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My journey in complete honesty  


Hi all,

Wanted to share my story really just to get it all off my chest and if it resonates with anyone it will be an added bonus.

I don’t really want to write a sob story but I’ve had a pretty hard life without really ever catching a break, I hate to say that but I’m in therapy and trying to be less harsh on myself so I suppose that’s the truth. Along with this I have never had anyone who has been able to help me financially when I’ve needed it, I’ve seen friends inherit large sums of money, which they absolutely deserve!! But the fact is that will never be me, that’s not how my life is panned out. I hate to be that person but after a while it’s hard not to think when will it be my turn to have a little bit of luck financially! I now have a 2 year old, I suffered pre&post natal depression, anxiety and have OCD. After having my baby I became obsessed with giving her everything I never had and making sure when she’s older she knows I gave her the world, but being mentally in a very bad place and being on mat leave, taking extended mat leave where I received no money whatsoever everything just spiralled, I began gambling at this point and part of my ocd called magical thinking convinced me I was definitely going to win and this is how my life would change, I was finally going to catch my break. My compulsions got worse and obviously the gambling did exactly as intended and got me hooked. I sank further and further into debt, chasing the money, aside from the gambling I would buy things on credit to provide to provide the life for my child I felt I needed to. About a week ago I contacted stepchange and today is my first day on gamcare and after about an hour on here I have now put a complete block on my accounts through gamstop. This isn’t a success story yet but fingers crossed, stepchange and gamcare honestly feel like my life savers right now. 

Posted : 28th February 2021 9:29 pm
Forum admin

Hi @louise900,


Thank you for sharing your post and for being so honest about how you are feeling.


I am really sorry you are feeling like this, you have done some great things already by installing Gamstop and contacting StepChange. That is a great step forward. Well done


It sounds like gambling has become an overwhelming feature in your life, with many people experiencing the feeling of chasing losses so you are not alone. Putting a realistic repayment plan in place, with the help of StepChange will ease the financial strain and pressure, and the debt will only go one way without gambling.

It also sounds like you have so much going on without the gambling, which seems to be affecting your mental health.  If you haven’t already, I would encourage you to make an appointment with your GP to explore some additional support.


As I am sure you will find going forward, the Forum is a welcoming and supportive space which allows you to talk to others who may also be experiencing similar issues to yourself.


Should you be in need of any further support with your recovery, please feel free to contact the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat available from the website  both of which are open seven days a week, 24 hours a day and where one of our advisers will be able to talk, for as long as you need, and look at all the support available to you.

Wishing you all the very best and keep sharing,




Forum Admin

Posted : 28th February 2021 10:00 pm

Hi Louise. Welcome. It was really nice to speak to you last night in chat. I recognise a lot of myself in you. I was in your position 3 weeks ago. You can do this . We are all here for you x

Posted : 1st March 2021 10:43 am

You can do it louise , can relate to you say. For me having my daughter/wife makes me richest person in the world , but can also relate that financially not having a break at all when see others do can be demoralising and can relate to mindset thoughts you describe for sure , all here for you as debsy said.

Posted : 1st March 2021 9:06 pm
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