Reading a few posts has pushed me to say hello.
I'm a compulsive gambler. I started about 3 years ago after listening to a family member brag about winning thousands and thinking..wow i need to try this! I can always remember being so good with money so it came as a shock to my partner when i confessed i had been gambling our savings away. Online gambling sites have been my best friends, my shoulder to cry and basically every emotion I had, id cheer myself up or celebrate online with a quick spin.
Gambling has not only lost me my money but the respect trust and honesty I had with my partner. Every promise I make that it was the last time ive broken as the urge to play is much to strong. I've lied about money, opened a single bank account so he can't see the deposits on the statements, i 'lose' my bank cards so he cant check, i borrow money to cover my loss then blow that trying to win it all back. I pray on the fact he's a nice guy to avoid the consequences and admittedly manipulate him into feeling sorry for me to divert the attention away to our now empty bank account.
Im so tired and sick of this feeling. I have this feeling right now as I know that in the morning i have to explain where my wages I received only yesterday have gone. I wish i had never started this... I wish i had closed my ears and not listened to the bragging family member (who is also a CG and attending GA meetings now) ironic!
Here's to addressing the elephant in the room...
It’s a sobering feeling knowing that this thing has so much control over you isn’t it? It’s so hard to break the cycle I am not expert and have been on this merry go round for more years than I care to remember my only advice to you is if you are sick to the back teeth of it you will have a better chance to quit for good. You have to come to terms with the fact you can NEVER gamble again (this is one I struggle with) and be at peace with it. Good luck on your journey
We are pleased that you are able to get support from our forum. You have opened up about your gambling and this is a very positive step in recovery. Feel free to contact us on our helpline 0808 8020 133 or Netline for a one to one chat with an adviser. There are many things you can do to restrict your access to gambling, and we can talk through treatment options.