Hey just signed up today!
Have been a gambler all my life. Thinking its never been a problrmd. Well the 2 years it got made me see i have a problem. In 18 months i lost £20k every sport online ganes the lot. I have an amazing wife and 3 beautiful daughters. I have felt so so low i thought of ways out but i am through those feelings now. I have had councelling sessions and work with stepchange to sort the mess of the debt out. I have been totally honest for once about the level of my gambling to my wife family and friends . I have not gambled since the 12th May 2019 and feel very positive just taking 1 day at a time. I also think me and ny wife are making progress but then it will all blow up out of nothing and she says she doesnt think she can ever trust anything i say or do. Any tips on how to get past this stage ? Hope everyone keeps strong for today x
Hello,
Welcome to the forum. Great to see you have been able to get things out in the open, that was the single biggest turning point for me. I felt that weight lift and it felt like the REAL start to stopping. Use this time as a chance to reinvent yourself with honesty and work at recovery. Why did you gamble? What did void did it fill?
You don't need to answer those questions to me but working out the answers over time will help you move forwards and recognise future dangers.
As compulsive gamblers its very hard to explain why we do what we do to non-gamblers. It would be very useful for your wife to learn as much as she can about this addiction, it is a very serious one, often underestimated.
As for what you can do for her trust, the obvious really. Show her what you are doing to change, be open, honest and understand that this is a massive shock and she will be angry for a while. You both need time to get over this but you can use it to grow closer together. Away from gambling we can be much more in the present without worrying about what we won/lost/have bet on/will bet on as well as the worry of being found out. It's an awful place to be and well done for what you have done. Just know that this is a process and there is always a danger of returning. You have to keep fighting this everyday. One day at a time.
All the best.
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