Hi all, I am a 26 year old male living in London and I have been a problem gambler for 8 years now and it is crippling my potential and my outlook on life. Every pay cheque I have ever had has been an unbearable countdown to place bets. In the first few years whilst this was happening at university it didn't feel so bad I had many friends who were also betting with me and as we were all students we weren't exactly flushed with cash. However it seems after university they have been able to control or bury their habits whilst mine have only got worst. Even coming off online betting doesn't really help and you can just withdraw hundreds of pounds and bet instore, I don't have much of an interest in casino gambling just mainly sports betting. The worst effects are not even the financial ones, it is the mental and physiological ones. Gambling can be very time consuming therefore you burn things off with the outside world to perhaps stay in watch certain events that you have wagered on instead of going out and socializing. I also believe it had negative effect on my university grades, I passed but barely. It also nearly pulled me away from my family at one point when they saw a load of collection letters from payday loan companies, and I even somehow nearly spun it back on them relating to events in my childhood. Others do not see the mental fatigue and turmoil it can take on a person. I am 8 years deep into this and see no end. My family have no idea that I am back deep into this world, and my colleagues have no idea I am gambler - the battle that is going on my head is one that I am losing I know my life could be so much more however I feel like it is only going to get worse.
Hi... welcome to the forum.
I understand the mental fatigue that it can take on a person. I crossed over that invisible line into compulsive gambling at about your age and when I lived alone in London. Twenty years later am still alone and still struggling to stay stopped. I have spent my life lurching from one crisis to the next and have become even more reclusive and depressed. Initially I also "spun it back on my family" as if they had forced me to gamble, which of course they hadn't.
The thing is if you continue as you are your life will stay the same as it is now. Nothing will change, just more of the same. You will probably seldom go on a holiday unless other people pay, you may not be in relationships or if you are they won't last because the other half won't be prepared to put up with your gambling or you will prioritise gambling over them... and as you say you will keep your family at arms length because of the shame of how you feel about yourself and what you are doing.
Yesterday my neighbour asked me over for something to eat and a catch up. I went along and he says to me... so what you been up to mate?.. and do you know what I had absolutely nothing to say for myself, absolutely nothing. I couldn't think of a single thing. I wasn't gonna say... well I spend my time waiting for payday and then gamble it all away and then spend my time panicking about how I can survive until the next pay day. The thing is gambling addiction is so very sad and it makes the gambler feel so very sad
Am not gonna give any thoughts about practical barriers to gambling, cos you life in London and the opportunities to gamble are so vast but you gotta find it from within yourself to stop the path you are currently walking down before you reach my age and nothing has changed.
All the best, keep posting.
P.s... your family probably do know that you are back at it... because of your behaviours. Remember that they know you the best
That’s a nice response S.A. and you have just described my 50 years of life too. I remember chatting to you on this forum when I first joined in 2010. Like you, I also struggle to stay stopped. This is such a heartbreaking and crippling illness it really is. 7 years and six months I went without gambling and regularly attending GA meetings. I genuinely thought I had enough - I hadn’t.
Here I am, back on the forum once again with cries for help and support. So sad and like you, I hope so much this chap makes better choices than we have done to date. Wishing you both well, Simon.
Welcome
tomorrow I will be made officially homeless. Been in a hotel since my wife uncovered my gambling issue and the knock on effect is devastating to all involved. My family life was everything I could ever have wished for and it’s gone. No house, marriage, children, job, income and Xmas soon.
Stay strong
Stay strong yourself Simon and keep posting and reading. I feel for you very much as I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling. I will pray for you, for me, for all of us to find a relationship with a higher power that we can trust completely to restore us to sanity. Simon.
Over the past few weeks I had planned to quit gambling, I was sure of this as I started thinking about the bigger picture and certain plans I had over the coming months, also recently I had started to listen to more podcasts just about mental well-being and happiness therefore I thought I was gaining a bigger perspective on life. However with a pay early function via my bank I was able to get paid on xmas eve and as soon I accepted my early pay cheque everything went out the window and I could not stop myself. Whilst everybody else around me was enjoying Christmas there was only one thing on my mind. Xmas eve through the end of Boxing day I burned **** which may not seem a lot however it has ruined my xmas but yet no one around has realized as this addiction has made me very good at concealing parts of my life away and effectively lying to my family. I am not sure how or when this is going to end, if I cant even stop myself at xmas then when can i stop? i dont think i can, i am a selfish person
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