Hiya a bit about how I've ended up e*e..No excuses and can't condone what ive done I've never been one for slot machines wether it be in the pub or in blackpool....Im usually a strong person and the one who sorts everyone else's problems out..I lost my brother to suicide and a lot of family stuff came with that..I tried sorting everyone out and didn't realise that I forgot about me..noone else seemed to notice it n if they did they didn't acknowledge it.I used to play the odd game of bingo but then started on slots..I didnt expect to win and would just press the button again n again.i spent my money I spent my partners money took out several payday loans etc to cover my tracks..only thing I can think it started was it stopped me thinkin about what was goin on around me..it just added to my problems cos I worried about money or lack of it.Fast forward a few years ive relapsed a few times a few weeks ago I did it again I told my partner who went mad but we got past it..hes not one for talking.So we just plodded on...then this weekend ive done it again..spent his money out of his account..the sickness I feel is too much...im embarrassed and ashamed.. ..usually I've said dont tell my son (he's 25) but today I thought I need to tell them both together..I admitted it but he wouldve found out when he went to the bank but I need their support.my partner walked out of the room and my son shouted at me for being an idiot..I asked him to block sites and he filled the form in for me ive uploaded my ID and waiting on a response.I contacted the bank via live chat and asked them to ban transactions to gaming....he wished me luck and said I'd been brave.. making the first steps...I had to for my own sanity but also for my family.my partner isn't speaking to me at the minute n I feel so bad.hes a good man who doesn't deserve this.hes mot my sons dad but treats him like his own n always looks after us..ive now left us penniless for 2 weeks until pay day..im determined to get past this though so any extra steps I can take to make sure i can't unblock any sites would be helpful and much appreciated..my dad knows I had a problem at first but I dont want him to know now..ive not told many friends..not my closest ones either.My brother used to put all his wage into machines n id go mad n now im doing it only online though I dont bet on anything other than slots..theres no way my partner will sot n talk about it so I'm glad ive found this forum to get things off my chest.hopefully my partner will see im trying and il succeed...I know as long as I'm gambling il never be happy.But its a vicious circle and one im determined to beat X
The fact that you are here asking for help and that you came clean to your partner and son shows that you know you have a problem, you have admitted this and need help and support to tackle it. They are all very big steps in fairness so well done for doing that.
Unfortunately your partner or son wont understand the mind states of an addict, so for me the best support you can get will be from your nearest GA meeting, there you get the support of fellow addicts who are at various stages of recovery. If you go there and be totally honest every week and commit yourself to the recovery program you can really tackle this addiction.
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