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Ruined my life gambling, feel the lowest ive ever felr right now  

 
Danpo1989
(@danpo1989)

I've had a.problem with online slots for around 7 years now off and on, I've just recently split with my mrs of 11 years with 3 kids only 1 biologically mine,  though I see them as mine. I gambled 1900 pounds this time round and my now ex told me this is the last straw. I feel so low its unreal but I know I only have myself to blame. My daughter is 9 years old and I love her more then life itself but right now I'm finding it hard to even enjoy the company of her as all I can think about is getting back in the relationship. Things are so complicated as we have a mortgage and I feel like I'm rock bottom because im back out on my a**e at my moms. Tbh I didnt treat my ex with the respect she deserved and completely understand that breaking up and never getting back together is how she feels, why would she risk being with a controlling gambling addict. This time round lime I say I blew 1900 pounds this was all the bill money for the month and some. I know I just need to walk away and let my ex live her life but it's so hard. I've never been through a breakup before really  11 years is a very very long road. Do t get me wrong I have been the best boyfriend at times and she knows that too but it's just not enough.

 

This  is the hardest thing I've been through in li

Just dont know where to turn

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Posted : 7th December 2019 3:31 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi @danpo1989,

I'm sorry to read that things are so difficult for you at the moment. You've taken a big step forward by admitting the problem and reaching out here for support. Now is your opportunity to start putting your life back the way you'd like it to be.

You say that you don't know where to turn. I'd really encourage you to use our helpline (0808 8020 133) or netline services to have a conversation with one of our advisers. They're trained in supporting and advising people in exactly your situation and can help you access the additional support you need and come up with a plan of practical next steps.

You're not in this alone.

Kind regards,

Elizabeth

Forum Admin

This post was modified 1 month ago by Forum admin
ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 6:44 am
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

Hi Danpo.

When you're that far down change is inevitable and will and must happen. Show your X, mom and child that you can make the change that they all want you to do and I can guarantee you that you will come out stronger for it. Now is the time to start moving down the right road again and you can do that with the correct help and counselling.  I have been where you are twice. It hurts and you need to get through that hurt hopefully with an experience that can give you the strength to move forward. Don't ever give up. Make a choice that you want something better and you will have it but it starts with that decision.

Good luck in our recovery! 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 7:01 am
Danpo1989
(@danpo1989)

Thanks @admin and @c43h ibe spoken to gamcare team a few days ago and waiting to hear about counselling. The thing is at this moment in my life I hate gambling and never feel like i want to do it again. I feel like the problem right now is how am I going to cope withought waking up to my ex and kids every day of my life the love for them is so strong its unreal. I feel like I cant cope withought them. I'm just so depressed and anxious its unreal. All I want is for my ex to have me back in our home but I know she wont and it hurts to much to feel like I can carry on 😥😥

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 8:46 am
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)

Hi... am a compulsive gambler... but at the same time I don't know what its like to be in your situation. What i do know is that given your emotional state your gambling head will keep trying to a number on you. A part of you will just want to gamble for the sake of a gamble... escape into oblivion. Your main priority is to stop yourself gambling. The immediate crisis will pass.

Have you signed up to Gamstop? have you excluded from local bookmakers? and what ever you do don't carry around a bunch of cash burning a hole in your pocket. keep yourself safe, get through christmas and then start working on the bigger issues in the new year. All the best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 9:41 am
Danpo1989
(@danpo1989)

Thanks everyone for the support, I'm waiting on gamcare for counselling, I'm not the kind of walk in a bookies gambler it's just solely online slots that has suckered me in. Like I say I cant see myself gambling anytime soon as its ruined my life, I'm so distraught that my relationship with ex has broken down it's all I've known for 11 years. The mortgage providers are saying they cant sign the house over to her name because shes not on enough income so I have to be still on the mortgage. Since the breakup a week ago all shes done is be nice and try to support me in every way possible on a road to recovery as a friend. I feel like I shouldn't even be taking the help from her as I've messed all our lives up as a family. I think the breakup is gunna be the thing to destroy me she keeps saying think of your daughter who like I say I think the world and would fight the world for her but at this moment in my life I cant give her the love she needs right now which is killing me. Is this me just being selfish. I just feel like my life is over. I don't even know how I'm still going to work. I just cant wait for everything to be over. The emotional state I'm in right now is horrible I'm really distraught. Just weighting this now I'm balling my eyes up thinking you all are such  ice people and why are you helping a waster like me.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 10:26 am
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)

Your not a waster, you have make bad choices and been sucked in by gambling games that are designed to be addictive.... just like I have. Underneath it all... your ok!

