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Ineedtosortthis
(@ineedtosortthis)

Hi,

first time signing up and posting.

lifelong gambler trying to stop for good.

30yrs old 3 kids, married and and home owner. Yet I feel the need to risk loosing it all through gambling.

i underwent some mental health issues over the last 9 months, parents separated the premature birth of my twin children, father having a heart attack and me a cancer scare.  

This is when my gambling really took control, I went from having money in the bank and spare money to treat my family to now having 25k worth of debt all in a matter of months.  

I managed to stop for 3 months and I was a lot happier then 2 weeks ago I had a bet and I haven’t gone a day without since. In that time I’ve managed to loose 2.5k in overdraft.

tonight I came close to driving my car off the road in a  bid to end it all, it’s all getting on top of me now. They shame the embarrassment.

too scared to tell my wife for the fear of her leaving me and not seeing my children.

lost and don’t know where to turn..

gambling has ruined my life

 

 

Quote
Posted : 6th November 2019 9:45 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi @Ineedtosorthis,

Thanks for sharing here, and welcome to our online community- I hope you find it a supportive and helpful space.

I am sorry to hear about what you have been going through. It seems you have been going through a very tough time and problem gambling is having an extremely negative impact on your wellbeing. Please know that you can call us on our free confidential helpline 08088020133, or chat to us over our Netline here on the website. We are open 24 hours a day and you are not alone. Samaritans are also available 24 hours on 116123, if you have more thoughts like you did this evening.

People beat problem gambling every day with the right support. Debts are temporary and you can pay them off. The most important thing that you get the right support in place to help you through this time. We can also refer you for one-to-one support through the helpline. If you are happy to provide your number one of our advisers can call you whenever is convenient and talk through support options. You can send your number to [email protected] alone with a convenient time to contact you.

Kind regards,

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th November 2019 10:30 pm
Magsy
(@magsy)

Hi Ineedtosortthis,

Please listen to Forum Admin and get support. 

I too was at a very low point wanting to end it all cos that seemed the only way I would stop gambling. But I think we both know that our children would much rather have a gambling addict for a parent than a dead parent.

It is shameful and embarrassing having to admit to being out of control - a gambling addict- and ask for help. But necessary. 

It'll start you on the path to becoming the person you want to be.

Good luck, I know you can do it xxx 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th November 2019 9:32 am
Busterbear
(@busterbear)

hi  in the need

I’m the same as you always gambled but only what I could afford but the last few months I’ve lost all savings my dad left me and feel sick every day because of the feeling I’ve failed him I’d never had savings till he passed away he was only 58  but play as feel need to put some back to make things right !  And unfortunately the answer isn’t suicide although I live with this feeling every day of wanting to go .  I lost my sister:best friend to it 7 years ago and also I understand she couldn’t take this life no more because of situations... and the devastation it lives behind is worse than what this addiction is doing to me now . You did very well for the 3 months hope you find the strength to do it again . I promised myself I wouldnt go on today but no will power ... sounds  like accuses but gambling is the one thing that gets me through the day .. but my days are getting s*****r  also I can’t tell partner cause he will make me leave and don’t want my kids to know what a failure I am 🙁 

take care 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th November 2019 3:22 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi Busterbear,

Please don't feel you have to battle on without extra support. We are glad that you are using the forum, and if you haven't done so already, please think about having a one to one supportive chat with an adviser on our helpline or netline. We are ready to listen and to provide you with our best personalised help and guidance.

Best wishes, Fiona

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th November 2019 9:59 pm
Busterbear
(@busterbear)

thank you 

it is a battle constantly 

feel so stupid but still do it cause I’m reality I can’t afford to put money back my wages only cover bills and when partner finds out ...he hates gambling he will either ask me to leave or suggest getting another job to cover debts but mentally with what I go through I can’t handle people... 

Thanks for replying x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th November 2019 9:41 am
Ineedtosortthis
(@ineedtosortthis)

Thanks for the kind words! 

I didn’t think coming on here would help me but the knowing of others in similar situations does make me feel I am not alone! It is just good to speak to other people who don’t judge and understand what we’re goimg through.

took the decision to tell my wife about my situation last night, I was extremely worried as she too hates me gambling and new she would feel let down. I was surprised by her reaction as she was very supportive and understands with my issues this year I have been effected.

she thanked me for telling her and said she will support me through it together.

i hadn’t told her for months as I felt she would leave and I felt so alone. So glad I decided to take the risk and told her. Who could blame her if she did leave but I couldn’t live a lie anymore.

we have taken steps to start to clear/sort my debt out and I haven’t had a bet in 2 days. I even went to a shop next to a bookies to get lunch and although tempted I did not go on. It gave me a sense of achievement. Although small I guess these are the little things we can use as motivation!

each small step at a time.

 

thanks to those who took the time to comment, it is appreciated. 

Stay strong we’re not alone

ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th November 2019 5:12 pm
Busterbear
(@busterbear)

Well done 

it must of been so hard  but so pleased for you that’s she’s standing by you

i told myself last today I wouldn’t gamble but failed by 10am 

I hope I can find the strength you did and talk to my partner soon cause chasing my loses (slots) is crippling me 

and the guilt is awful 

take care x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th November 2019 9:43 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Hi,

Gamblers are no different to drug addicts. We're addicted & have a toxic relationship with money. Admitting this is hard but the only way to stop fuelling addiction is to hand finances over to a trusted wife/ partner/friend. Self exclusion is a must. There ain't no easy routes or short cuts because we're simply not in control of the addiction IT CONTROLS US make no mistake. There's lots of success stories on here, read their posts & take notice of how they went from a life of despair to living a life of optimism, happiness, & a bright future. Read as many posts as possible, tales of those who have lost their families, had their houses repossessed, the one's who's children no longer even acknowledge them in the street when they pass. I used to dwell so much about how much gambling & addiction have cost me. I've a wife & family who've supported me still even though i was never there when they needed my support because of my addiction. Only now do i realise how wealthy i am despite my addiction. I've got love & support money can't buy.

 

Best Wishes

AL

This post was modified 4 days ago by slowlearner
ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th November 2019 11:30 pm
Busterbear
(@busterbear)

That’s lovely glad your beating this habit x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th November 2019 12:30 pm
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