I’m new here and need help.

Hi all,I’m new here and feel like I desperately need help. After wasting money on an online gambling site this morning, I now feel like it’s time to seek help. I have been a problem gambler on and off for about 4 years. I have a really “mad” week and spend probably everything I have and then I can stop and not even think about it for months. But as soon as something stressful in my life happens,there I go again. It’s like this vicious circle I feel trapped in. I have never spoke about it before,so I know by being here I’m ready to try and sort myself out. Any advice and kind words would be gratefully received ?

Unfortunately I done the same as you last week. I lost quite a bit of money which I had saved up and still feel sick about it but it's gone now.All you can do is pick yourself up and go again Unfortunately there is no magic pill or easy way out but it can be done with willpower and help and support keep your chin up and go again take care

The aim is to just make it to the next day. I think too far ahead and worry about bills and expenses that won’t be due for a long time. Once i started thinking less about if i had enough to make it to pay day again and more about the present moment I got control back over my addiction. Try again tomorrow and again and again until you make it. Cuz you will 

You said the words... 4 years of being a problem gambler... you need to get into the mindset of wanting to stop, unfortunately words of sympathy will only make you feel better for a small while and then history may repeat itself. My advice is make an agreement with yourself to want to become someone who doesn't want to gamble and who recognises how bad it is. Are you worth that? Of course you are, everyone is. Write down things you like about yourself and things you don't like, write down your strengths and weaknesses. Write down things you've often thought about doing with your life but always put to the side, make these your new focus, you need other aims along side stopping gambling to take the pressure off. Lastly I'd advise you regularly post on here or at least come back to read other comments as a reminder of why you want to stop etc. Good Luck!

Understand be aware and care. If you understand why you gamble would you? Bored dopamine programming by media. They all play a part. The drifting from awareness to shutting down awareness because we rather go into our subconscious self than being in an aware state. Your brain is built to protect you and give you pleasure. Those are some of the basics. When you go into gambling you shut down and live in your own fantasy world for a while (till the money is gone) It's called the zone.

If you know these things you can start to reason with yourself better. Cut down on the amount you gamble and even get P****d of with the crooked odds you are actually faced with when you do gamble because they are just created to keep you there for as long as it takes to finish your cash off. The industry has a term called TOD or time on device. There are many books you can read about these things. Natasha Dow Schull who researched machines for years very clearly stated that machine players do not play to win but play to keep playing.

Understand be aware and care. Decide to do other things. Decide to change your routines. Make micro small changes for bigger ones in the future. Decide to take charge. The only one who can do it is you.

Best

C

I felt so angry and upset with myself yesterday morning. Today I feel that little bit more positive. I have always felt alone in this,and always wondered “what is wrong with me” but reading through the forums and realising I’m not alone and there are success stories out there has helped. I’m sure like many,this has been my little secret. Something I haven’t been able to share with anyone and to be honest, I don’t want to share it with anyone I know. I think having you all will be a great help. Since I started gambling,I have suffered terribly with anxiety actually had my first panic attack on Xmas day 2 years ago. I know exactly what my trigger is to gambling,stress!! So I know need to learn to avoid stress,and if that’s not possible find a different coping mechanism that works for me. I just can’t believe I let it get this bad before seeking any help. Gamcare team have been amazing so far!! 

Although I don't know you I feel as if I do as gamblers stories are all very similar all we can do is park the past it's gone think of the future and how good you'll feel say a year from now being gamble free it can be done with hard work and help and willpower take care

Hello Claire5 and welcome to the GamCare forum.

Thank you for joining the forum and reaching out for help. It's a big step to speak about it for the first time and it sounds like you're ready for change. 

You were saying that you don't gamble very often, but when you do, it causes a lot of damage. What do you think about taking some steps to prevent yourself being able to gamble? There are tools you can put in place now, when you're feeling ready to change, that can protect you in future times when you might not feel as strong. 

There are options available to ban or block you from most types of gambling including online. You may also be able to ask your bank to block gambling transactions.

Find out more at our website:

Banning yourself from gambling sites and locations:
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/self-exclusion/

Blocking online gambling:
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/blocking-software/

You might also want to contact us on the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or by livechat. We can offer more self help information, and tell you about free treatment options as well to help you recognise and cope with triggers and resist those gambling urges. It can also help to talk about those stressful situations that are triggering you to gamble.

We hope you continue to post on the forum and get support from others who have been where you are.

Take care and keep posting,

Deirdre
Forum Admin

Hi Claire

Just wanted to add that I saw you'd posted your introduction twice so I merged them all into this one thread.

Best wishes

Deirdre
Forum Admin

I have been in touch with my bank and put a block on my card,also have an app on my phone which blocks me from being able to access any gambling site on my phone. It will only be day 3 without gambling for me today,and desperately trying to keep my mind occupied. I know I can do this because I go months without needing to or feeling the urge to gamble. But when something happens that causes me stress it’s like a bomb in my head and all I can see is those reels turning. I need to train my brain to do something else when I’m stressed and I just don’t know what.