Newly Back After Quite Awhile, Feeling Gutted, Need Support to Quit for Good

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Jenilee
(@jenilee)
Posts: 306
Topic starter
 

Well, I am back and I know it’s been a very long time.

When I first started the journey with GamCare, I was open and honest in admitting that I knew something needed to change, but was not sure I could accept the idea of quitting forever. I was told by someone on the forum to “come back when I was ready to quit”. Although I still disagree with that statement, as I think all on the forum should be welcomed if seeking support in figuring out problem gambling, I can now state that I am trying to fully completely quit this nasty gambling FOREVER, because it is killing me and killing my other goals in life.

I have for the first time ever found good gambling blocking software for both my pc and smartphone, which works to completely block all access, and thankfully, COVID has put kibosh (temporarily at least) on going to casinos in person. I would like to use this time while in-person casinos are closed to try to stop, and to plan a good abstinence plan for when they eventually re-open, as I live in very close proximity to one.

Please, I would appreciate supportive comments, and any ideas....I have been battling this addiction for 10 years and am starting to feel like I will never kick it. I get discouraged that I can't do this, because never succeeded in quitting before, but want to quit forever now, so so so badly........Please, help me keep my thoughts and actions strong…Jenilee

 
Posted : 2nd December 2020 2:02 pm
Winterishere
(@winterishere)
Posts: 67
 

Hi Jenilee

I'm pleased that you've decided to start your recovery. As you know, quitting for good really is the only way to do it. Partly curbing your habit doesn't work because gamblers can't control their impulse. We've all trued and failed a million times. I really hope you do well. It's bloody hard though. I've been wanting to go back for a last go on reels of gold or King's ransom but I know that if I do it will start up my daily urges to go again so I'm sticking to abstinence and focusing on other things. Really hard but worth it when I think about what I've achieved in 190 odd days.

All the best x

 
Posted : 2nd December 2020 2:54 pm
Jenilee
(@jenilee)
Posts: 306
Topic starter
 

Wow I am inspired by your 190 days! I know this will be hard. What has helped you? 

 
Posted : 2nd December 2020 6:43 pm
(@adam123)
Posts: 2795
 

Hi I used to go to casinos too, when the one in question re opens all u have to do is go into it and ask to sign up to the sense casino exclusion programming.  U have to go in to join which is a bit worrying but I went in with my parents so I wouldn't be persuaded otherwise.... They then take a photo of u and u then can't go into a UK casino for the length u sign up for ( I did maximum).  Now this was about four years ago for me and I've not been in a casino that whole time....It may have expired for me now but I'm not going to visit a casino to find out!!!! Remember to take a friend with u as I'm sure the person in the casino would rather you spend some more money with them then sign up to it.  They asked me "are u sure" which if I was on my own I'd have just carried on gambling there.  All the best you might also wish to exclude from bookies and use gamstop for online as when one avenue closes and u want to gamble another one opens in my experience. . At the end of the day I went thru every avenue thru the years and ended up on pub fruit machines and pub poker (which u can't exclude from) at that point u just have to decide that gambling is not for you and be strong. .. Over three years now and I gambled 600 pounds in 2018 which was great low number for me! Then 140 pounds in 2019 even better then this year 2020 ZERO GAMBLING HORRAY.  U just have to want to change your lifestyle completely and choose a life away from thinking about money soo much.

 
Posted : 2nd December 2020 6:59 pm
Si_mon
(@si_mon)
Posts: 136
 

Hi Jenilee, you need to attempt to cut off the ability to gamble be that through software or enrolling in exclusions (as Adam mentions above). I wish you all the very best, you can do this!

 
Posted : 2nd December 2020 8:31 pm
 Han
(@han)
Posts: 15
 

Please can I ask what the soft wear was that you used on your phone. My partner is addicted to phone gambling on slot games and always seems to get invites back and cannot resist it.

good luck in your journey 

 
Posted : 3rd December 2020 8:54 am
Jenilee
(@jenilee)
Posts: 306
Topic starter
 

GamBan is now on my phone and laptop and it only costs like $2.49 Per month. Very affordable AND effective!! 

Today will be day 2 with no gambling....., still trying to work with my bills to figure out how to get caught back up and deal with the financial fallout (returned bill payments etc.) ...realizing these embarrassing And STRESSFUL financial Issues are all that gambling has ever really “given” me, when you get past all of the illusions. 

