Hi I have just found out my partner has a gambling problem. This has been going on for the last 8 months. I sort of had an idea and questioned him as our phone bill kept coming back really high and he had been gambling on online sites paying through the phone bill. I questioned this he just lied to me constantly, it wasn’t him, blamed it on our daughter, she must have bought games on the phone. I didn’t think there would be more to it but I found out Thursday he hasn’t been paying for our house for the last 6 months and has gambled the money away!
He has admitted on Thursday he has a problem and wants help. I am new to all this and don’t know where to start. I love him and want to help but feel really angry with him at the moment because of what he has done, we have 2 kids and he has ran up big debts I can’t afford to bail him out of!
I have taken control of all his money, taken bank cards etc got his money transferred to me. We have contacted GamCare for one to one support, is there anything else I can do, help him do etc
thank you x
The positive side is that he has admitted that he has a problem. But that’s the first step only. Addicts will do anything to get a fix. You have to be really strict with the access he has to money. Basically an allowance each day to cover a sandwich at lunch. If the car needs filling up with petrol do not give him the money either fill it yourself or check the gauge before he sets off and when he gets back. It sounds like he is lucky to have you. The bottom line is that to gamble you need money. Without it he can take the time to deal with the issues he has regarding gambling. When I have the urge to gamble I give what I would have staked to a close friend. They put it into a savings account. (I trust them implicitly) Watching it build up gives a sense of perspective. You will need to speak to your mortgage provider. It’s in their interests to keep you paying rather than re possessing. Hope this helps
You should get him sign up to gamstop which will block him from a huge number of online gambling websites. You may have his cards, but those cards are probably still hooked up to gambling websites therefore he could still deposit in a time of weakness.
Thank you for any help! I have made him sign up for gamstop! Didn’t know what that was but read about it on here and made him do it. X
I realise you must be really angry but try to talk to him and make sure he's okay. Bottling things up may lead to him wanting to gamble again.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
