New member. Relapsed again last night...

Sorry to hear about it! 

Now! Forget about the money you lost - you will never get them back, think - what can you differently this time so it would not happen again. Do something about it.

Tell your close ones so they can take over your finance, exclude from everywhere, put blocking software....do something different, more restrictive, otherwise you would repeat the same thing in few months time.

Hiya

It's awful this gambling malarkey, I've been a heavy gambler for 8 years and lost everything too, 2 weeks ago I said enough was enough and had 14 days gf, I felt in control and on top of the world, until Tuesday.

So I'm registered with gamstop and that's been my godsend, stupidly I knew my son had an account and guessed his password, I told him I was only having £20, he was fine. Well £20 turned into 500, feel like absolute c**P to be honest, why do we do it?? 

I have to put that behind me for my sanity and move forward, like you about 18 hours gf, now worrying about bills to pay

It's going to be a hard slog and I need to take each day as it comes and goes, but we can do this, it's do-able

Glad to say my son's closed the account!

I wish you every success, well us every success x

Thank you!

First thing I did was tell my partner and we have put further measures in place for prevention.

Unfourtunately I took my eye of the ball and thought I was ‘better’ forgetting the addict was still inside waiting for me.

Gamstop is in place for me, this time I used an account in my partners name so she has now also registered.

Last time round I spent 3 months with AA but never went to GA or counselling so I will attend my first meeting tomorrow and attempt to find a suitable resource for counselling.

Preventative measures have been put in place to limit my access to funds, this was something I didn’t do last time round.

First time using the forum as well so that’s already helping, 

I’ve also wrote a reminder of the money I’ve lost and how it’s affected me and those I love that I plan to read daily.

Thank you for you advice

Thank you for sharing and all the best to you too!

It never ceases to amaze me how sneaky the CG can be and they ways that we will find to gamble.

It seems the best thing we can do is to put these limits in place but they are not infallibe.

Taking the steps to work on ourselves from a counselling point of view and putting the work in at meetings is vital. I’m not sure I will ever be ‘cured’ so to speak and that’s the most important thing I need to remember this time around.

Hello fifteenthousand,

Well done for registering with GamStop and for planning to attend GA meetings and for planning to put financial boundaries in place to limit your ability to fund gambling activity.

You mention that you are planning to seek counselling too.  If you are based in Britain, please call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 so we can give you details for free counselling services near your area.  We can also give you details for free blocking software.

Take care,

Forum admin.

Thank you for your message.

I actually called yesterday afternoon and have already been referred . It’s an amazing service provided by gamcare and really helped having someone to speak to. 

Todays job is to visit the bank with my partner and restrict these finances ASAP.  I really should of done this last time but I tricked myself into thinking I wouldn’t need to. Finally realised I cannot trust myself which is quite scary but will hopefully ensure I can put the right safe guards in place and not slip up again!

Have a good weekend! 🙂 

Hello mate , none of us can trust ourselves regarding gambling so today you're taking positive and progressive steps well done now keep your guard up . John.

Thanks John,

A very expensive lesson that’s cost me more than money this time round.

My partner and I got engaged last month. She is now refusing to wear the ring and doesn’t want to get married. 

Not sure we can make it through this one but I’ve only myself to blame. ?

You're doing all you can, maybe your fiancée is feeling really hurt, hopefully with time she'll have that ring back on!

Good luck and stay strong

Thank you. I will do my best and will keep everyone updated. Hopefully there’s a happy ending. 

Just wanted to leave a quick update. Day four for me now, still haven't really left the house since what happened. I can't really face anyone or anything at the moment. 

Weird thing is, I know I could just bounce back and pretend nothing has happened. I have no association with money which is scary, so I don't really care about the money I've lost. Just doesn't feel like the right thing to do this time round so I'm punishing myself in other ways.

Been reading up more and more about personality disorders. Not looking good for me in that department. I've spoken to someone through this site and arranged a counselling referral. Not sure how long this process takes but can't come soon enough for me at this point. 

Probably not the best idea but I'm spending another day with my phone off and in bed watching War documentaries. I've no real desire to gamble but still can't get my head around why I'm like what I'm like. 

Day 5,

Small steps but my partner came in today and gave me a hug... (I have slept voluntarily on the couch since last Thursday) 

Was really what I needed and helped me just get my head back into the game. Went for a small walk today and also received a call to set up my phone interview for counselling on Friday. This is my main focus for the time being and I can't wait to start this. Cannot thank Gamcare enough for there help with this.

Also had my business banking removed from online banking. In addition to this I've put more measures in place to restrict access to funds. All positive steps so far but still only the beginning of the journey...

Have a good day everyone.

Posted by: Fifthteenthousand

Hello guys,

I’m in a awful state today after yet another relapse last night.

As with the emerging pattern, each relapse keeps getting worse. My main problem is slots. This time I’ve lost £... in less than two hours. Obviously this isn’t the first time and I’m terrified it won’t be the last.

I was slot free for 7 months before last night. I’ve now had to take out a loan that will take 7 years to pay back which will be just one of the repercussions of last night.

I only have myself to blame.

Theres a lot more to the story that I will look to share in the near future...

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Hopefully there will be some more positive posts from me in the coming weeks...

18 hours GF.

 

Hi

Sorry to hear you went back to gambling.

I did so many times before I understood  that Gambling was a form of escape for me.

When I was able to cope emotionally with people life and situations I would escape to gambling.

I was an evil person, I was not a bad person, I was not stupid or dumb, I was just emotionally vulnerable.

By going to meetings I started to value myself, I found that I no longer needed to live in fear.

By hearing therapies of different people I saw and heard myself in other people.

Gambling for me is not a healthy thing for me to do.

I can say that by attending meetings I am a much healthier person today.

The person I was on day one of walking in to the recovery is not who I am today.

Recovery means healing, I am a much healthier person than the person I use to be.

Recovery is about slow baby steps and taking one day at a time.

Handing over all finances made it much easier for me.

After all the money was the fuel for my addiction.

I Wish you well in your recovery.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Show your partner this diary mate, it may make her understand you are serious about wanting help and that this disease can be lethal.

good luck