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Relapse in Recovery  


im 34 yrs old I’ve been gambling for a number of years, it was all fun and games from a early age £10 on the weekend football accumulators nothing serious, in the mid to late 2000s I was introduced to the fobt machines and won £40 from putting a quick £5 in the machines and thought wow this looks easy and I got hooked instantly I would win and lose but didn’t have a real serious problem because I wasn’t playing big money but I was playing a lot regardless and that became a slow growing addiction, the last 3/4 years have been the most difficult I got a big wins online for a few thousand spent it on gifts for myself and family all was good I was in such a high, but then I kept chasing big wins again and again since and my stakes started getting larger and larger I would lose £1500 in 20mins some nights and promise never to play again, I would stop for a few months and then give into the urges and play again I would win and build my balance up over a week and lose it all and more on top of that this happened for a year or 2 maybe same cycle, and now I have gamstop in place to restrict my online play. I have also put blocks on bookies and self excluded, recently I been watching too many streamers on YouTube playing slots while I was in recovery mode and that gave overwhelming urges to play, I live in a seaside town there’s arcades and that’s where I went today, I went with £100 and left my wallet at home so I couldn’t access anymore money, I lost that £100 playing kings Honour in like 15mins and drove back home grabbed my wallet and lost additional £500 playing various other slot games..I couldn’t believe I done this I thought I was getting better,, but from watching these streamers on YouTube I was triggered again I couldn’t wait until lockdown to end so I could hit a jackpot, this has happened to me before so I was sure I wouldn’t make this same mistake again but I did.. maybe I need some more help in my recovery and learn better in dealing with overwhelming urges, we know the outcome as gamblers but we still make the same mistakes over and over and I find that quite frightening.. 

Posted : 4th December 2020 9:05 pm
Forum admin

 Hi , Jermaine123

Welcome to the Forum , well done and thanks for your post this evening. With the right help and support many people are able to stop gambling. The forum and chatroom can provide peer support, It can be really helpful to read about the experiences of other people who are in the same situation and it can also help you realise that you are not alone in this.

It's great that you know the triggers and have strategies in place for prevention such as Gamstop and self exclusion from the bookies , this can all really help. 

Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.

Please continue to post on the Forum , it's all confidential and anonymous and can aid your recovery journey. 

All the best 


Forum Admin 


Posted : 4th December 2020 9:19 pm

Hi Jermaine

Bad couple of years for me also with slots, online and arcades.  Done Gamstop and Gamban and put money monitoring restrictions in place.  I watch streamers now.  I can’t decide whether it helps to watch slots without spending money or whether it is building up an urge to imitate if the opportunity arose.   

I do like some of the streamers....mainly earning their money as affiliates.  But I just wonder how many people have thought it looks cool and easy work and have lost big time after just a few streams.  Many, I’m sure!



Posted : 5th December 2020 12:35 am

As a recovering gambling addict and someone that wants to leave that dark horrible place, I strongly advise from my experience watching these streamers only fuels our urges even more, if I didn’t watch***** hitting some big wins on YouTube I would of been £700 better of today, they are promoting gambling on there channels and it just influences vulnerable people like us to try our luck they make some games look so fun and it just hooks us in which just leads us back to the wrong path, we need stay way clear of everything gambling related in order to heal ourselves. Do things and watch things more productive instead of watching some low life’s feeding money into slot machines and poisoning our minds even more, we are better than that. I’ve unsubscribed from all gambling channels on YouTube because it’s like a alcohol addict watching other people drink at a bar how many times you gonna tell the bar lady no before you eventually give in..

hope your good and how long have you been gamble free?

This post was modified 2 months ago by Forum admin
Posted : 5th December 2020 9:58 am
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