Keeping control

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(@andrewh2016)
Posts: 4
Topic starter
 

Hi there, I'm new here and recently decided I must control what I've been doing. Long story short. I've gambled for about 10+ years and yes lost more than won. Recently I won a clear xxxx profit on online roulette, that only spurred me on to try to win more, yet I lost £5000. Familiar story to some here I'm sure. So I have now blocked myself on all the sites. Recognising I still have a good situation. I'm about to put 15k in as my side of the  deposit with the wife to buy a property. Currently about 2 grand below that due to gambling and may have to drop into overdraft to cover it.  This is what prompted my blocking action. Right now sat drinking wine in a pub that's actually next to a casino and some thoughts came to my mind. Maybe I can just sneak in and win a grand or so. I know crazy, trying to stay strong and recognise things could be worse. I'm sure you all can recognise what I'm saying. Thanks and nice to be around people who understand these crazy urges!

This topic was modified 2 years ago by Forum admin
 
Posted : 30th October 2021 11:39 am
(@bladesman)
Posts: 328
 

Hi Andrew well done for realising your situation before getting into debt. The only thing I would add is maybe put a block on gambling transactions on your debit card with your Bank as well. As the days add up hopefully the urges will get less, you are in a good place financially so please don't waste this opportunity to stop before it really gets out of control

 
Posted : 30th October 2021 9:59 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5946
Admin
 

Hello Andrewh2016

Welcome to the Forum, it is good to have you here.  I am sure you will find the benefits of coming into the Forum where you can connect with others in Recovery from problem gambling.  Problem gambling is cunning, powerful and baffling and without help it is too much.

Along with the Forum we have Advisers available 24/7 to help you through your early Recovery.  You can contact an Adviser by calling 0808 8020 133 or using our LiveChat option.  I encourage you to make contact so we can discuss the best way forward for you. 

I wish you all the very best on your Journey to freedom from problem gambling.

Best

Amanda

Forum Admin.

This post was modified 2 years ago by Forum admin
 
Posted : 31st October 2021 6:57 am
(@andrewh2016)
Posts: 4
Topic starter
 

Thanks, I think you're right. The urges get less. There's the danger of going in with cash into the casino. I tested myself yesterday, went in for a free drink and watched football and walked out without making any bet.   I am well aware things can suddenly change if I was to start. If I don't start then I'm fine, but it's when I lose I can't stop fighting to beat the roulette wheel. I am considering in person GA sessions. I did also call this number once and it was helpful. I banned myself on GameStop so this is a big step as online gambling is the biggest most dangerous threat after a drink.

This post was modified 2 years ago by Forum admin
 
Posted : 31st October 2021 8:39 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5946
Admin
 

Hi Andrew,

If you call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 or live chat, we can provide you with a free promotional offer of GamBan software.  (If as well as registering with GamStop for self-exclusion, you also register with GamBan to install blocking software to limit access to gambling sites on your devices, and use your banking App to turn off card payments to gambling sites, altogether they can make it easier to avoid online gambling). 

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/blocking-software/

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/money-management/

You might also be interested to know about SENSE:

SENSE (Self-Enrolment National Self-Exclusion; scheme for casinos)

0203 409 2047

https://bettingandgamingcouncil.com/sense-self-exclusion-scheme

Take care,

Adam.

 
Posted : 31st October 2021 11:20 am
(@bailsjake)
Posts: 6
 

Well done mate. You should feel proud of yourself for stopping before it got really out of hand. Kind of in the same boat where Ive lost 2 grand and I'm now putting an end to it. Keep it up and you can look back and be proud of yourself.

 
Posted : 31st October 2021 7:00 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Hello Andrewh2016 and Welcome.

Its a complex addiction. It acts like a drug addiction because it is a drug addiction.

Once hooked (and it doesnt take long to get hooked) there is no control without full abstention and the help of loving and caring people

We are wired to be attracted and overwhelmed by the neuron paths of gambling but so are hundreds of thousands of others. Its a mainstream addiction and the government and gambling dens know it.

The exact reverse of your delusional thoughts is the reality...The odds are that you could sneak into a casino and LOSE a few thousand pounds not the other way round. All our thoughts of stopping early are nonsense compared to the addictive grip it has over us

We formulate little plans in our heads like its some sort of bail out investment plan for a tougher month. Its a random act in no way designed to be reliable in any given moment. Our living expenses need some sort of reliability that my boss is paying me a set amount for my work ...not some random leaf in the wind pastime.

Oh but some people say they have won and that thoughts sticks in their minds. Oh Ive won a few tiny amounts during and after sinking the price of a house into it all......any mug can do that!

The real drive for me was the drug of gambling but it took me forty years to finally reach out for help. During that time I had been homeless, bankrupt and ended up as a recluse but no rock bottom moment would snap me out of it.

Gambling was my drug of choice and my actually my cry for help. I was very jaded and felt had very little to live for BUT I NEVER WOULD HAVE ADMITTED THAT . In recovery it started to become clear that I was misguided and very depressed but putting a semi brave face on it

Im giving you the most direct answer as it does get complex with multiple triggers and multiple reasons. The money plays some part as a trigger but not the most important part even though we tend to think its the main driving force. The truth is I really knew I was gambling to lose but I needed my drug soup anticipation fix of reels spinning. 

You need to stop right now and pick up the phone and tell someone like your father for example. You need to learn what you are dealing with if you think you can handle this alone.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

This post was modified 2 years ago by Joydivider
 
Posted : 31st October 2021 7:49 pm
(@andrewh2016)
Posts: 4
Topic starter
 

Thanks for the messages all. Indeed it is a complex addiction. After I had won that decent amount,I could never imagine within a few weeks it had gone and then down some more. I think back and it's amazing, I don't even understand how so much money disappeared! Like a blur really. Feeling good right now as this is my first full month now with a block on all gambling sites and I endeavour to see how much I can put aside from conventional wages. 

 

 
Posted : 1st November 2021 3:12 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

That's good but you have work to do while your thoughts are clear and lucid

It's a powerful and nasty addiction that will bide it's time as it gets into our bones to a level where it becomes a dominant force

The cold turkey must be done with strong blocks and you need to realise there isn't really a time when you can totally relax and be complacent about it.

Protect nearly all of your money and I found that a monitoring group of close people really helps.  

Most of the battle is building on the final realisation that it's not for you and you really won't be missing anything good about it 

You need to start seeing it clearly for what it is.....the odds are not set for "free money or entertainment"

It's a mugs game,a tax on the needy and a vice primarily designed to make millionaire den owners even richer 

You need to build on the strength that it wasn't even a fair challenge and the punters are essentially gambling for the misery stained money of other punters 

Its not a get it back later scheme at any rate slow or fast....it doesn't work like that or the dens would not exist....get miffed but you will learn to let it go and find an inner peace of mind 

With very strong blocks there is less emphasis on counting the days. What you will live for is talking about it and healing your mind 

The key is that the truth and important things about your life start to take over again. 

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 2 years ago by Joydivider
 
Posted : 2nd November 2021 9:32 pm

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