Relapsed - Day 1 Today

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Oliver
(@oliver)
Posts: 30
Topic starter
 

Hi All,

I can’t seem to beat this addiction. Keep stopping then restart. Managed 12 months gamble free then back, did 6 months and back. Relapsed and  been back gambling for 2.5 months and lost a lot of money. Got payday loans. Stopped for 4 days this week then back on it this weekend. Determined to quit now for good. Day 1 tomorrow. Blocks in places. I write on hear as it really helps me when I say it to others I won’t do something. When I say it just to myself I cave in. Hope this makes sense. Anyway, tomorrow is day 1. I won’t gamble. Won’t let you all down.

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 1:33 am
signalman
(@signalman)
Posts: 1199
 

Hello mate

Best of luck in your quest to give up gambling, it really is a devastating thing in the hands of an addict, it tends to only really go one way when the two meet, and that's downwards.

What sort of things are you going to implement to aid you in your quest? Are you going to put physical blocks in place or confide in people about your addiction? Are you going to attend support groups or do some study into the psychology behind being an addict? Maybe some counselling? These sorts of things may help you in the long run no?

It seems you have tried 'cold turkey' and it only gets you so far? Maybe a committed, diligent approach to your predicament may yield more favourable results...

Either way, best of luck my friend ✊ keep posting. 

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 1:54 am
Amba
 Amba
(@amba)
Posts: 89
 

Hello Oliver. You did well to not gamble before so don't feel bad about things, you'll get back on track soon enough. I haven't been stopped that long so have no wisdom to pass on to you but I look forward to reading how you get on and I wish you well.

 

 

 

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 2:04 am
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)
Posts: 607
 

You could use a daily scoreboard.

Me                                  Casino

0                                      350:-

Why? Because when you realise that you are into chasing but still spend back every penny and any wins, your brain tends to lie or goes into serious denial to keep the circus going and if you let your brain get away with it, you will continue to chase. The scoreboard is thus a reality check. 

Is it a trigger for more gambling? Not if you understand that you're chasing just to gamble, but if you think that you are going to score big and solve all your problems with that one big win then this is not for you.

I would try and look at mindfulness as a tool. Sounds boring as heck I know but it works if you master it, and it sure beats these horrible explosions of angst that rock bottom generates so there has never been a better time to get a new skill than now.

Best

C

 

 

 

 

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 6:42 am
mikethelion
(@mikethelion)
Posts: 6
 

Its a really tough one to conquer- harder than the class a's in my experience and so easy to access these days. Just think how youre going to feel tomorrow after you've lost- or worse still you win and double your losses the next day. There is only one its going to end - you already know it but the feeling is eating at you. Don't let it. Go for a run or something like that and get the endorphine rush and the self satisfied feeling of not giving in to it. We're all here because we know the feeling, and its ended badly for all of us. Just....don't.

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 6:22 pm
(@jpg1981)
Posts: 1
 

Hi Oliver, you can beat this mate, It really is such a bad addiction but focus on something positive and what I personally have found that helps me is I gamble on football and predict what bets I am gonna put on in advance, don't check up on what bets you were going to place, you are worth so much more, I wish you every success in conquering this addiction

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 10:05 pm
Oliver
(@oliver)
Posts: 30
Topic starter
 
Posted by: signalman

Hello mate

Best of luck in your quest to give up gambling, it really is a devastating thing in the hands of an addict, it tends to only really go one way when the two meet, and that's downwards.

What sort of things are you going to implement to aid you in your quest? Are you going to put physical blocks in place or confide in people about your addiction? Are you going to attend support groups or do some study into the psychology behind being an addict? Maybe some counselling? These sorts of things may help you in the long run no?

It seems you have tried 'cold turkey' and it only gets you so far? Maybe a committed, diligent approach to your predicament may yield more favourable results...

Either way, best of luck my friend ✊ keep posting. 

Thank you signalman. You helped me last time I posted. (You won’t remember) Very kind of you to again.

I’ve self excluded from all my accounts and I had many! Had counselling previously and reading some previous material from it has helped. Determined this time. I beat my alcohol addiction (7 years now) so determined to do the same with this.

 
 
Posted : 7th December 2020 11:22 pm
Oliver
(@oliver)
Posts: 30
Topic starter
 
Posted by: Amba

Hello Oliver. You did well to not gamble before so don't feel bad about things, you'll get back on track soon enough. I haven't been stopped that long so have no wisdom to pass on to you but I look forward to reading how you get on and I wish you well.

 

 

 

Thanks Amba. I wish you all the best to. How far as you along your journey?

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 11:22 pm
Oliver
(@oliver)
Posts: 30
Topic starter
 
Posted by: c43h

You could use a daily scoreboard.

Me                                  Casino

0                                      350:-

Why? Because when you realise that you are into chasing but still spend back every penny and any wins, your brain tends to lie or goes into serious denial to keep the circus going and if you let your brain get away with it, you will continue to chase. The scoreboard is thus a reality check. 

Is it a trigger for more gambling? Not if you understand that you're chasing just to gamble, but if you think that you are going to score big and solve all your problems with that one big win then this is not for you.

