New to Gamcare

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(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Hi guys, new to GamCare here. I have struggled with a gambling addiction since the day I could walk into a shop and buy a scratch card, im 29 now, so it's been a long and exhausting 13 years! I've tried to stop so many times and I've had so many relationships suffer because I can't stop, but I just cannot bear the thought of losing my current partner and kids to this addiction, it is in no way worth it. She knows to an extent how bad it is and has supported me in trying to overcome it, but I've slipped up again in these last 4 days and I am right back at square one. I know she wants to help and it's great, but I don't honestly think she has any concept of how difficult it is, especially when it has been all I have known for the last 13 years. She thought if we just put things in place, like me transferring my money to her and us making notes of what was being spent and on what, it would stop it, but as we all know, gamblers will do anything when we're in the hooked state. We lie about where our moneys gone, how much we've spend on this and that, lie and say how I've paid my dad back the £250 I owed him so I can explain why I'm also £250 down from what I had yesterday. And this is the place I'm in now, hiding, not being truthful, trying to do the quick maths in my head to see what outgoings I can make up so it makes what I have left look legit. It's exhausting, I feel like s*** because I'm being deceitful to someone I love, but I'm also s*** scared about being truthful because the thought of her leaving me is worse than the thought of any financial loss, so I know now that I need professional help or a support system that understands what I'm going through, because all these years of trying to go alone just isn't going to work. 

Sorry for the long post, just been a long few days for me and needed to tell someone that I know wouldn't shake their head and judge me! 

 
Posted : 16th April 2019 11:31 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi there.

I’m new myself and reading other people’s stories really helps, knowing we are not alone.

Maybe take the positive that your partner already knows, to an extent & work on finding a way to tell them you are still doing it. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, go into the extent (unless they ask in which case you might want to be prepared how much you want to tell them about that) but you could maybe say, that you know they know about your gambling but your still struggling and you really appreciate their help and it’s great knowing they are there for you, but you know you need some professional help and you are going to seek it.

tell them the ways you are going to/getting help ie by talking to other gamblers on here, speaking to the chat advisers and finding local help etc.

Alternatively you could get help before telling them so when/if you do eventually tell them, you can show you are getting help and your serious about resolving your gambling problem.

Good luck! 

 
Posted : 17th April 2019 9:46 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Welcome to Gamecare, I am also new here. Hope we got here what we are looking for.

 
Posted : 17th April 2019 12:46 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Hi guys, good to meet new people 🙂

Yes definitely a good thing she already knows, makes telling her things that bit easier. In theory anyway! I did tell her today but she's got a lot on her plate herself the last couple of days so I think it will be something we'll talk about in a couple of days when everyone is more clear headed. I did speak to a lovely woman from GamCare today too who has given me some great advice and lots of choices in routes to go down to help beat this! 

Hopefully we will all manage to find some way to beat this!!

 
Posted : 17th April 2019 9:26 pm
Rams
 Rams
(@rams)
Posts: 27
 

Hi Riverruth, 

well done for registering and admitting you are a compulsive gambler to yourself & family.

If you have slipped after 4 days you are going to need to go to GA meetings on a weekly basis. Honestly it will be a huge help and support, you will never be judged and all is confidential. The hardest thing you will do is walk through that door but it will be the most rewarding! 

I am in a similar situation to your self, I am 29 I have been gambling 11 years. I started GA meetings after I told my family what was happening. GA meetings will help so much. I am now 72 days gamble free, if you want a healthy happy life GA will help you have a great life. You are still young & with a family like myself you will become a new man after the gambling stops. Give it a go.

All the best  

 
Posted : 18th April 2019 6:07 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

You are in the right place thats for sure , keep reading and keep your guard up Theres no quick fix be determined and speak to yourself . That may sound strange but its you that has to persuade you and nobody knows you better than yourself. John.

 
Posted : 18th April 2019 6:54 am
bdog
 bdog
(@bdog)
Posts: 305
 

Well done for registering.

You're not alone.  I'm now gamble free for 100+ days after 25 years of gambling everyday.  I check in almost every day and see others being successful and everyone being supportive when someone has a blip.

What's happened has happened. Move on. I know that sounds ridiculously simple, but it's the only way.

Get gamstop, don;t carry cards or money, ban from anywhere that you;d gamble at, get a new hobby! Keep coming here and keep sharing your success.

Registering was a big thing and the first step to success.  Keep going and start enjoying life again.

 
Posted : 18th April 2019 10:46 pm

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