2022 11:46 pm
(@givemethebuzz)
Posts: 174
 

Unfortunately blocks are inhibitors they aren't a long term solution

 

You actually WANT to have to stop or it's pointless putting the blocks into begin with 

 

Most gamblers create fantasy worlds where neither time nor money matter 

 

First of all you need to say bye bye to this reality and get back into proper reality 

 

 

 
Posted : 22nd May 2022 6:07 pm

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

Find out more
Close