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Hi Charlieboy

Welcome to the forum! Firstly, it is a big step acknowledging you have a problem so we’ll done - it is not easy. 

I guess first things first is do you want to stop? Or is it because you were caught?

Hopefully it has made you realise that if you have a problem that maybe you need help. I too was online bingo,slots and slingo. I loved them all or so I thought but what started out as fun turned into misery, sleepless nights and a ton of debt. Do you know the reason you gamble? A escape? Boredom? The money? 

Maybe a good place to start is to work out why you gamble? This is easier said then done but it can help. 

Maybe you could share a bit more of your story to give a bit better insight. 

Warm wishes

Lively

Hi livelysoul. Ty  for your reply. Well for a long time I have been filled with self loathing / anxiety/ guilt and the knowledge that time was running out for me. I still couldn't stop I felt a thrill if I won ,one night I was up £5000 I started off doing the right thing paid bills replaced savings id squandered etc. Left myself some to play with ............ U know what's coming next repeat the cycle and lose again. We had money in premium bonds behind my husband's back I cashed some in. He woke me early in the morning 3 days ago and asked me where our money had gone we had had an email saying we had won he logged in to see how much ...... I'm totally ashamed after 2 days of hell  I have confessed 20 years worth of lies and deceit. So in answer to your question the realisation of being about to lose everything has given me the courage to own it and ask for help. I am missing gambling already but I'm not missing lying remembering what lies I've told , trying to get to the mail first and on and on. So yes now I am ready.... Scared but ready

also I have some thoughts on the triggers etc . Tomorrow I'm going to put pen to paper see what things look like and share.  Ty for listening

Hi @charlieboy well done for being honest, it gets easier from here I would suggest you go on gamstop and block yourself! I did it 28days ago and it’s the best thing I ever did! This is my 3rd attempt to quit after my husband finding out, I nearly lost our home and him because I’d told him I’d stopped and continued to gamble online & lost both our wages in a weekend and then he opened the mail saying we were in arrears with our rent after he’d bailed me out and paid £900 arrears 3 months ago! Slowly the trust is coming back but you have to be honest with your partner, give him the responsibility of your finances and keep him informed about all money you spend etc it’s the only way! The benefits will quickly out way the negatives! Not to mention the fact that being honest will take a huge wait off your shoulders and stop you getting stuck in the cycle of lies and keeping track of lies and so on! Good luck in your journey

jadie 

Hi,

Your story it too similar like mine only different is he did not find out but I told him instead.It comes to the point that nothing left in our premium bond and we just about to go for our family holiday which we had no money left at all. He was fuming,very angry and disappointed of my behaviour.That was 5 years ago,  the problem is he doesn't know that I still gamble I broke the promise,live life full of lies. I have lost a chunk of money few days ago which made me realised that enough is enough I have to sort myself out before it too late. You can do it too,try to get away from all the gamble websites it only takes a second to get you back and when you on it you will lose all the money again.

Hi @jadiebby85 ty so much for your post struck so many chords. I have already done the gamstop. When does the craving start to go? I'm invaded by thoughts of all my favourite games that I want to gamble on but also I don't want to because I want to give up does that make any sense?? My husband as soon as he found out cut up all cards changed passwords etc  so all taken out of my hands already which is good he said to me " I don't trust u" my reply was " don't trust me I will do it again" first time I've been honest with myself let alone anyone else. I know it's going to be hard and some of my triggers actually are my husband and I actually managed to tell him a couple. I think I was able to tell him because I don't have to lie anymore if that makes sense. Good luck on your journey too I'm hoping you crack it this time. Hope to see more posts off you