Do something positive today.. sign up to gamstop.... it will help stop you gambling in the future, when the urge next strikes... which it will, at some point... probably sooner than you think? If you cant do it for yourself do it for your daughters sake.

The immediate crisis will pass, the emotions will settle... your ok

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 11:54 am
Simon W
(@simon-w)

Hi 

I have recently been made homeless and lost everything due to gambling and looking for advice on how to get back up. Iv been gambling for around 2 years and total lost would be around 7-8k altogether. It’s made me a different person, aggressive, moody, depressed, anxious, secretive and my wife has had enough and kicked me out of the house n can’t see my children 3 weeks before xmas

i lost my job 3 weeks ago and slept in a cemetery on Thursday night. We have money problems in then house in around  30k of debt built up in her name due to my credit being poor. Her parents have been buying food n clothing kids while I have done this. I feel very ashamed and disgusting with myself 

she wants a divorce and to never see me again and not to see the children 

im devastated and thought about ending it last night 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 6:37 pm
Danpo1989
(@danpo1989)

S.a I have been to work today to raise 80 pound towards my daughters xmas presents, just reading your about you post. That's exactly how I am I'm not interested in bookmakers I get sucked in by the online slots. The thing is I have a 5 year block on my name from gamstop but I still found a way to do it by doing in my now ex's name. She is going to put that 5 year block on her name now for my sake. I'm trying my best to stay strong for my daughter, I know I need to be. I went like 2 years withought gambling then it just snook up on me. I honestly cant wait for gamcare to get back in touch so I can get some counselling, I know it sounds selfish but the breakup is killing me slowly.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 7:07 pm
Cliffords-had-enough
(@cliffords-had-enough)

Choose life.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 8:38 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear @simon-w,

I'm so sorry to hear how extremely painful and difficult things are for you and your Family at the moment but glad that you have been able to reach out on the forum. I'm concerned that you thought about ending it last night, I hear you when you explain how things are at rock bottom right now and this may seem the only way out.  There is hope for the future and you are worth so much more than where you are now, please remember that gambling does not define you. The future does not have to be this way, there is so much support waiting for you and we care about you.

Please remember that you can call the NHS 111 for help with your thoughts and feelings around suicide as you may not have access to your regular GP, as it is the weekend. If you need urgent medical assistance please go to your nearest A&E department or call 999 for someone to come to you.

We would encourage you to call us on our 0808 8020 133 or our Netline which you can also access via our GamCare website. We're here day and night so there is always someone ready and waiting to help you. If you would like us to call you, please email your contact details to [email protected] and an adviser will call you straight away.

Please know that you're not alone and we're here for you, we can talk everything through with you and provide you with details of organisations where you can get urgent help with housing, food and mental health support. As well as talk about the gambling and strategies that we can suggest to help you once we know you’re safe.

You can contact your local council to find out about emergency housing options and for the details of any homeless shelters that you could go to so you can get a warm meal, drink, sleep and be safe. Your local council can also advise you about applying for a crisis loan to help with essential living costs, some councils provide these emergency loans.

You can also access food banks in your local area by telephone The Trussell Trust on

01722 580 180 or by entering your postcode in at the following website:-

www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/

The Citizens Advice can provide you with advice on everything including legal advice should you need it, housing, debt, financial matters. You can call them on 03444 111 444, you can also go see them face to face.

Self-exclusions, bank accounts that block gambling transactions, giving financial control over to a trusted person are all things that may help you and we can discuss these and many more coping strategies when we speak to you. We’re also able to make a free referral to one of our Treatment Partners so you can start some support sessions with them if you feel this would help?

You can attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings in your local area too where you will find support from your peers, please do keep posting on our Forum and using our daily chat room too.

Please don't give up hope and stay with us, take care and we hope to speak to you soon.

Kindest Regards

Joanne

Forum Admin

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th December 2019 10:46 pm
thedude1991
(@thedude1991)

It all takes time and patience. Things will change dont hold on to regrets. Work on yourself.  I have been gamble free 523 days. When I lost all the money I stopped.. And since then. I married. I have a beautiful wife and beautiful daughter. I have money for everything. BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP. With time you will stop thinking. Focus on what you love. Love is the cure for everything

 

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Posted : 15th December 2019 1:26 am
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