Morning Everyone,
I've had a problem for quite a long time now, but I would always tell myself that I didn't, and I would believe myself.
In October my wife found out that in the last 9 months I had gambled away £10k, I had taken out loans, taken out credit cards, lied to my parents about needing money for bills, lied to my wife as to why there were no funds available for us to go out and do anything, she warned me at that point that I was on my last chance, the amount that I had lied to her about things almost pushed us over the edge.
I went from October to February without a problem, but then she went away for a week, it was just me and the kids, and I went back to my old ways, I'd told myself that it wasn't as harmful this time because I was dealing with much smaller amount - £22 in a month instead of what it had previously been - but I'd still kept it from her, she found out about it again on Tuesday and immediately told me not to bother coming home from work that day, find somewhere else to stay, I ended up in a hotel for two nights and it gave me an insight into what my life would be like if I didn't stop this, and I really didn't like what I saw, I'm feeling confident that I can turn things around, but I am also terrified of what might happen the next time I get that urge.
Me and my wife are currently on good speaking terms, I am back in the house but we are sleeping separately, we have opened up multiple lines of communication and have spend so much of the last three days just talking and explaining our feelings and emotions about things, however she has made it very clear that if this happens again then our relationship would be over.
I've signed up with GamStop, so that should prevent an immediate relapse, I was wondering what other people had found to be a suitable and healthy coping mechanism, be it online or out in the real world, ideally I would like to avoid substituting the gambling for gaming as I have found that just allows me to transfer the issue to something else, I would also like to minimise the cost of the coping mechanism.
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated, I really love my wife and children and sitting here right now I know I couldn't handle being separated from them, but I am also terrified that when the urge comes on I'll find myself some excuse that allows me to slip back into gambling which will effectively throw away the last 12 years of marriage.
Thankyou in advance.
Mike
Hi Mike
Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time stopping. Can I ask what/where you gamble? Unfortunately no matter how hard we try and want to stop, will power is not enough on its own. Have you put any blocks in place? I have tried so many times but have had relapses although in the past few years the damage has been limited due to having lots of blocks in place. I have now pretty much put every block in place possible so that even if I do get an urge, I can’t act upon it.
i won’t list all of the blocks for now but if you’d like to know more then please let me know. I hope you dat is going okay.
Lonely
Hey,
Of course you can, I would essentially try and find anything that would have a deal on at that moment in time, multiple e-mail addresses to take advantage on multiple occasions.
I've managed to get things set up on GamStop so hopefully that will help, my bank allows me to block specific transaction types so I have been able to set that up too, my wife has immediate access to all the accounts I do, so I'm also hoping that the fear of her being able to find out will allow me to keep the blocks in place.
Cheers,
Mike
Hi Mike
I was mid way through writing a post earlier and then my phone died so sorry I didn’t reply soon.
Thats great that you have told your wife as that’s one of the hardest things to do. You also sound like you have started putting blocks in place which are also really important so that’s really positive.
Hopefully your wife having access to your accounts acts as a deterrent and with the other two blocks in place should make it pretty difficult, however if you can I would put more blocks in place for good measure as I know from experience that if we really want to gamble we will find a way. Just something to think about.
I hope you’ve had a good gamble free day.
Lonely
Hi mike there is a gambling triangle break one of three elements at any time and u can't gamble, it is money time location. I just go for the money option. When I go out I don't take my credit or debit card (too easy to take cash out), I just take enough cash for reason I'm going out then I can only lose that much if I do end up gambling which 99 times out of 100 succeeds. I also transfer all my wages after bills to a loved one. I mean would you rather have money in ur account or a loving wife and child, no brained. Everything else you've done sounds perfect. Be thankful for gamstop its great and not been out long before that it SAS a lot harder. All the best adam
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
