Where to start I have a problem with gambling! that feels like the correct place. I have known this for a while and have tried to restrict myself in certain ways (online) and leave myself other less destructive avenues (getting off my backside and going to a bookies). I am registered with gamstop and this was working ok for me I was still losing money but not at the rate I had been anyway I had a medical issue which required surgery and had me housebound for 3 months a lot of which was spent alone and I was good for 2 months of this the last month has been a disaster I found a work around which I thought "Ill have a couple of quid to get some entertainment. The story is a common one to many on here I gambled day and night losing/ winning/ losing again I think my rock bottom was I had the surgery and came out I didn't want to see my wife I could not wait for her to leave so I could carry on gambling think I went to sleep at 4am having lost 2 grand that day. I have told the company involved that I am registered with gamstop I have given up the accumulators i had on there because they were me looking to keep this double life going. I am finished with it! this is not my first attempt but it will be the last my wife deserves better than me as does my child its going to take some time to repair what I have done but I am committed to this. I am planning to tell my wife when the finance are in a little better shape than they are at the moment I want to go to GA and the nearest one to me is 100 miles away so will need to come clean before I can do that. Thanks for reading NDNM
Each day your gf is a step closer to where you want to be in life, try to post how your feeling each day and when you think about gambling go back and read all your posts again it will remind you why you stopped.
Good Luck Chris
Day 2
First day back to work for me after a period of Ill health no thoughts of gambling today I’m sick of it to be honest. Trying to get the betting company to credit my open bets back into my account via email with not much success God these people are not nice. Anyway need to get away from negative thoughts and concentrate on a better me for my family.
Day 3
Some good news the open bets on my account have been credited back to me a drop on the ocean but every little helps! Another day in work today so thoughts of gambling far from my mind need to stay as active as possible this has helped before when I’ve put a long run of gf days together.
My bag is sports betting and any sport will do in fact there are only 2 sports I watch that don’t have any relation to gambling football and MMA everything else I enjoy because of betting, it’s a sad truth that if I wasn’t betting I probably wouldn’t watch these sports.
Anyway happy Saturday everyone.
NDNM
Day 4
All is well spending some time with the family today day off, genuinely knackered and don’t know if this is the comedown but feel I could sleep for weeks. Going to watch the footy later on as this is something I don’t bet on but coming to terms with the amount of money I have lost and going to have to get finances in order transfer to 0% for a bit to help pay off will get onto that tonight and see what can be done. Watched a tv programme the other day and a parent said every decision I make is to better my child’s life, make a 5 year plan and just stick to that mantra with every choice, that is what I am going to. No gambling today that is my choice.
Day 6
Another couple of days down been fairly surreal have consolidated some finances still can’t believe how stupid I’ve been this should help with the repayments I’ve got 15 months at a good introductory rate and hopefully I can put a big dent in it during this time, dependant on my spending being curbed.
I know this anger at myself will not last so must defend against complacency, but more importantly stick to my mantra when I am tempted.
anyway stay strong everyone!
Day 7
More thoughts about gambling today probably because I have refinanced and have all that money waiting to be gambled away, in reality I don’t and this is the start of me making good decisions with my money both for me and my family. Couple of days off now taking the little one swimming tomorrow which should be a blast looking forward to it the amount of times I’ve only half been at these things because I am on my phone checking scores is crazy distant because what I really wanted to do was get home and gamble. No more I say every choice must be for the betterment of my family.
Have a good gamble free day everyone!
Day 8
Had a really nice day today went swimming did a few chores had an afternoon nap which I wouldn’t have done had I been gambling there would have been too many horse races on!
I spend a lot of time thinking about doing the right things, yes I have moments where I think about gambling because I am trained to equate everything to odds and if it’s likely or not. But as soon as these things pop up I tell myself does doing that benefit my child and the answer is no so I carry on.
Anyway another day gamble free have a good one everyone.
Day 9
All quiet on the western front, nice day saw surgeon who operated on me today so was allowed to drive for the first time in 4 months! The small things in life we take for granted are the ones we miss the most when they are taken from us, felt cooped up and a burden when not being able to get around hopefully this good mood will last a while as it helps with my recovery.
No thoughts of gambling today another day safely tucked away stay gamble free everyone!
Day 12
Not been on here last couple of days been busy with work and trying not to think about gambling or the like. Get paid on Thursday going to service some debt with a little bit left over, this will be more than enough because gambling has made me very frugal with every other area of my life so living on very little is not a problem.
Not much to report apart from another day gamble free have a good one everyone.
Day 13
Why do gamblers gamble? A big part for me is thinking I can find an edge, now an intelligent person would realise that any edge has long gone as these bookies are massive money making machines think I saw that the ceo of one company made more than Ronaldo, messi and neymar combined.
So how stupid is it to try and beat this massively controlled system, I even have in the past turned my nose up at other forms of gambling mainly computer generated because “it’s all a fix” and without realising those same margins would be applied to the market I was betting on.
Anyway my musings and ramblings today I am committed to not gambling for today! Stay gamble free everyone.
Day 15
Pay day today no real thoughts of gambling been here a few times before feel really good and then something triggers the downward spiral. Can be boredom, stress, anxiety or a mixture of all 3 but It always starts with I’ll have a cheeky £10 to make it interesting and ends with thousands wasted.
Went out with the family today had a nice day and kept busy. Life is very near back to normal health wise and this is a great benefit because being at home alone with nothing but time was a disaster waiting to happen I realise this now and hopefully I can circumvent these pitfalls in the future of needed by putting adequate blocks in place.
I am committed to a certain amount of money being paid towards my debt which will leave me a small amount to live on but that’s fine by me for the tome being I don’t need any extra cash just in case I decide to drive 50 miles to somewhere I am not banned.
Anyway have a good gamble free day everyone!
Day 16
Another day off the list today, feeling ok looked at what sports were on today felt a tinge if sadness or melancholy that I couldn’t bet on those events. Very strange I hate what I have done to myself with this addiction and yet it has been such a big part of my life for so many years it is hard to replace. I know it is a time consumer when I shouldn’t have time, it is a drain on my financial resources and it makes me a lying piece of s**t but as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Not even remotely thinking of placing a bet but this seems to be the place where I can write my feelings while going through this.
Have a good gamble free day everyone!
Day 18
All going strong today the demon is on my shoulder at all times telling me to have that bet but I’m telling him no! This is going to be the time I straighten my life out and stop wasting all my fine and money on something that will ruin me.
That is all have a good gamble free day everyone
Day 21
Nothing much to report just checking in still on the gf train, got an invite to a Christmas racing works event this week already decided to cry off. Last year that day out cost me far more than I wanted to spend and that was me being sensible because I couldn’t go too mad on front of work colleagues ?
Crazy how I would just wash that one off a few days later and be back into the thick of it again but gripe about spending far less on something for my family, sickening really.
Have a good gamble free one!
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