I've gambled all my adult life and still find myself gambling now, it's my escape from a lot of my almost non existent responsibilities and provides me with an illusion of excitement. I've been trying to stop for 10 years now since I was 30, the longest I've managed is around 1 year. I usually last 3 weeks to a month for the last couple of years. I've had counselling, been to GA meetings for a couple of years, had a course of CBT through the national problem gambling clinic, and all kinds of help from parents. Just lost a months worth of bills that I'd saved by doing a load of work, will have to do a load more now before the new year. So many times in the last few months I've said I'll go back to a GA meeting once a week and start cycling or swimming again but haven't done any of them. Hopefully this time I'll stop making excuses and stop feeling sorry for myself and actually do something. I'm starting to really hate my miserable self. I seriously hate gambling and still do it, it's insanity.
I understand where you are coming from. Let's all work together to help one another. I wish you all the best in your recovery efforts.
Hello Needtochange
Welcome to the Forum where you will find support and non-judgmental understanding. For some the Road to Recovery is not straight forward, however, the main point is to never give up on the Journey. Please keep sharing your experience, strength and hope.
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If GA worked for you in the past, perhaps reach out to the Fellowship and attend a meeting, either in person or on Zoom. I am sure you will receive a warm welcome from your fellow members of GA.
Gamblers Anonymous run supportive meetings where problem gamblers sit together and help each other. There are no counsellors or professional bodies.
Wishing you all the best - One Day At A Time
Amanda
Forum Admin
Thanks for the kind messages. I was so low yesterday, I had a wisdom tooth extracted yesterday morning and needed my card to pay the dentist as they'll only take card payments. Instead of returning my card to my mum afterwards I went home, then in the evening decided to escape to the machines. I only intended on spending a certain amount but ended up spending 3 times more than planned which is almost all the money I had. Obviously I was tricking myself again. Today I'll get the Christmas presents I need with what's left and return the card. I won't tell my mum what's happened because it'll upset her to much and she doesn't deserve it. My plan is to get back on track by making some plans and following them through. I'll have to go and work over the weekend to get some money for the January bills. I'll then either contact the GamCare support line or get in touch with GA by Tuesday in order to set some longer term plans. Hopefully by writing this down I'll actually follow it through. First steps are to return the card and make a bit of money back over the weekend. Life doesn't have to be like this if I can eliminate the gambling.
Hi, sorry to hear what you are going through. What I pick up from this is you need to get some blockers in place like registering with Gamstop and installing Gamban on your phone if that is what you use to access the sites. Sign up to these for the max term of 5 years so that you cannot gamble when the urges surfaces. You say your mum has your bank card and only gave it to you to pay the dentist so contact your bank and get them to put a block on gambling transactions so what happened yesterday can't happen again.
You need all the help you can get to beat this so try and go back to GA and contact Gamcare
Hope this helps, all the best
Hi Bladesman, you're correct about blocks and seeking all the help I can get. I have many blocks in place but still manage to find a way to gamble a bit, admittedly the blocks do very much limit the loss amounts and frequency, unfortunately it's the slots I have a problem with and they seem to be everywhere. I will contact GA and GamCare and also take a trip to a large arcade that's open 24/7 to self exclude. It's almost an hour's drive away but does play on my mind sometimes so worth the trip.
I've returned my card today, done the Christmas shopping and earned back a bit towards January's bills. Need to earn some more towards the bills and take care of the above commitments over the next few days.
Could be enjoying a weekend off and resting after the tooth extraction but gambled for approx 2 hours instead in a room without any windows. I really don't think it was worth it!
Quick update. I self excluded from the arcade just before Christmas, my friend kindly came with me after having some food.
It took me approx 5 full days of work to earn back the money I lost in approx 2.5 hours.. 5 days.
Still haven't contacted GA or GamCare via the telephone, don't know why I'm always so reluctant.
Haven't gambled again but have started feeling a bit anxious and depressed. Maybe it's the addiction wanting me to feel this way so it can get what it wants. If so it'll pass given enough time.
On a positive note went out for a bike ride and plan to get out for another one soon.
Current blocks in place..
SENSE - all land based casinos
GamStop - all UK licenced online casinos
MOSES - all local and as many betting shops as possible
Self exclusions from all local arcades and services
Online only bank account (Starling) to stop any branch withdrawals. Card looked after by someone else but linked to Tesco pay for petrol and food etc
Hi, well done on your progress, you seem to have all bases covered.
Good luck
I was out working at around 9.30pm a couple of days ago near the arcade in my local town centre. Just as I was entering a store I heard a loud bang as a man who was clearly very upset and distressed slammed the door as he exited the arcade, he then shouted and swore a lot as he walked away from the arcade then walked over to the shop opposite and kicked the shops shutters which set the shop's alarm off. I now all to well how he was feeling and hope he can find a way to end the mystery and suffering. Somehow the arcades and other gambling establishments manage to create a illusion that they have something good, positive or of value to offer when in reality they have nothing of any value to offer and only provide missery and suffering absolutely every time. They do however always manage to make a large profit for themselves in the process.
I haven't gambled again but feel a bit low and rather indecisive at the moment. On a positive note I still see the gambling establishments for what they actually are which is good.
Update to my diary. Unfortunately I gambled on a slot machine today, it cost £165. It has been 58 days since the last time I gambled. I've also realised it means it's the first time in 2022. I want to continue to abstain from gambling and need to put more effort in to improving myself and my situation.
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