 
Posted : 3rd December 2020 1:16 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Hi Jenilee and welcome back.

Yes keep your fighting spirit because you are going to use that to finally question why you need a casino or any of it in your life.

You are welcomed...very welcome but that person was just making you think about being fully ready to tackle an addiction that has affected millions of people. 

What has that casino done for you apart from taking your hard earned? Talk it through and keep talking about. Do you see it as entertainment or an income scheme?...what exactly because once the addiction takes hold you have no control and constantly crave it

I just see them as seedy places with their smoke and mirrors forms of gambling.. People trying to place late bets with sly glances and grim expressions on their faces..none of it is a soft option, its not a  James Bond film and all the risk is with you.  The casino owners are not risking their household money but you are...its not even a fair challenge...do you understand? 

You need to be shown what you are buying for the casino owners whether thats a financial company or a Mr big. You also need to understand what a pea under one of 36 polystyrene cups looks like until it bores you senseless...under a thousand or more cups if youre playing the slots..nothing in there is an easy deal...do you think they would run it as a steady income for punters?

It is about being ready to stop and the reality checks sharp enough to counter a powerful addiction. You dont need it in your life so you have to question why you craved it. A gambling addiction is a drug addiction more than anything...well it is a drug addiction in the way it acts.

Abstention is about having a surge of pride and self respect to walk in there and ban yourself...or phone them.

Abstention is clean living to save the money you have left. If you get it done then you can start to recover with help and support.

Can you tell someone close about it because the help and monitoring you can get is very important

You can never be complacent again but that is a positive statement against something that was designed to tempt you, hook you and alter your mind

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 3 years ago 2 times by Joydivider
 
Posted : 4th December 2020 11:22 am
Jenilee
(@jenilee)
Posts: 306
Topic starter
 

Thank you for all the replies and support and I understand the hard truth I know understand them that’s why I now want to quit completely I already said at the beginning of this post/thread that I know I want to “completely and my mind has been changed. I do have a much stronger desire to totally quit and realize it is nothing but a sham. Thank you for helping to keep me strong and all replies and posts are appreciated.Still have not gambled since the first day I posted back on here and honestly the desires and urges are coming as expected, but they are fleeting and in a way I know that they are just trying to learn me back in instead of believing that they would lead to anything good. I know there will be urges and struggles and I need to make plans to avoid them but I am 100% on board with wanting to quit this time, trust me. So now I just need the support in the quitting not the explanation of why I need to quit, because I totally get that. Happy Friday everyone.

 
Posted : 4th December 2020 3:45 pm
Jenilee
(@jenilee)
Posts: 306
Topic starter
 

Sorry for typos above I had to use talk to text as my finger is cut and sore today. Hope the post above did not sound negative I do appreciate all replies just explaining where my mind is at now. Best wishes to everyone and as I said happy Friday!

 
Posted : 4th December 2020 3:47 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Thats a fine reply...dont worry about typos and keep talking about things. Please keep reading the forum and try the chat room if you want. Please ring gamcare for a one to one voice and see if what they can set up interests you

Please keep reinforcing your mind with truth exercises. Find people you respect and and talk it through. Talk through a gambling session from start to finish...it wont make any sense beyond your addicted mind. Its a complex addiction and it does you no harm to keep learning about it

You are better than gambling. You have better things to be doing and its about strengthening and educating the mind to think positively.

A key point is continuing to tell people where your mind is at during recovery. There is no shame in admitting to something that affected countless millions of people.

You were never alone and that is the scale of the misery that gambling has caused.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

This post was modified 3 years ago by Joydivider
 
Posted : 4th December 2020 8:14 pm
Jermaine123
(@jermaine123)
Posts: 3
 

I honestly believe gambling changes something in our brain it continues to have a long term affect on our thought process and if we stop gambling for a while there’s always something that triggers those urges to return and for a short time we forget about the damage it does to us and we have a quick flutter. YouTube streamers triggered me recently and I done £700 in the arcades, to get better we need to stop everything and anything gambling related and find a new positive addiction maybe gym or video games even shopping anything is better than gambling .

 

 

 
Posted : 5th December 2020 10:15 am

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