New Day New Me

Day 24

No bets today for me been having s few cravings I guess you would call them about betting on some sport or other. I have no avenue but the gambler in me is trying to find an avenue to go further away where I’m not banned or get one of my gambling mates to put a bet on for me. I have resisted the temptation and will continue to do so but may have to stop watching some sports and check myself and my sense of cleverness if I was that good at finding the winners I wouldn't be in debt.

its a funny thing our opinion of ourselves there is still a part of me that doesn’t want to accept that I’m not clever enough to beat the bookie it’s mad considering how much money I have lost and how heavily the odds are weighted in their favour. Wake up and smell the coffee!

sorry for the personal rant have a good gamble free day everyone!

Day 27

First day off on my own today would almost certainly would have been a betting day couple of hours down the bookies and another couple at home watching some sport on the tv. Not today though done some grocery shopping prepared some dinner for later on, anything to avoid slipping.

Forever is a too big for me to get my head around so every time I think of gambling I ask myself what is the best case scenario yes I may win once, twice I may even have a good run but on the end it will all go back, no part of me can deny that so I don’t bet each and every day.

Hope everyone is having a gamble free one ?

Day 31 

Another day gone and not much to report gambling demon has been leaving me alone last few days so been very quiet. Going for an evening out with the mrs tonight so having a night away excited to be doing that and not really bothered how much it costs, makes a change.

Still coming off medication for long term injury so no alcohol for me tonight long term though my alcohol/ gambling relationship will have to be looked at because this is where sometimes the craziest binges lie when I’m out on the lash.

Anyway positive thoughts today have a good gamble free one everybody!

Day 33

Had a very nice evening away with the wife, then had the thought that I could have a little bet and win back the money that I had spent the evening before. Didn’t do it quickly shut it down but amazing the situation my mind will find a route to gamble. I was in another area and I must have passed 10 booked just being out and about. 
Another test passed have a good gf day everyone!

Day 35

My router in my home broke last night leaving me without internet, I live in a remote area so had to internet or phone use last night or this morning I actually read a book in bed for the first time in ages was a lot more relaxing than I thought it would be. Replacement will be here Friday so no long term fix, would have liked it to have been broken when I was losing my head 6 weeks ago ?.

Anyway another clean day living working towards a better future 

have a good gf day everyone 

Day 37 

Serious thoughts of gambling yesterday I had got a little free time and my mind wandered to wonder if I could get into a bookies I’m banned from? This disease is so debilitating it takes and takes, I am so programmed to fill any free time with gambling it is second nature and is going to take a long time to change that thought process. Resisted the urges and went about my day and did something marginally more productive (found out if the pub was open for the rugby on the weekend) but annoying that that is my default setting but what can I expect with decades of training?

I have more reason than ever to quit with another child on the way and I need to be a role model to my children, what kind of role model would I be if they found out about this part of my life?

have a good gf free day everyone I know I will

Day 41 

Had a day out on the beer yesterday watching the quarter finals of the rugby World Cup. This can sometimes be a gateway to gambling but had a nice day out watching sport and catching up with a mate who I have not seen in a while. No real thoughts of gambling and just enjoyed the time I had.

Not really much else to report still going strong and hoping to have another gamble free day today and tomorrow, have a good one everyone.

Day 47

Another few days chalked off generally feel it getting easier thinking less about actually betting still get the odd thought about wonder what price x is bit less thoughts about how I would go about betting on x if it was a longer price than I thought it would be. 
My brother is giving up gambling at the same time as me and leaning on him and him doing the same with me has been good for both of us I think. 
I havent really opened up to anyone about this and having a sponsor of sorts is nice but also quite depressing as part of me believes he only started gambling because his older brother was. I don’t know maybe it’s genetic and I get a pass a little confused on this subject.

One subject I’m not confused on is my resolution not to gamble and to give a better life to those I love.

Ne gamble free everyone 

Day 50

A milestone of sorts but a very small one in the grand scheme of things have a great gamble free day one and all

Hi Long Road and welcome to the forum.

I will stress to you that the start comes with the rock solid foundation of a born again moment with full honesty.

Beating this addiction has very little to do with willpower alone or saying this is a new me. It comes with the reality checks of your wife knowing and you surrendering to a higher force had you well and truly under its control.

I wont soft soap you because I care. You are using the words planning to and trying to which do worry me. You need the strongest of blocks now...The gambling dens are your total enemy. Write down again what they have taken from you and focus on what the big G has actually done to you...not the promises and lies they spin.

Your wife deserves to know. You may be scared of that but its nothing compared with what a gambling addiction has in store for you.

There is no shame in admitting it...yes its painful but you know why. It makes no sense to a non gambler and thats how ill our minds were

You need to do the cold turkey and then the days will rack up without the battle of counting each one. If you cant access your cash you cant gamble and your mind has the chance of healing.

Secrets and rushing ahead of yourself are not good.  Confidence can be misplaced as believe me this is an addiction waiting to get back at you on a wet tuesday afternoon.You need to find out who you are with full blocks and all the help you can get. Then you can carefully start thinking further ahead than a day or a week.

The power of this addiction is immense. It is a drug addiction so make no mistake about that. Its got d**n all to do with a cheeky flutter once hooked. Its ruining and killing people so you can count yourself fortunate that you are seeing the light

Your aim is a serenity to realise you cant do it alone and the reality checks are what you need. It is a serenity once you are truly ready..Its a good test because if you are not truly ready that serenity will be hard to find

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Day 56

Thanks for the input joy a lot of wisdom in your words. You are right I am scared to tell my wife it’s a horrible situation to be in because I don’t want to keep things from her but I also don’t want to lose her. That is what is keeping me going I know I can’t mess up again I can’t get more into debt I need to sort it as soon as.

I do use a lot of non committal words I can see this and that has to do with the attempts I have had before that failed, I feel stronger this time and feel I can beat this every day is easier than the last, this is not complacency but less time being spent thinking about gambling which leads to less time worrying.

Thanks for posting 

Day 62

Just checking in to say still gamble free and pretty healthy bar the sleepless nights with a 2 year old in the house. Thinking less and less about gambling have the odd day where I think about it for a moment but much less so than at the start of this journey. 
I have done more days than this in the past but don’t know why this time feels different but it is maybe I’ve matured enough to see this terrible addiction for what it is maybe it’s just ground me down to the point where logic has taken over, no more of my money for the betting sharks have a great gamble free day one and all.