Hi @ nono . I hope things start to go better for you. I am really taking on board what u are saying. I too spent our holiday spending money 2 years ago I borrowed off a friend without telling her why the spending money had gone so my husband didn't find out. But ultimately put strain on our friendship because due to my gambling it took forever for me to pay it back. Have u been able to get any insight into why u gamble? Anyways I am rooting for u that this time is different hope to see more posts off u

it’s part of the process, actually admitting it to yourself! Then others around you but on here there’s a cognitive behaviour course called gamchange I’ve been doing it for 4 weeks and it’s changed my perspective on it all! I’ve found it quite easy to quit as the options if I don’t is lose my husband and I don’t want to! I would say my husband is my trigger too but if you feel like you want to gamble I’ve been going on the forums and reading peoples posts or just getting up and putting the kettle on or going round the block for a quick walk or having a f*g just something to take your mind off it for that moment! Keep talking to your husband too, if it’s not that kind of relationship find someone who you trust and can talk to when you need to good luck xx

I'm glad you've got it all out in the open and as to why we gamble there can be so many different reasons but all with the same result. Depression lies always looking over your shoulders always looking for that win, but never being in control even when you've got a win it finally goes you just crave the feelings but when you realize you got nothing left and I mean nothing as that's what it does to you. I went a year without a gamble then on the 24th of April for some daft reason I thought I'd have a go off online roulette,  well 1hr later and I truly mean this I'd lost nearly  £8000 on my partners PayPal account with all my heart and soul I had no idea it was anywhere near that amount as I knew she only had £1000 in PayPal credit but PayPal paid the full amount out and hit my partners bank account accessing  £4000 she never even had as it took us over her arranged overdraft into an unarranged overdraft, well I done something really stupid and ended up in hospital for 5days. When I got out I was surprised my partner was allowing me back in the house but it was only for the benefit of the kids as she made clear. Well she managed to borrow money to put us back to the lower end of our arranged overdraft,  well I've been getting help and not been near gambling whatsoever, but we still owed PayPal  £4000 I asked them if they could give me sometime to sort my finances out. Well on Friday they took the money out off my partners account leaving us in a right state. The bank rejected all the payments apart from what we had in our agreed overdraft leaving us with  £26 to buy food pay our bills and just live. Well things are that bad I had to contact a church to drop us some food off. So now we have nothing and I've no idea what I'm going to do, the only thing I have left to lose is my family and I really think that's going to happen. How stupid could I be, it's a horrible addiction that can cause you so much in such a short period off time. There's only one winner and it's not you or me. I really hope you can get on top of this as it never ends good 

Hi@kevthekev40. I so hope things get better for you. The more I read on here the more I'm starting to understand how evil an addiction gambling is.everyone has a different story but the same themes run through everyone's story.And for every one of us who are in varying stages how many people are there out there that are suffering in silence. Truly shocking but you know what I'm going to fight this with everything I have in me. I'm finally awake !! , now I have to stay awake . I'm going to use every tool that's available to me to help and that includes keeping up with sharing and reading the posts. @kevthekev40 take care of yourself I wish you well and I'm hoping to see a post off you again soon.

Thanks for your concern 

I just wanted you to see how bad thing's can get and how quick. My story is a common one and in the end I will get it sorted but I've had people phone me today but things have just been that stressful I've needed a break so I've emailed them telling them I will phone tomorrow and try and get further forward as to be honest I can't go back any but I'm not on my own as I've got some important people working with me I can't believe how so many strangers have went out of there way to help me that makes me ashamed but humble at the same time. I've got to believe I will get there in the end but we're all in the same boat just different sizes. I wish you well and keeping reading and interaction as it keeps you real

Evening @Charlieboy

Hope you’re recovering well?

Hi@sillyboy1981. How weird is that I just finished reading your posts and here you are. I'm ok.....had some very unhelpful input from a family member today I know I deserve it but it still hurt like mad especially because I've helped this person with her own demons. I've made a decision I'm not strong enough at the moment not recovered enough I feel vulnerable so next time she decides to give her input I'm going to politely tell her to take her opinions somewhere else. I found your posts inspiring I'm proud of you and I don't know you!!. I had a wobble earlier and cried a lot but I didn't give in so last gamble last Thurs so does that make me day 5? I haven't been 5days without gambling in 2-3 years !!. Hoping that you carry on gamble free and carry on posting for us I was gripped reading

Ohh and the adverts when the fun stops stop are doing my head in . In one advert break last night 3 different gambling sites !!