Not sure I WANT to stop

You wouldn't be on this forum if you didn't know the answer to that.

Hi deontaywilder. I'm liking the name !! I'm in the " you should stop " camp. Debt....payday loans....keeping secrets....daily gambling. All the hallmarks of a compulsive gambler, my advice is simple give up now....before you do feel out of control.....before the loses become huge.....before you risk your relationship with lies and deceit. Self exclude from whatever your method is bookies? Online? Read stories on here of just what gamblers lose and it's not just about money. Use the horror you will inevitably feel as some people's stories really hit you, to turn your life around. Best wishes

@deontaywilder You have to want to stop. Despite my life being ravaged by gambling, I'm not against it, I just accept that I have a problem. 

I think you're kidding yourself that it's just a habit, and I use habit as the second stage of this illness. For me it goes hobby, habit, problem, pathological. As @charlieboy said, if you're lying and using payday loans then I'd suggest it's more than a habit. 

You could try this but it means being honest with yourself and on here. Now don't worry, there's going to be plenty of opportunities later, but you could see if you could go a month without a bet. Try it and at the end of the month decide if you want to carry on with abstaince or return to gambling? Now if you can't make a month then ask yourself why can't you stop and if it's making your life unhappy then maybe you decide you want to stop. Then we can talk about how to stop.

I'm never going to condone controlled gambling for a problem gambler, it can't happen for someone with an addiction. What do you think?

Chris.

You have received some very sound advice Deontay but only you can decide which road you will take.

I personally do not see a problem with anyone having a sporting bet and if that person has a good knowledge of the sport than all the better.

However, if one resorts to pay day loans, credit card transactions and debt than I think alarm bells should start ringing.

You stated that you "racked up a fair amount of debt" but than you won a lot and paid off half your debt. Some might argue that is not a great achievement.

We have all been there Deontay. Lost money and than won it back and it makes us feel like we could row the Atlantic but maybe next time you wont be so lucky and the debt might become a bigger debt and than the world comes crashing down around your ears.

Happy Days!!!!!!!!

Aum   Aum   Aum

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Hi DW

I think you know the answer. The answer is the look on a loved ones face if you were to explain the payday loans and the credit cards. If you are totally honest with them about the stress ride that is gambling the truth will set you free.

You show all the signs of heavy addiction. Its a confusing complex addiction. I was hooked for forty years before finally admitting to the problem. When addicted its way beyond the money. It works in just the same way as class A or any substance addiction...the hook and then the dependence on it just to feel alive...only when a Heroin addict looks in a mirror its actually wasting them away....just like gambling!!

Gambling is NOT an income scheme for punters like us...well its just not an income scheme statistically. The vast majority of people will lose and the gambling dens are not taking the real risk.

Your addiction is playing with your mind. You mention debt. You would have had no gambling debts if you never gambled.

You need to leave it alone and follow the advice to do the cold turkey. With a healthy mind you wont miss it. Thats the key point...your mind is addicted so it is ill and unhealthy.

There is no shame in reaching out and admitting it. It got to millions of people so you are not alone. Its designed to be highly addictive and it should actually be illegal. We all know why you have not been protected from it and its called a government in on the take

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

I think you know the answer only you can decide to stop gamcare can help but you need to want too read the stories on here  see if you can relate to any of them then your know but hide it from your family is the first step in to murky World of a gamblers life take care                             
  Scotty ??

It's not about enjoyment or non enjoyment. It's not about runs of success and runs of failure. It's not even about winning or losing. It's all about control. Your control over yourself. If you can bet on the football and win or lose stay in control so it does not negatively affect the other aspects of your life then there is absolutely no problem here. However...

if you have had to resort to credit cards or payday loans to fund your gambling then that's as clear an indication as you are likely to get that at times your gambling is beyond your control and you become a danger to yourself. 

So to answer your question, my opinion is that you should probably stop but of course ultimately it is down to you to make the decision.

Thanks for all the replies. You are all right, there was an element of denial there. 2 months (and a few more losses later) I have decided now is the time to try to stop...but gradually.... I wont lie to myself and say I'm stopping forever, from today. I will set some new limits on my account for a few weeks and see how that goes. Maybe a fiver a day deposit limit. Its not enough to really hurt me more but also will keep me from experience major withdrawals - especially during lockdown when there less distractions .

I feel like if I suspend my account completely it will just push me elsewhere. 

@deontaywilder We can make our recovery as easy or as difficult as we want. I suggest that you will continue to be in denial until you accept that you have had enough of gambling. 

I'm sure there as those that think deposit limits are a good idea, and for a non problem gambler they probably are, but what happens when a fiver a day isn't enough? You just go onto another site. If you accept that you cannot control your gambling, and if you are on this page I suggest that you cannot, then deposit limits are just slowing the point in your life when you hit a rock bottom moment. The sadness of it is that you could have that moment now, without the rock bottom moment, and decide that you'll try to give up totally. Just for today though. Just don't bet today. Say that every day and just don't bet on that day. 

Or don't, and try it your way.

I'll be here to help you if your way doesn't work.

Chris.

Thnks for your comment. After 3 months it turns out you were 100% right and I've lost every penny. Ended 2020 like a runaway train out of control.

So you can now say that you are out of control. Are you now ready to put things in place to help you quit? Hope you are the ability to stop the carnage is in your hands. Best wishes