Support us

I'm back!  

 
zarsan
(@zarsan)

Hi guys.

So I will try to make this short, since my last post here was quite long. I posted here around 5 months ago, and I came clean of having lost over 150k through a period of 10 years gambling (Im now 29 years old). I wanted to quit and was quite good at it for around two months. Then I fell back into it, started as a small bet, then I won quite big - and from there it went downhill. I lost everything I had won (of course) and much more. So I currently have 65k of depts. I still have an okay job so it's not like Im going to go bankrupt, but I need to stop or else I will never be able to pay it down. 

I moved home to my parents home 6 months ago with a plan to save money and pay down my debt, and eventually by myself a flat. With corona I have had so much time at home and I have wasted so much of it gambling - again. 

What I think I am strugling the most with is coming to terms with my loses. That's where I always fall back - a resentment and anger over my own actions and trying to win it back. I never do.

I really want to quit, but I could use som motivating words because the addiction is very strong these days. 

Thank you very much.

J

Quote
Posted : 10th August 2020 7:41 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

I'd just try reading your old posts and ask yourself what can you do differently this time?

What worked for you and what didn't and what can you do to help yourself?

Chris.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th August 2020 8:45 pm
Bladesman
(@bladesman)

Hi, firstly well done for reaching out for help. It's a lot of money but deep down you know you will never win it back so I found finally accepting that and making sure it didn't get any worse was a big step. Have you put any blocks in place like registering with Gamstop and putting blockers on your devices. I have betblocker installed for 5 years and gamstop for the same so this removes the temptation. 

We have all been there chasing the losses hoping for the big win which we know will never happen so today is day 1 of your new life.

Accept the losses no matter how bad and get back to being a normal person again without this evil that lurks in the shadows.

It's the old cliche of 1 day at a time so if you wake up tomorrow having not gambled feel proud and think of the positives of not gambling.

I have just taken each day as it comes, some good some bad but with the help of gamcare who arranged counselling I am proud to say I am now 60 days gamble free and life feels so much better.

Don't get me wrong I am still in a mess financially and trying desperately to save my marriage of 30 years but have taken the first steps to doing so after many tears of lies and deceit. 

Just my view but hope it helps.

Stay strong and good luck

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th August 2020 8:46 pm
Ameliasgran
(@ameliasgran)

Hi, same here lost thousands sadly I’m 60 years old, luckily you are very young and can start again.  I lost my pension pot and have nearly run out of time.  Best thing I did, 2 weeks ago I joined Gamstop.  Blocked everything and so far it’s worked.  Not even missing gambling.  The only way I could stop was to have it all taken out of my control.  Just register and get blocked.  You can do it.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th August 2020 9:27 pm
Frogman
(@frogman)

Hi Zaraan,

Welcome back. As you know, you will always be received here in warm hands. Well done for posting again.

As Chris rightly said, you were here a few months ago so you need to look back and  see what you can do differently. One thing is obvious, which is to stop gambling, but of course, that’s easier said than done.

Ameliasgran is also spot on that you have time in your hands at 29 so please sort this problem out before it gets completely out of hand.

 

I first posted here in 2018 myself after losing approx 25k from 2012. I couldn’t get the loss out of my head, I had a spreadsheet for all those years. I went on chasing and in the same year it went to over £60k. I didn’t stop, I went on chasing and I got to £109k this year. I came back here almost two months ago and haven’t gambled since. I know I haven’t got rid of my addiction yet but I am definitely in a better place than I was 2 months ago. I am 36 with two kids, 4 and 2. I am seeing this as a last chance to sort myself out. 

Try as much as possible to keep your debts in one corner of your head, forget it if you can and try and tackle the addiction head on, go back to the things you enjoy doing apart from gambling, video games, hanging out, chasing beautiful women etc. Just try and occupy yourself.

I know the thought of all the money lost is strong and will always try to drag you back but the ONLY way out is to forget it.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th August 2020 10:36 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi @zarsan

Welcome back to the Forum. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment - it can be difficult to come to terms with a big loss and this can keep you in a place of wanting to continuously chase those losses. I want to reassure you that you are not alone with this struggle and there is lots of support available to you.

One of the services we can offer is free 1:1 treatment support where you can talk to one of our practitioners regularly about your gambling. This can help you to process your feelings around the losses and make the changes you want to, to help you move forward. Please feel free to contact our helpline on 08088020133 if this sounds like it may be beneficial for you, or if there is anything else we can do to support you.

I wish you all the very best.

Warmest wishes

Zoe

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23rd August 2020 11:40 am
Share this page
Share
  
Working

Please Login or Register