I would try and look at mindfulness as a tool. Sounds boring as heck I know but it works if you master it, and it sure beats these horrible explosions of angst that rock bottom generates so there has never been a better time to get a new skill than now.

Best

C

 

 

 

 

Thank you C. Anything beats the angst feeling!

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 11:25 pm
Oliver
(@oliver)
Posts: 30
Topic starter
 
Posted by: mikethelion

Its a really tough one to conquer- harder than the class a's in my experience and so easy to access these days. Just think how youre going to feel tomorrow after you've lost- or worse still you win and double your losses the next day. There is only one its going to end - you already know it but the feeling is eating at you. Don't let it. Go for a run or something like that and get the endorphine rush and the self satisfied feeling of not giving in to it. We're all here because we know the feeling, and its ended badly for all of us. Just....don't.

Hi Mike,

You are bang right about the battle - it’s tough. One I’m up for. As you say it’s so easy to access these days which is what I’ve blocked. I do a bit on f running anyhow so now I will have more time to focus on this than looking at my phone for football and other sporting scores! I wish you the best.

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 11:28 pm
Oliver
(@oliver)
Posts: 30
Topic starter
 
Posted by: JPG1981

Hi Oliver, you can beat this mate, It really is such a bad addiction but focus on something positive and what I personally have found that helps me is I gamble on football and predict what bets I am gonna put on in advance, don't check up on what bets you were going to place, you are worth so much more, I wish you every success in conquering this addiction

Thank youJPG for the advice. Wish you the best as well.

 
Posted : 7th December 2020 11:30 pm
Oliver
(@oliver)
Posts: 30
Topic starter
 

Day 1 complete! Managed to not gamble. Horrible day. Mind constantly purring over how stupid I was too lose the money these last few months which caused anxiety through the day. Didn’t give in. Tried to think and be  positive but hard. I’m lucky in one sense that I have a really busy job as this helps take my mind off thinks and have colleagues to interact with who cheer me up. 

Anyhow onto Day 2 tomorrow. Hope I can sleep tonight to get a clearer head. I will win!

I had an alcohol addiction and beat this. (Not touched for 7 years.) Very true how they say one addiction replaces another. 

Thank you to everyone on here who has messaged and I wish you all the best as well. Helps me posting as makes me more determined not to let you all down!

This post was modified 3 years ago by Oliver
 
Posted : 7th December 2020 11:37 pm
Amba
 Amba
(@amba)
Posts: 89
 

Hi Oliver. Well done on your 1st day. I hope it carries on like that for you. As you say, it's a huge help having a job that completely takes you out of yourself. You can end up living from inside your head and that's not always good !  I have only really managed not to gamble from around the 18th November so it's early days. I do hope it gets better. It gets to the point of which is worse - the torment from trying to refrain from gambling or the torment from the regret that follows on from giving in to the desire. The pain of regret is harder to deal with so that kind of seals the deal. It was really surreal logging on yesterday and seeing you had had a reply from Signalman as I often have thought how he had been doing. Like yourself he replied many times to me and that helped me loads when I was first registered under a different name. What a brilliant guy he is. I wish I could have a re-read of his diary but don't know how to find it. Anyway, sorry for waffling on, this thread is all about YOU and it's great to see you've had such a lot of positive and wise feedback. Keep going !!

 
Posted : 8th December 2020 2:41 am
Si_mon
(@si_mon)
Posts: 136
 

Hey, just wanted to say hello and wish you all the best.

 
Posted : 8th December 2020 10:51 pm
Oliver
(@oliver)
Posts: 30
Topic starter
 
Posted by: Amba

Hi Oliver. Well done on your 1st day. I hope it carries on like that for you. As you say, it's a huge help having a job that completely takes you out of yourself. You can end up living from inside your head and that's not always good !  I have only really managed not to gamble from around the 18th November so it's early days. I do hope it gets better. It gets to the point of which is worse - the torment from trying to refrain from gambling or the torment from the regret that follows on from giving in to the desire. The pain of regret is harder to deal with so that kind of seals the deal. It was really surreal logging on yesterday and seeing you had had a reply from Signalman as I often have thought how he had been doing. Like yourself he replied many times to me and that helped me loads when I was first registered under a different name. What a brilliant guy he is. I wish I could have a re-read of his diary but don't know how to find it. Anyway, sorry for waffling on, this thread is all about YOU and it's great to see you've had such a lot of positive and wise feedback. Keep going !!

Hi Amba,

Thank you for your reply. Well done on being gamble free since the 18th November. Great work.

You are bang right about the torment from gambling which it leaves behind being worse than the torment of trying not to do it. 

Signalman what a guy he is. Must have helped so many.

Do not apologise for waffling on as you are not. I really appreciate the words and guidance and make sure you talk about yourself. We are in this together!

Day 2 done today. Didn’t sleep well last night with all the churning in the mind. Made it through. Busy day in the office again then went for a run tonight with my mate. Watched the football after which I normally would have been straight on my phone looking for a bet but for some reason didn’t tonight. Long may it continue. 

Did you struggle with sleeping and anxiety at all from it?

Best wishes and keep going to.

 
Posted : 9th December 2020 12:11 am
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